Second to the last week...in Walking in this World

Moving on into Week 11
a Sense of Authenticity

In the end, artist's life is grounded in integrity and the willingness to witness our version of truth. There are no set markets that assure us of safe passage. This week focuses on personal responsibility of our creative caliber and direction. Self-Respect lies in the doing, not the done. For this reason, our personal resiliency is a key to our creative longevity. Defeat is transformed into experience by our willingness to start anew. The readings and tasks of this week ask us to practice a beginner's ind, opening ourselves to renewed endeavors despite setbacks.

Encouragement... As artists, we routinely tap an inner well, and that well is fed by our spiritual condition. When we have kept our spirit carefully nurtured , the creative waters seems to flow easily. When our spirit is dried out with unacknowledged discouragement, our inner well runs dry.

Julia shares...the antidote to depression is laughter, and this is where we are blessed if some of our friends have a good, bleak sense of humor. 

The uncomfortable fact remains that there is always one positive thing we can do-and , damnably, there is always some positive something even thought we may still not have the heart to do it. We have to admit that our discouragement is as on wag puts it, " a dirty job, but one that we have volunteered for. dammit."

There are some impeccably tried -and- true cheer -er uppers that most of us are loath to try. it is, for example very difficult to back a pie and remain suicidal.  it is hard to be depressed and make Vegetable soup.

Making almost anything can keep us from making trouble and , since most of us intuitively know this, we may take to our bed, giving our discouragement full rein to MUG US...Well I've had days like that, more so then I've ever had...with the hormonal changes...I call it being a slug...but like the wording of feeling like it mugs us, well I should say me not us.  When I'm caught up in a slug thinking it's usually when I've gone and overate...or loaded on the sugar or the whites...but that's for a different program..

All artists get discouraged. All artists have deep inner wells of self-pity into with we periodically dive. all artist are doing better than someone else and worse than someone else. all artists are doing better today then they have in the past and worse than they will in future. All Artists specialize in self-doubt. It is how we hone the creative imagination.....

Well it really doesn't matter and maybe it does. But the case of self-doubt is always upon me..and for those that have been trailing along my path for years would say when is she going to see or get it...how can I say this it's just part of the wardroom.

We can not control everything and everyone in our creative environment. We cannot leap across the dinner table and muzzle the fellow guest who casually observes, " At your age, you must be facing the fact that many of your dreams won't come true".. We cannot-or, at least , we do not hire hit men to take him out for murdering our hope, but that is what an offhand remark can do, especially if we are not alert to flag it as it passes.   And we seldom are, "Let it go," we may say only to have it go underground. When it does, it's poison.

Courage" comes from the root coeur, heart. It is easy to tell if you have been discouraged if you check the emotional timbre of your heart. If you feel vaguely blue, a little cross, a bit grumpy, odds are you are "disheartened," meaning discourage. 

It is well worth it to sleuth a bit, to assume there is a cause for your discomfort instead of saying "I'm crazy. What's the matter with me?"  Very often, What's the matter?" is an ignored injury, however slight. 

You have dragged home a invisible bone, the trophy of all you hard work lies on the floor unnoticed and unapplauded.  for some reason I can't help but think of the movie with Jackson Pollock and having his family out to the house in the country, and the family totally ignoring him...

If no one else is cheering us on, we must cheer ourselves on with tokens of our esteem for work well done.

There is and was a lot more to this section of the week 11 but a bit heavy,  what I gather is how I am thinking about things...and that I do have the power to change things that I can and that being said it would be the way I perceive things...I can chose to take it with and allow to mug me..or turn me into a slug that is a blob of discouragement and depression cause that's the easy way out...or I can take heart-Courage and celebrate my small achievements and treat myself well and know that there's a bigger picture that I can't see just yet but if I stick with it more will be revealed.

Julia ask in the task work to quickly write out 50 things your heart loves...walking in the woods by myself, watching the birds feed at the feeder by the kitchen window, seeing the sand hill cranes fly over, watching a group of crows flock to a tree or explore a back yard, watching a hawk soar the sky. watching my family share in discussion, seeing my husband comeback from a motorcycle ride. having a great day in the studio, cooking a good meal and having the whole family home. Laughter in the house.  and the list can go on, but this was a quick response to what she asked.