Back to my RAW self and blogging with respect and purpose

Week 4 Check-in

Well, let me first off tell you I didn’t make it through the week totally clean of all reading and social media…dang that’s hard. My emails were piling up and I didn’t read most of them but deleted the ones that I really didn’t need to read, junk emails.

I found myself going to the reading and hanging out as a usage for procrastination and avoidance. I was trying to keep track of my thoughts or what I was realizing as I was going through this week to share with you. Which I’m sure you all have come to your own realization of this.

 

1.      Going into this I feel excited and willing to know more about myself and reconnect. I like to say I wanted to know the RAW self…you know the one that is Real, Awesome and Whole. (A little affirmation there)

2.      I found that I wasn’t so distracted and I was at first a bit lost but once I got into what active I needed to I was fully in and connected and finished it pretty well full through.

3.      I started to feel a real honest connection. One that was not filled with outside influences, one of my own understandings.

4.      I found out that I don’t do well with down time…as if I seem to always have to be doing something, or keeping my hands busy. When I have nothing to do…I turn to food and that’s not a good thing…so I’ve had to learn this week to sit and just breathe now and then.

5.      I’ve been getting some great ideas for creating a few new piece of collage work. One morning I sketched them out on some post it notes. Just this morning I was shot with an idea to go and take a basic drawing class again. I have always loved the pencil to paper connection and the pen to paper connection of journaling.

 

 

6.      I’ve made some plans about a day artists date, but maybe when the weather is warmer. I want to bring a camping chair, my sketch book and some drawing and writing tools and see what happens as I find a spot in the woods to sit and allow nature to be my guide.

7.      I’ve enjoy my own ideas instead of being bombarded with other people’s ideas and how to carry out my own.

 

Had some ups and downs emotional with the preparing for the holidays and family coming together from unresolved childhood issues that each year I seem to grow more accepting with, but they still hurt.  I wrote about them more honestly.

 

And just yesterday on my artists’ date, instead of doing yoga I got dressed and head to the horse stables, I wanted to get there before all the horse would be put out to pasture. I made it there….I didn’t tell a soul, because If I did I would hear from my family… “Why are you driving all that way?”   They wouldn’t get it and I’m not entirely sure I get it but there’s a draw right now and I’m acting on it.  So I hung out there for a while talking with the rangers and barn hands and then I left and decided to drive by all the house I’ve lived in from when I was a baby on up.  There’s been many and lots of accepting and letting go of moves and making new friends.  I mainly learned to be my own best friend…But I do remember looking out the bedroom window all the time to see my dad.  You see the window looked out under a car port and my dad was always working on a car and I could watch him do that…he was my hero, the man that could fix anything.  My dad is still alive but I think I need to share this with him this Thanksgiving somehow as his health is causing some problems lately, nothing of urgency but I’ll do some more morning pages about it and see and be willing to chat with him and see if the time will be right.

 

8.      I’ve wondered again if I should get a job where I get a weekly pay check again…toying with that idea. Husband unsure about his job. 

9.      Then the ideas floats back to the on-line classes I’ve wanted to venture into but out of fear of being latched on to the computer more, and if people want a refund how will I do that? And I good with what I need to do on the computer but to help someone else is not easy.  Silly I know but things that have to be thought about.

10.   How does an artist create more of a weekly pay check - I put this question out to the Good orderly direction without selling your soul.  What skills do I have that I might hone in on better and share.

11.   All week with preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday I’m glad I stayed away from the reading and social media as much as I could. I heard more of what I need and want in my life. Not what the Marketing world thinks I need.  I was able to listen to me. Though it was sometimes scary what I was hearing I do have a different understanding.  Now to stay connected to that is going to be the challenge.  I know when I did this before I decided not to by any of the Creative magazines out there so I could allow my own ideas to emerge… 

 

I’ve been toying with a collage Horse series and as of I’ve got two piece done and want to work on another one but with the holiday’s It’s hard to get the time I need. So instead, I’ve been creating some collages journals, I’m using up my scrap collage papers and then I’m creating journal covers and Coptic stitching them together for a one day Holiday Bazaar coming up in Dec. If feels good to have already 6 done.

 

 
Instead of reading I folded papers...for these journals I've used a box of 500 Professional resume papers.

 I've recycled the back board from the big watercolor paper pads, as you can see I've got quite a few I've been saving. Book board is a bit thicker but this works. I've coated all the boards on the back and front with the polymer medium.
 

 Pulling out some papers that were given to me and some of the papers I've had stashed for some time an using them up. Their all coated with polymer medium to.
 

 Front covers of the first two I made. Did a bit of glazing with acrylics in blue and brown on these two.
 

Snapped this photo this morning in the studio with the six journals I've made this far...I would like to have 10 to bring on Dec 14th at 4 ArtInc.

Back to reading/social media  but with respect and purpose.

Now it’s your time for checking. that is if your doing the Artists way and are working on Week 4...but if you want to check in and say hi that's good too... would love to hear from you.