Spiritual Connections comes in many forms.

 

Brand New Day, 

6 x 6 

revisited sold piece of artwork. 

I am a spiritual creature, capable of faith, hope, and an appreciation of beauty.  I have an unlimited source of strength and comfort at my disposal. Today I will take the time to cultivate that spiritual connection.  

Many times throughout my life I've witness others in a their powerlessness state.  It's not a fun place to be in, for either being. 

I'm up early because I went to bed way too early but I was tired and sleep is important. With our elder dog-Hank his needs have me up a  few times at night. Grateful he's able to still get up and do it.  Not every night but most nights.  So any time I have an opportunity to sleep I take it. 

My morning pages were raw this morning and there seems to be still more wanting to come out so I've come to the blog. The pain of not be able to fix something, or someone is tough.  What is the hardest to accept is in come cases I'm not suppose think I'm all powerful and can fix.  Though I so want to.  

I reflect on this year...not a pretty sight but a sight of reality, great learning and growth.   And it brings me to an inner strength I've felt my whole life.   A presence between the pine trees out in a large farm pasture I would walk to and hear the winds make a beautiful song. I'm reminded of the back yard swing that was visited often when I was very young. The air flowing around my body and the sounds of the Crows all talking high in the cottonwoods every time I would be there.  

These moments,  I pull from while we wait for an answer to find out if the husband has Covid.   Sounds like I'm making him up likes he's on his death bed. He's not. Though he is sure doing a hell lot of sleeping which is good. I keep checking his temp and that's a low grade one.   With all the media scare and the reality of those elders mostly passing it's got me swaying in my faith just a little. 

I can sway but I don't hate that's for sure,  Mid year I made a choice to keep love flowing through as much as I can naturally and pray for the rest in guidance and awareness.   There is always an opportunity to use what is in front of you to learn and grow with.   Dwelling, isn't a choice. 

How am I using my time daily?  I'm still doing small process steps in moving towards some projects I would like to do. I feel like I should freeze...not fighting or taking flight but yes freezing.  

Am I taking care of myself? good foods, exercise, sleep?  Yes

Am I allowing time for thoughts to drift away in the wind and not allow them to take hold and descend my thoughts? I am...

I fell apart this morning after writing all that was dear to my heart and then some.   That letting go was just where I needed to be.  A place in my heart of openness, vulnerability and gratitude. 

I had to set down the bag of emotions in order to find the clarity.  All my feelings and thoughts are there but they are there to awaken me to new ways not old ways...I've been through this and so has my husband.  He said he's having flashbacks from getting Legionnaire's disease 9 years ago.  And I said me too.  Spiritual connections comes in many forms.