Nothing Special

So many changes I would like within myself these days. And accepting again the change that I've had to make....grief came to mind this morning when I started this morning meditation in my collage sketchbook. So much of my art is the merging of the inner and outer.  

I know that I have ways that I like to approach my day and being a woman that wears many skirt, shorts and pants I have to check in and see what is really going on.  As I was picking magazine pages to work with out of my box I thought about my morning pages and the prayers I had share on the surface. I'm not really honoring my own life and creativity.  Enmeshment has stepped in my life with a love one, (our elder) and this will happen again and again till she is no more...mind you I'm not wishing, praying for that but real life is this.   I pray for my own healing in life my own balance and harmony.  To have a separate place and I do in my studio.  I have shifted my morning routine so I don't blame for not having the time because I have to do for another.  

I can change things up, switch things around and bring that attention to self and honor what I have in me to come out.  Leaving my supplies and collage sketchbook plus my pocket art journal out I can hoppy up and create any time.   What I had to do was witness my emotions moving through me.  I cried and feel grief of how it was and gratitude for how it is.   Darn is that possible, sure is. 

My spiritual side has me picking up hints and nudges all the time...this is the part this morning I felt I lost....The creative aspect of life is a spirit that runs through us all and I some how lost it... and rightly so nothing stays the same we are all in a state of movement if we like it or not.   

My Vision Board surprises me many times over through out the year.  And this morning I understand this so much more then just liking the saying. 

In life and creativity, there's a freedom in losing yourself and finding yourself both.  

The sad, grief became a joyous hug this morning.  To be open and honor yourself with in a art journal, sketchbook is damn good therapy in my life. 

I then moved to my pocket journal and started a new page... 

               

Not sure but this was what spoke and made sense and I'll see where it takes me after it dries some...Slowing process down and allowing myself to honor my creativity.