Reflect on this year-Pain

Tough topic to share about, Pain-doing the Hard stuff

This year the experience of Pain in so many forms was felt or pushed aside and denied. So many ways we reacted to it and all acceptable for the individual.  Eventually though a point comes when you must face it.  I know many times I was praying that the Greater Spirit in my life would help me with my hurt. Guide me through.  My understanding of Pain is a part of our range of emotions. We don't wish on anyone and it's so hard to witness someone in pain and not want to help or fix it for them. Our connections to help are strong because we can only relate to others in this instant from the pain we felt.  

Dignity to feel our emotions is a big one and this year has brought that whole concept front and center for me. As crazy as it sounds the pain/hurt lets me know I'm alive and what is real and not. 

• No problem lasts forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of our lives it may seem, whatever we experience in this ever-changing life is sure to pass. Even Pain.  This I know to be true. Though there were many moments of pain this year and they've all passed, some easier than others. 
• Learning to put my problems in their true perspective and they will lose the power to dominate my life.    That's some hard work on my part to get to this point of attitude. That's Grace and Space.  Stepping back and looking from a different angle then our own level. Hard to stop reacting to the pain, it hurts, and we want it to stop. A walk in the woods is a good source of medicine for me. 
• Difficult situations often bring out qualities in us that otherwise might not have risen to the surface, such as courage, faith and our need for one another. All our experiences can help us to grow. This year for me was about transformation and that word I heard many times throughout the year. So without realizing it we all were on the same ride in some form or another.  The attitude of how we see things, perspective wise can help us see it as a positive energy in our lives, the pain and hurt that is.  I have a fuller range of emotional experience that I ever have and I feel more alive because of it.  Crazy as that sounds but a truth is there.  
• Some hurts can not be healed quickly. They must be given time. In the meantime, we can appreciate the new capabilities we are developing, such as the capacity to mourn and the willingness to accept. Let us share our losses and triumphs with each other, for that is how we gather courage. 
• This too shall pass can make it easier to get through a difficult day. Being gentle with ourselves during this time is a selfless gift. Extra loving care and attention to ourselves can make everything a little easier. Emotions aren't meant to last long, we are to move through them, as a flow like the wind blowing a willow tree.  Sounds like a fantasy, but the truth this year has taught me to head in through like going through a tunnel...a Tunnel has an entrance and an exit.  To really feel means we might look like and feel like we are losing it.  Stepping on the Crazy town bus and riding it.  Yes, that is it but the thing is the bus does stop and we have to make the choice to get off and accept the reality.  Hard stuff.  Hard stuff means I'm really stretching all that I have in me.  And later I will still for some soreness...but I will be better for myself that I have fully experienced my life. Being in this RAW state is about being Real, Awesome and Whole...and that's not for the ego that's for my well being. 
• They say that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. If I learn to accept that pain is part of life, I will be better able to endure the difficult times and then move on, leaving the pain behind me. Pushing a baby out was doing something hard and there is much pain involved. I did it four times.  Sounds insane, right but the beauty of each has been so awesome. We don't wish pain, but it is there...hanging on to that pain is suffering and reliving it, is about staying stuck in the muck.  I've had some childhood stuff that I personally stayed stuck in. I didn't know how to deal with the pain at a young age.  I just kept reliving it, letting it fester and re-hurt...I think they call that resentment.  "When we long for life without...difficulties, remind us that Oak grows strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure." Peter Marshall 
• Maybe our lives have taught us that it was best not to hope for anything. The lessons were too painful-getting excited about something only to have our hope shatter.  I know this well; I think most kids do...our wants exceed our needs.  But what do we know as kids? Carry that into adulthood and that's called expectation and disappointments.  Dare I say we've all experienced that. Or as time passes and hope diminish, we could fall deeper into despair. Eventually shutting down all feelings and refusing to care or to hope for anything at all.  Where do you turn to?  At this point one may need help from therapy and something bigger. 
• Spirituality allows us to believe that there is every reason to hope. With a source of something bigger than Ourselves we can feel fully alive in the moment and enjoy this feeling.  This is hard stuff too. The painful lessons of a lifetime are not unlearned overnight, but we can learn that it is safe to feel, to hope, even to dream and love again. There is no guarantee that we won't feel pain again, that just wouldn't be life.  It's part of the range of emotions and feelings that bring us our wholeness. Trying to protect myself from pain, I could cut myself off from the many delights that life has to offer. I will live more fully today.  "Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul." Samuel Ullman 
• Support, pain can get to the point of almost not being able to stand it.  Time to call for Help. That can be the hand to lift you up and help you through a crisis, but that is only the beginning. Recovering from pain is still an individual journey. Sometimes the greatest growth comes through pain, but it's not the pain that helps one to grow, it's our response to it.  Will I suffer through the experience and continue as before or let the pain inspire changes that help me grow? The choice is mine. Look for opportunities for growth in every situation. This attitude allowed me to gain many spiritual riches from the pain I was experiencing. Again, Hard stuff to do.  But doing it again each time continues my journey of wholeness. Being a Full-time person in our life is work.  No slacking, always opportunities to build muscles, mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical.
• I find it painful to watch another person suffer or head down a road I believe leads to pain. Many of my attempts to rescue others have been prompted by my desire to avoid this pain in me.  To rescue is a way of stealing someone's dignity. The right to have the range of wholeness they need. Learning to experience my own fear, grief and anguish helps me to be willing to trust the same growth process in others, because I know first-hand about the gifts it can bring. 
• Mostly it's about keeping my hands off and turning my heart on. 
• A big practice I've used is this, I will adjust myself to what is and not try to adjust everything to my own desire. I will take my "luck" as it comes and fit myself to it.

Such pain witnessed and rides of anxiety, right alongside each other to such growth and amazing richness with little special moments of pure joy.  Honoring this year, I honor my pain and all that it brings with it and I know I can get through with trust and hope in a bigger spirit than I.  

I plan on printing this out and burning it tomorrow on the first day of a new year as I begin again. 

Thank you for reading. 

~v~Laura 

 

(the words here are a collaboration of many and my own experience.)