My Art Tribe meeting

Don't know if I was willing for a change in my attitude or it just came in.... I've been in a bit of slump in my thinking department.  Be it the down time I'm taking with no classes for the summer or what but I sure did need a jolt of inspiration and good old fashion energy.   I joined a group of women back three years now and they've been meeting for over 11 years..It's always hard to join a group especially a group of women artist with all their specialities...big intimidation issue for me with the hidden self doubt a dose of low self esteem.  I question and second guess if this is a group for me to be in.. I'm not a drinker, or one that stays up late..so that's something not in common and then I'm still loaded with many young adults still living in the homestead ..there's a lot more activity then most of them have.. I have to admit I would go each time wondering if I would go back..I was always picking out things I wasn't sure about...as if I was to fit into this group..but each month the date would come around and I was doing  the fencing thing..should I go or shouldn't I.. And I would go..with my attitude of if I fit in.. As I write this out I think how pathetic... But I do battle with low self-esteem now and then...And being an artist, I'm in a place where this happens a lot..I wish it didnt' but when I make a piece of art, honestly yes I wish it to sell but with the economy it's has me guessing and questioning from time to time...and wondering is this the directions?  Well I have to say it was wild, exciting and full of major laughing something I've not done with a group of women or a group of people in along time..a bonding happen last night that I will be part of and I will remember the moment and we will talk about it later...just like they talk about things they all did way back as a group...I know I was excepted long ago.. but last nights meeting was a bit different... it was great and My doubting Attitude is restored.  I know I might share the day to day with you all but this was a big deal for me, I feel like a young teen growing through this but as you get older it's harder to make friends and trust new relationships because of things good and bad that happened in my/your past.  So as I ramble along being who I am in this life's journey finding out more and more about myself with the my passion in the arts.. If I didn't have a creative outlet to turn to even in times of doubt I think I'd be wear a white coat with straps in the back instead of the front.. thanks all for listen to me..