Reflection on a few days and gearing up for the new year....

Old Field Oaks 

 Two days ago I head out to the woods, had list a mile long. My lists are the jobs or agenda for the day and I try to accomplish them each day.  There's some daily stuff that goes on there but then there's always a bigger project.

I need to walk,  walking sets me back into my rhythm.  The holidays which were calm, simple and peaceful have pulled me out of my routine and as simple as it all has gone and grateful for it I do need my routine.  I think it's the solitude time that I need the most.  It felt so good to be out and about, the forest preserve guys has been out there cutting down some of the trees close to the path that might be a dangerous thing later on if a storm happen upon us.  You can tell by the fire scares and the burnt logs.   What a beautiful moment that not even this photo captured...it was more spiritual for me then anything else.

This Elder here I've seen for many years, in fact two years ago there were to younger gentlemen walking all over the forest floor looking for antler from this buck.   They are usually larger but from my understand they hit their peek and then as the age gracefully the lose their impact...thus the circle of life... He's right side has seen some battles or he might have been born with some defect.  His right eye sloops down almost sad like and the antlers on that side our considerable smaller and a bit deformed.  He almost walked in front of me but hesitated and then turned and ran off.   The Deer is my Native American totem under their horoscope signs, though I'm a crow at heart.  I feel a close kinship when I see them though...After our little moment I headed down the path to the bridge and stretched out the muscles that have not been use to walking in the snow and with heavier hiking boots on. Reflected on how I don't want to let this activity drop from my weekly routine...I so need my walks in the woods, center, balance, and a spiritual connection...I pray not to lose that.  That means I've got to show up and put the feet to work...

Well now for the past couple of years,  I followed a trend of..."Pick a word of the Year" and how wild that works in your life and then for years afterwards too. Seems I've done a good job of putting 2012's away and can't find it now...silly me. But I have last years word which honestly was so awesome to use.  I've had that in my life all along but I became more in tune with it.  This year I went for two, Can't you do that? Can you have two words?  I don't know but I'm taking the risk.   Some may ask how do you pick a word?  I think I have to share that the word picks you.  I've been getting hints since October but really stronger towards the end of November and for sure all through this month.  So I contacted The Queen of Arts Studio to see if I could put my order in....and then at the last minute I jumped on the R.A.W one...which if you've been reading my blog for a bit of a time you would know what that stands for but if not I'll let you know...Real, Awesome, Whole.   As I babble on you can see my morning pages underneath and I share them because I really can't read them but I know what came out and how I'm feeling now about venturing out in the day.

The word Acceptance I believe has come at a time in my life when I need to "stop the struggles" the mental struggle that take up space in my hamster wheel of my head.  Some my know this place, where you go round and round and get no where fast or you go round and round on something you want changed or see that it should be one way or another....I want to work at stopping that, so asking myself how to do that I received some insight as I might need to accept things the way they are more often, which mean cutting out the judgement and letting it be....and not picking it up and trying to change things to my liking.   With any kind of changes I'm finding that you have to believe, or fact it till you make it, I know kind of weird,  give and take thing.  I believe in the change and I'm going to work with it by using the understand of the word Acceptance. The effect of that I believe will be the results of being RAW, me coming into a point in my life where I can be Real and Awesome(more accepting of my imperfect self) and whole because of the personal journey I'll go through to get a new perspective of it all.  

Tile flooring found for my bathroom, looks like old bard wood. 

Now my life has been in a bit of wonderful chaos. I have to share because I totally understand what I've been missing for along time...I grow up in homes that were always in the state of under-construction or remodeling.  And when I met my husband and we got together and married the only kind of home we would be able to swing was one that needed our tender loving care. So we found out little 25ft x 25ft  cape cod home and then bumped out and up to about 2800 square feet . We started this back in 1991 after the twins were born, now 22.    No more babies in dress drawers or cribs stacked on top of each other...So almost 29 years ago we begin the venture of remolding and going under....construction.  This kind of venture can put some couple in divorce court, but because of good girl scout skills and life time of living in the under...construction mode we are still comfortable living that way. Now I am creative but not with a hammer, tape measure and saw...that is one of many of the husbands skills.  Let say he took a brake from this all for a while, I think because finally all the kids got a room and he was wanting and itching to build a chopper, which he did by the way...

The Husband, Randy wearing his Viking hat his oldest daughter Stevie made for him two years ago for his birthday. 

and here he is....made the center fold of the Horse magazine...three years ago I think....see when he takes a break and decides to build something else no stopping him...

But now the need to get this home finished because we both want to work on our retirement plans...which is a new big garage for him and me slipping into the attached garage so I might be able to teach classes and workshop really close to home....just down a few steps and in to the studio space.  Then we will work in our areas till the day we die happily creating  to our hearts content.

As this year ends...I feel empowered about the year coming around...something about believing and believing as if it's going to be that excites the pants off me...no not really but I get all passionately gear up.  and with this all going on the husband and I are reconnecting on a different level which has been missing for a long time as I share earlier...we might be destine to be under construction for the rest of our lives but it's one imperfection RAW deal.. Laughter so deep the belly hurts is going on and it's the language of the heart I understand.

Off to Denny's for breakfast this morning....the Viking is buying....