Week 8 of Walking in this World...keep demons at bay.

Well this week couldn't have come at a better time for me on a bit of a growth step again...thank God I prayed to never go stale...and I'm on a continual journey of progress and process.

What does Discernment mean...

The act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment.

What does Fame mean...
The condition of being well known or much talked about; great reputation.

The real trap of fame is its irresistibly.— Ingrid Bengis.
As I stated before...my way of learning something is through repetitiveness...I've got to have it coming in a couple of different ways or repeat many times and then put it into use right way or it doesn't become concrete and I don't retain it as well...kind of jumbled up mess in the head but with some struggle I can break things down in fragments and use it when I need it.  

So when I started reading this section of the week 8 this morning I was kind of blown away..fore warning you it's going to be a long post... 

Making Art, Not "Making it"
As some foods are triggers for overeaters like me for some artist fame is a trigger food, or can be.  When fame is sought for itself, we always will want more, more and more. When it occurs as the by-product of our work-which it does and often will-then it is more easily metabolized. But we must stay focused on what we are doing, not how.

When we are in the midst of making something, in the actual creative act, we know we are who and what we we are because we forget our public reception for a minute. We become the art itself instead of the artist who makes it.  In the actual moment of making art, we are blessedly anonymous. Even when done in public the act of making art is a private act. Creativity is always between us and our creative energy, us and the creative powers working through us. When we are able to stay clearly and cleanly focused on that, then we are able to do very well.

Staying in this frame of mind is a goal of mine..

Ex: an actor forgets that when they aren't working they can write monologue, a one person show or learn to play piano, watercolor or create in clay.  When we insist that we will express our creativity on only one field, or even one corner of one field, we lose sight of two things, our versatility and our opportunity. We tend to isolate and to brood, resentful over not being appreciated, resentful over not being chosen when we can actually make choices of our own that put our creative power, if not our "career, squarely back in our hands.

It is difficult to be depressed and in action at the same time.
If we are really serious about our art, then we need to be serious about making - not about being perceived as "a serious artist." 

Self-respect lies in the writing and the playing, not in the reviews. 
There is a point where I'm standing that I have to separate the promoting and being in the public eye or social media eye to keep things moving forward...it kind of comes easy but it's not something I enjoy doing more so it's part of process to get to the class room where I enjoy the teaching and sharing experience...which is not what and were my main focus is it be in the Public eye all the time but it sure seems like it don't it?

Public Eye... tells us the danger of focusing on "how am I doing? instead of "What am I doing?"

addressing the demons...When making art becomes about making a career and making a profit-not that we don't enjoy those as benefits-then making our art is someone else's responsibility, not our own. We need a "lucky break," we say. We fall into talking about the way it is in the business," and the odds against us, and the next thing that happens is that we feel powerless and depressed and mad- mad because we're not 'making it" fast enough. And we don't mean art.

This is where this morning journal writing came in handy as I was spilling out on the pages about being advised to get out there more and take some good advice from reputable people to submit my work to some well know places and I actually blew them off or lets be honesty. One of the places I submitted over 6 years ago and never heard from them, not even an letter and the other place I just didn't think I wanted to do it...Well got my ass in gear at the last minute and resubmitted a packet for a possible one person show in 2012-2013 year...which I was grateful for doing that and thankful  for stern push that way...but there was a part of me that feel like all that was advice from these well meaning artists wasn't being true to authenticity self and lately that is more important to me then getting in the fame seen...though mind you it may seem that way I try to balance the humble reality of my life first.

OK so here it is...I've been asked am I afraid of  o be success...?  at one point when asked that I said Yes...cause in my eyes/mind success means being famous and being famous is being unapproachable. so big that you can't be around the common folk and be at peace and relate...and that's who I would like to have my art on their wall is people like myself..

Story time...Julia shares from week 8...

Clarence was a talented musician, so talented that "big things" had always been predicted for him. He played for "big names" on "big albums" and was always on the verge of his "big break" A chronic dissatisfaction that "it"- the really big break hadn't happened yet kept Clarence from every noticing and enjoying the many marvelous and exciting things that did happen. 

His life looked glamorous from the outside but felt glamour-less on the inside.  He didn't play music for the joy of it.  He played it to impress a producer or to rack up another Grammy nomination.

The well advised ones have been suggesting that I might look at the time I'm putting in places verse what I would get if I went bigger...??? this is the big question for me "is going bigger what I want?" and where I'm to be going or doing?  I know those that see feel there might and is more for me at a larger level but again...is that being true to me? or just my excuse?

Back to the story...Clarence caught himself thinking, there has to be more.  And it was at this point that he saw the flyer calling for parents to help with the school pageant...Dare I say more?

Clarence reconnected to the joy that had made him an artist in the first place. He again came in contact with the generous part of himself that spilled out into music and self-expression. His art became about making something instead about "making it"

He now makes time every year for the children's music pageant. It gave him back the gift of giving by putting the "heart" back into his art. 

This is why I commit myself to some kind of project to help the LaGrange Art League have a little fun..such as the Paper bundle project...the Make your Mark Journal Project and then next one is the Creative Prayer Flag Project..

Some might say that's a waste of time and talent and we see bigger things for you and where you going..Heck as I say this I think about what I potential see and say to my young adults...but then I'm reminded that they will get to where their suppose to be going with good orderly direction of their own and that to have a little fun  a long the way and be with others is what's it's all about...not "Chasing the Fame Train"

Told you this was going to be a long one..

Julia continues...Focusing on the success as a business goal, we often lose sight of success in terms of our personal spiritual well-being. We focus "out there" rather than on our own inner experience. Doing that, we can become lost. 

For myself this year I'm pumping the workshop and classes and exhibiting opportunities mainly because of the fine art of collage and keeping it out there for people to see that it is an art form..so keeping balance is the spiritual seeking I'm looking to reach...some may not see that in that light but it' doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things does it?   I seek a bit of guidance every day to do the next right thing..and the next right thing my not be what well advised like minded people see for me but I'm only answering to a higher presences in my life that's has a bit more pull of things I feel then just well advised ones...and having some personal integrity and staying true as of to your authentic self may make you look as thought you don't care about the important information some one gave you...

Being comfortable in my own skin and more at home with myself...can that be a goal?  sure it can and so easily I can be swayed but outside influence...so staying in check with myself with my morning journal writing is my grounding, my humble begins for the day.

Sharing this..Joy is the woman's name...She enjoys the process of making her art and finds "making it" a happy coincidence, not her goal. "Once I let go of my idea that making art was about making it, meaning fame, I began to make the art I wanted to make and that gave me something that looks an awful lot like the life I always wanted to have"   Living the dream is what I call it.

When we are focused on making a career in the arts, we often forget that our artful nature is a gift we can bring to the personal as well as the professional realm. We write for a living but do not take the time to write letters to our friends. We draw for a living but use our artistic skill only on paid commissions. Hobbies are out the window as "too frivolous," and we focus seriously on our art, we become very serious indeed. 

We don't need to devote years, months, days, or even hours to a connection project, but it is often true that art made from the heart leads us to more and more art. As we free ourselves from our "get serious" mold. we often encounter new energies and new interests. When art become a part of our greater life, we often discover greater life in our art. 

so that's why I can't help myself  sometimes when I have this ideas and have to carry them out such as the Make your Mark project....it's about all that I've shared above...and so hard to explain sometimes when you might hear from well meaning people that it was excuses for not going larger or bigger with where they think I should head...

Honey I don't want to lose out on the biggest part of living the dream and that's what I'm doing right now with my life... I am  so grateful they pushed me to realize this and also to submit to a possible one person exhibiting opportunity for the future but growing to big for my pants isn't the goal I had in mind... sometime when you think that what people point out you should look at or change is really a good thing as it makes you take a look at who you are and where your really to be heading and living your life..

Ok time to go and have a good homestead day and play in my studio...go a new piece layed out and ready to go.. as of tacking that baby down..