Keeping a daily practice- continued deepness

For what every reason....routine junkie/obsessive one?  Which I never thought I was but I am...I daily put things into practice and some times it seems I'm asking myself why and what good is this...but I keep the practice up...in my art and in my spiritual life. 

Times I question as we all do and other times I truly believe and know.  As in nature the ebbs and flow the swaying with the winds...as a good practice to stay on the Red Road of life and yes you may sway from left to right which is the black road...a not so health road if travel only at that but we do hopefully learn from the swaying and continue the journey in a good orderly direction.

As I was moving things around in my studio making room for a big color printer we have in the house...I had to move a book shelf that has some of my fully worded morning page journals and other books I cling to.  I thought why do I do this every morning and then I save them, the journals that is and no one can read them because my writing looks like short hand...it just skips across the page sometimes at high speed and other times becomes so small...the habit of pen to paper...comforting for me.

So from Julia's one book Artists Way Every day~
What writing brings to a life is a clarity and tenderness.  Writing, we witness ourselves. We say, like our own village elders, "I knew you when you were knee high and you've certainly come a long way." Writing gives us a place to say what we need to say, but also to hear what we need to hear.

This morning with the daily practice of morning pages....I witness this clarity and tenderness...I know it doesn't stay in my life, it's not suppose to. The natural way is to keep ever changing... cycling in and out, around and through. 

Mornings like these nothing super spectacular happens though some clarity and this is good enough.

I'm writing every morning, many pages,
Reading from spiritual 12 step books
Native American meditation,
Some Buddhist spiritual books
and the Living Wabi Sabi book.

My morning routine sticks to pretty much the same....the important of self care this way started when I lived at home some 40 years ago...diary's or journals of a dyslexic teenage girl from a divorce with creative abilities and a new step family....I needed something to keep the clarity. Most of the time though I numbed out on things I shouldn't have...but stopped that many years ago...

September 28th
Newborn babies can't walk or talk or focus their eyes too well. Ability comes with time. The baby calf in the field that was so strange looking and unsteady on its feet was running within hours. The effort put forth to move give strength to do it-and moves us to more effort. But like the tide, the effort to move is followed by a rest, and then movement again. Each effort makes the next time a little easier until there is maximum strength or full growth. Some things challenge our very existence. It is the nature of things. But every effort we make weakens the challenge. If we will not give up. but we move and rest, move and rest, the breakthrough comes, the power to overshadow and shrink a test.
Whatever the gains, whatever the loss, they are yours. Five Wounds. 


The importance of self awareness is key...

From Wabi Sabi Living...

When we are upset, it's easy to blame others. The true cause of our feelings, however, is within us. For example, imagine yourself as a glass of water. Now, imagine past negative experiences as sediment at the bottom of your glass. Next, think of an unpleasant situation as a spoon. When the spoon stirs, the sediment clouds your water. It may appear that the spoon caused the water to cloud-but if there were no sediment, the water would remain clear. Even if we remove the spoon, our sediment still remains-lying in wait for the next spoon to appear. On the other hand if we remove our sediment, then no matter how a spoon may stir, our water will remain clear. 

By carrying this illumination in your heart, you can see every stormy circumstance or emotion for what it truly is-an opening for you to increase your clarity and expand your joy. This is the wisdom of imperfection...

If you want your future to be different that your past, study your past.  -Baruch Spinoza