The paths we pick or is it the path that pick us?
I'm still always questioning where I should be or am I making a good choice about what I'm doing? "is this the right step to take?"...So much outside influences coming in and so hard to know if it's right or not. Fact is it's normal to question..Who am I, what is my purpose and am I of service to others. But what came to me in my morning pages was surprising and eye opening and I'm realizing I'm carrying this junk around that is really holding me back...Time to clean house on those thoughts and start this day with a clean slate. The main thing that seem to hold a lot of people back including myself is fear, which I have many fears but I'm one to stand up to them most times, but there are still some fears still lingering around and slip in with out me being aware...and they show up as other feelings...like protectiveness, resentment and low self-esteem... to funny how one can go on in their own head like a hamster on it's metal wheel..."I've have hear it's a dangerous place to be alone...as in one's own head...take someone with you when you go." And what I found to counter balance that is Gratitude...I've pulled in on it big time and it makes all those feelings go to dust..
So some how with slits of light I've been directed on a path that I'm on and little bits of grain have been spread out for me to pick up that have lead me to where I am now...I know that I've been guided along this path...to many events of synchronicity have happened not to know that I have had guidance. So with the past couple of months behind me now...I'm sitting with much gratitude and getting off the stool of pity and moving and facing some fears...1. is getting some fresh work to submit to the gallery in the city that emailed back and said they would like to switch work out...so as it happens I was starting on something and just lost myself yesterday in the studio and let it happen as of the creative flow...More today and then some images...
I think that working on my art and life is a continued flow of interconnections that I don't always understand but I do trust will keep my on this path I'm on, I so enjoy being at home tending to my homestead, family and pets and being able to create in my studio..that I'm so grateful for...how lucky I am. Keeping happiness and joy in one's life is not a easy job...it does have to be worked at daily and I solider on to keep what I have and to allow the door to stay open for new possibilities...
ramblings and babblings...help keep me centered and grounded, with comfort and love..
So some how with slits of light I've been directed on a path that I'm on and little bits of grain have been spread out for me to pick up that have lead me to where I am now...I know that I've been guided along this path...to many events of synchronicity have happened not to know that I have had guidance. So with the past couple of months behind me now...I'm sitting with much gratitude and getting off the stool of pity and moving and facing some fears...1. is getting some fresh work to submit to the gallery in the city that emailed back and said they would like to switch work out...so as it happens I was starting on something and just lost myself yesterday in the studio and let it happen as of the creative flow...More today and then some images...
I think that working on my art and life is a continued flow of interconnections that I don't always understand but I do trust will keep my on this path I'm on, I so enjoy being at home tending to my homestead, family and pets and being able to create in my studio..that I'm so grateful for...how lucky I am. Keeping happiness and joy in one's life is not a easy job...it does have to be worked at daily and I solider on to keep what I have and to allow the door to stay open for new possibilities...
ramblings and babblings...help keep me centered and grounded, with comfort and love..
What an amazing post. And it's posts like this that really make me miss the Artist Way blog. Not everyone will open up on their regular blogs like they did there. This is right on the mark Laura. And so glad you reminded me of the morning pages. I LOVE HANK!!! He's gorgeous and love that he carries things. Sparky is too funny. She started a huge pup and is becoming a short little thing.
ReplyDeleteHugs honey...good to hear from you...I check you blog every day and sometime twice to see if you added anything else...thanks for your comment, and I really think I need to carry a bigger bag when we walk as Hank wants to pick up the garbage all the time so maybe I should let him and we can clean up the neighborhood together...I know it's coming time to clean up the cattail basin across the street the neighbors are now helping with that...took a few years for them to step forward but i put my rubber boots on and go at it...got to give back when called upon..
ReplyDeleteWell I would love to see pictures of Sparky..she sounds like a wonderful blessing..
~v~Laura
I resonate with exactly EVERYTHING you say here. So nice to read someone has the same realizations as I do. Morning pages: that would be useful for me, but that part, way inside, resists change (some kind of "irrational" self-protection based on, bottom line, probably fear). I know gratitude IS a wonderful way to dissolve "stuff".
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for allowing yourself to be seen here.
:-)
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ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteYou speak for so many of us. It takes a long time to conquer fear, but I once heard a wise woman speak who said, "whatever you want to do, do it afraid". When I have tried that, it is good for me, and forces me to move outside my safety zone. I think one small answer to it, though, is coming to a place of surrender and self-acceptance. Once we embrace these important components, we stop comparing ourselves to others. For me, this is what trips me up many times. I have to give myself the grace to accept that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Of course I lean on the divine to help me along with that. I have started to look at myself as part of a large piece of art that is fluid. For me, I look at God as the master artist, creating and making changes in where he wants to put me in his creation. And it's all ok.
Re and everyone,
ReplyDeleteThere's more to the big picture then what is right in front of us and it's heart warming to hear from all of you...I know I'm in the right place as more paths are revealed...so grateful for that. Thanks all, as I keep turning the pages of my life I find that the connections to something bigger is more important to me...as we make the cycle to the place we started...full circle...just so cool to connect with everyone..even when one is stumbling a long and trying to stay on a good path...