Tuesday, April 03, 2018

When will it be enough?

From the beginning of the year I feel that I've been multi-tasking to the high heaven's.

I've had to turn away a few opportunities too.  I was sharing my thoughts about turning opportunity down, I was told I was really doing a good job of checking in on my own morals and values.
Oh, what are they? 
Morals and Values these days, do we respect them within ourselves?
I'm thankful for sharing at this point because it was what I needed to hear. Making choices from a place of the Heart not the Head.

It's hard some times being some who likes to be creative with their hands, makes things for the decoration of other's walls.  You make it because their something in you that calls out, you answer to it. But after that the truth is you have no idea when, or what will happen to that creation.  The grace of this whole process is if someone likes the artwork you created on intimate level, it could mean they get it, something in you the artist and what you've expressed. A connection was made.

I know art is very moving for some people, almost to the point of, "You have to have this piece of art, it just speaks to your soul." Dramatic yes,  that's the way I purchase a piece art.   It has to really speak to me, and I don't worried if it matches anything in my home.  I think that's the difference in purchasing from a department store, rather then from an artist or at their exhibit.  Oh I know I'm opening a can of worms here on this subject but just sharing my little opinion on it.  Art is an investment in your own quality of life.

Where am I going with this...?   Back to being an "Artist and multi tasking my brains out."   What needs to get done first?  How much time will I have?  A large amount of pressure seems to be weigh on my mental state.  Will my mind, wordy bits be there for me when I need to write up an artist statement?  Is this an anxiety attack? I'm I going to Crash? I feel like I'm going to Pop, yikes.... I'm getting to old for this stuff?   Slow down do one thing at a time and complete it....Oh, God sure you do that, I yell at myself in my head.  So.....sound familiar?  On some level it should...it's a job, a life's Vocation and with it come a good history of events that feed the art in my life.

Some my wonder...
I don't I grab on and hold on tight. Uncertainty part of the suit case I carry around, then some calm...an earthly grounded feeling takes over. Gratitude that I am as I am a working artists.  When I have a health attitude about life and my art practice things still have an air of excitement and a bit of healthy drama, I  see my part of this great wonder and become part of the mystery. 

Wonderful human beings, I've meet wanting to add this same creative enjoyment in their lives, like a magnet we gravity to each other.  We connect in with ideas, insight and intuitiveness that's totally amazing.  So as I ramble about life, creativity and what ever else pops up. The main things I do pray about is to be kept working, have purpose in my life and feel fulfilled.  If I stop long enough in a white spaces of life....I can see that I do have it all, a good life full of daily and yearly changes, health, love of family and friends.  I like to keep things real and raw...you know the imperfect kind of  perfect sort living.  Some gnarly bits with dash of blessings. Makes for a Life Salad.

I'll be looking back upon the last few months, saying at the end of the year that I'm totally amazement that I made it through.  Growth is happening, in my art and my life. Yes I'm getting older but life is so much more richer to live now, greater meaning then ever before.   Some growth sides inching up faster than others.  Keeping it on a daily practice of checking in on my heart space, I might be swayed way off track and that could have some consequences and a be hard to come back from.  No one want so fall to pieces physical, mentally or spiritually but it happens and what I'm learning is it's a big part of life...pick yourself back up and be resilient, feel it, embrace it and grow with it....the coyote is the best example I know.

I depend on a strong spiritual base to keep myself grounded and calm. Like cooking a bit of this and a bit of that....which isn't always in tack nor perfect by far.   I  hear those that are going towards a saner life may have a tendency to look a bit crazed it's bound to happens with the level of scheduling and uncertainty that goes hand and hand with where this art might be going.  The truth on this all is as long as you keep going and moving forward even if it's only a true inch, life has a way of meeting you.  I've had many examples of that.

And in meeting you it could be with new opportunities and like minded people...it's important to have a support others that connect. It's a We kind of World not an I-island.

So why would you want to ramble on about stuff like this?  I'm coming out of an earthly dormant time, though growing intuitive underneath. But mainly for my own well-being.  Sound's a bit selfish but being able to see things in writing and share out worldly I don't drag the suit case around this way.

So if you want to grow....learn to check in daily, stay in more white space, and stop dragging around the suit case that brings you down....literally.  Figure out what is stopping the flow in your own life and un-damn it and let it flow. Note: this is a ongoing practice as things unearth themselves and create natural places that damn us up. It's not a one and done deal....nothing is.

quick morning sketch....an old suit case with just to much stuff...when will it be enough? 

The Weight of the World....

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Thank you for stopping by and viewing my collage chatter, many creative blessings and peace to you and yours,