The woodpeckers and blue jays were out in abundance yesterday morning. All songs to my ears. The scurrying of little four legged critters running across the path and diving for cover had my head turning to the sounds they made.
The day went by fast, I'm having a hard time recalling all that I did. I had wished to stay in the woods all day and some day I just might do that.. pack me a lunch and drawing pad with drawing tools and a nice little seat and spend the day there..Hmm a much needed artists date in the making.
My daughter missed her flight yesterday afternoon from New York to home so she headed back to New Jersey and stayed one more night at her friends house, only hoping to make the flight this morning on stand by early... feel she's safe though she's got a lot of understanding of the environment there, it's her third time visiting.. but still makes me say a prayer for her to come home safe.
A feel I'm at a fork in the path...as of this main idea to pull away from teaching for a good couple of months is calling very strongly these days...I wrote up a plan for Ragdale and some how I knew I wasn't going to submit it, that I just wanted to activate the idea I was proposing and I thinking I did. With the help of an artist friend in the wordsmith department here is what she help me sum up:
They say that life reflects art as art reflects life, and I found this to be true for me. Many hectic years of juggling teaching, mothering, work and life was mirrored in very dense complex collages. And although the lessons learned living through it was invaluable, I am restless to make a change. As I shed more of my maternal responsibilities, my days feel lighter, and the spaces between times less hectic. I would like to explore this novel concept of less is more in a new series of work. I would continue to collage, transfer images and build up surfaces, but forge a new minimal aesthetic. Papers will be selected, combined and glazed to create quiet backgrounds and surfaces. I would use a variety of substrates, (clay board, canvas, paper and three dimension forms) to provide several venues for the new directions to take hold. And finally, I cherish the thought of having an uninterrupted block of time to develop this new direction and build some momentum with daily work practice. Ideally a large space would be needed for my work plan, requiring flat tables for drying repurposed papers.
I look forward to being able to meet and interact with other artists of all disciplines.
I was encouraged to seek this path out by a few artist friends, ones that have had the opportunity to experience Ragdale...but I just couldn't find it me to follow through...I don't feel like a failure for not completing the applications more so it wasn't in my heart to do. I was just following the lead from some people thinking it was a good thing to do now.. so that was one direction to take.
Then there is the path leading to teaching more classes as of getting the push out there to teach classes at LaGrange and all over, Heck every one's doing it.... I have a love hate relationship with it all, as of I hate to haul the stuff around, but I get so excited about teaching and doing it I forget about how much I dislike the packing and hauling...been doing it for 10 years now...
The strongest pull is coming from this directions and I almost feel guilty for even thinking about taking it.. the opportunity to come home is really making her self present.. At a time when things are so unstable and unsure I want to stop teaching and explore my art with out sharing it...as of sharing what I learn and know. The plan is to practice less is more and apply that in my work..(in the work plan above) This means a bit of a change all the way around..and mainly its going to be about not being in the limelight any more as of the "Collage teacher" a lose of a different part of self.. it will be hard to let it go for awhile...as of a sabbatical.
What is a sabbatical?
1.bringing a period of rest
2.any extended period of leave from one's customary work, esp. for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc.
3.denoting a period of leave granted to university staff, teachers, etc, esp approximately every seventh year: a sabbatical year ; sabbatical leave (I'm a bit late on this by 3 years)
Now this doesn't mean I'm turning away from everything that has to do with teaching..there are always side trails I'll be taking I know that.
My concerns are financial at this point mainly and I'm not to upset about losing the ability to share and teach.
Once I get behind a table and I have an andience I'm in my enivornement. Little did I know long ago that I would be doing just that standing in front of people teaching, when I was little I recieved many detention for refusing to stand in front of the class for not doing my oral reports on books,etc.
Well... facts are I'm burnt as of Burn Out and need time to rekindle... darn, dang and damn an artist saying they are burnt out..that a crying shame as of that might mean they didn't do it right... Oh no I did it all and will still do but not like I have... I know I'm all ready feeling the pull and lose of not doing what I normal do at this time of year and that write up lesson plans for the winter session...thought I'm not giving up the workshops I have already set for October or the Classes too, those I'm looking forward to I'm taking about the furture 2011.
Rattling and make noise for my soul... my creative soul that is.. and I'm hearing the sounds and want to make a song.