So Rich and Challenging

 

Like a prayer, 

The last part of the process, (now in the fall and going into winter time) is to pause periodically to reflect upon our unfolding journey and to remember yet again that we already have what we seek, and we already are what we yearn to become.   What is funny my inner compass card I picked this morning had me reflecting on Longing.  

The bear, the Greater She Bear, that knows this all to well.   Slow down, time to go within and savor your energy.  The Spring was a time of new growth, Summer the abundance, and Fall the harvest of all the good in our life.  The Gentleness of a mother bear is a beautiful experience to witness. She knows all to well what is instore and what needs to be done.  Storing her energy and seeking a place to hunker down for the hibernations time.   After the frenzy of holiday time a small lull will come, (inner growth) and if not in your reign you may wish for it anyways.  We all need this time to pull in some and reflect, do some sorting of things, get a bit organized,  or might we carry less, lighten our load.  

The evening time is one now for me that I savor,  getting all chores done settling in for the evenings rest. The sense of done, over and a new will come but this down time is so important.  I know I say my evening prayer of great thanks and gratitude for the day.  I begin my day with a prayer too and seek the direction and service I'm to do.  Been doing a lot of service for an Elder these days and the evening time is so important for me to claim.  If you know what I mean, much like caring for a baby in similar ways.  

The full circle of observation is upon me in a deeper respect,  I've been blessed with seeing both the new life being enter in and an old being exit out.  Slowly mind you but the dynamics are heart tugging on so many levels.  I'm not always there in my heart though, and I wish I could be more.  This is what has been dealt right now.   Sounds crazy but wanting a son came with another daughter and we had two by the time the twins came around so what you wish for does come but along with that some other learning and relearning moments.  Not regretting anything just relating to life's similarities. 

Pausing here on the blog about things,  Worked hard at planting a garden, with an added bigger garden, harvest a good batch or two of the Wine cap mushrooms too.  The watering system was hooked up with the Well water from the ground and it worked perfectly for what we need as we received many basket full of green beans and the Roma tomatoes for the pizza sauce that I did make for our winter time of personal pizza on Nana bread.   That was my personal goal and with my husband and nature we accomplished it. 

Our first Granddaughter was born in early spiring...my little Taurus Blossom, she's of the earth element.  Mom had a challenging time and long with Dad the first month or so but they are loving parents, soldiering on as a great team together.  They have made it now to 6 month, She is a joy...I find I miss her when I don't see her like once a week.  My Baba'ness starts to seek her out. 

To witness the sweetness the Elder and the baby have been very is special. old ways still work in this new times.   The beginning of life and the end of life are seen right in front of my eyes...not so much hers as she, elder is legal blind but she's able to see some, hear and touch to awaken her great grandma heart.  

Many changes again for the men folk...especially mine as the company he was working for when bankrupt...and had to find a new job.   This was totally a GPS moment as of Greater Power System in our life, like Good Orderly Direction.  The people you know and the moments you active allow us to move forward on some things.  Opened up a new job so quickly for him, I just keep thinking about how it was unfolding right in front of us.  

Through this all I've been continuing in small forces of creativity, teaching and stuff...So many time I wondered but I was forgetting the rest moments for myself...The word Nurture was flashed in my face all year long.  Nurture yourself in as many ways as you can.  Even if that meant laying flat on the floor to stretch, breath and allow life to flow over and be in the moment.   

Little did we know how the family would grow in may ways, our youngest through a challenging time of working, internship, and finishing up her masters met a wonderful man...she was afraid of adding more to her days but now she's not regretting it at all and neither are we.  Being the mother of the bride was a blessing,  Yes I did cry many time silently and openly in the ceremony.. My daughter knew this would happen.  What another wonderful moment that the husband and I had to reinforce in our days as a very strong reminder as we struggle in other area with pain and change. Amazing how the emotions can be so rich and so challenging.  Can we learn to live with the Better Sweet of Life?  Yes, that was all I keep saying through this year and it's not stopped yet.  

As life unfolds still, another one of our daughters is engaged and we are so delight to have these new men folk in the family. I know our son is too.  Though with the new Taurus Blossom and the challenges (new parents)  they have it will be next October for their special gathering.  

Some where along the way... I canned pickles, sweet sour hot, and extra hot pickles. Our elder helped with that because it was her recipe, I was learning.  It was a good day for her to pass this down and such great support to have her there as I was learning.  

Our holidays will change and rightly so and I think about the world "Nurture" that seemed to pick me last year at this time of  year.  Though it was what I needed as of learning to taking care of self and others and giving back in ways my heart didn't want to budge but it has.   Darn I say the emotional pain was so great that there was nothing to do but change...most times kicking and screaming.  

When a word keeps appearing or showing up in conversation this time of year I pay attention.  I've already decided on the word for 2024 and it will be "Expand."   

So I've typed my words and my fingers will be sore later, no not really but it is a time of year where the contemplative gal wants to come out.  And as the morning wakens the fog has moved in and the sight of the trees and moon reminds me of the bigger perspective.   I see also how the willow tree has grown from the left over crown making moments of childhood weaving.   I remember tossing them out there as offering them back out to the place where the girls gather them and look at how it has blessed us with another one.  The big one that they gathered it from had to be cut down some time ago for the basin to take its place.  On the edge its spirit still grows.  

Out of protection, fear of hurting more, I know I  become defensive and ridged.  flip side or shadow side some may say.  I have read to be more like the willow tree and bow and bend to the challenging winds of life.  Soak in the waters and welcome the sun and danced with the wind should be what I carry with me instead of what I've carried in the past. This is a good orderly direction are where to expand is an opportunity and greater spiritual growth.