Word ramble...the art of living life and Life with the unknown moments expressed with art.

Spent the good part of the day in the studio...putting things away and sorting through other things that have no need anymore in the small space I have to work. Opened up the back deck door of the studio and let dear Sophie out to hang around and roll in the sun of the day.

Created more papers for what I don't know...well that's not true...I do know but I don't know how it will end lets say. I'm approaching the abstract world more and really having some fun with the surface of the papers I'm making.

Taking all that I've explored and then creating some class/workshop lesson plans. This all took up pretty much of the whole day...lost in a good place.

The words loss, loneliness and grief have been making themselves present lately in my life.  I seem to be in a area of my life that this will be more present then every before. Sad as it is I fight with what is and want things to be what I want....time to do a bit of growing up and facing some reality.  A part of our lives is being able to adjust and be flexible to the dailiness.

Where do you go to find comfort with these emotions?...what do you  fill a void or hole with or do you fill it ? How have we been taught to deal with this?  I know I was taught with food but just in the past few years this has been present to me that it's a not a good road to travel any more...adjustment are made to work though some things that trigger this but what has been present is the feelings of loss and loneliness that seems to fall into having to learn how to grieve.  How are you taught to grieve...I wonder in America have we chosen to avoid and deny it?  Looking for a place to put blame of this might be what I'm doing now...but I have a feeling I'll be learning more about this all and I might start to accept these feelings as a normal as much as love, happiness and joy.

I know that by this awareness I might be going in the right directions...well for me it is, can't speak for others.  Now the next Question is how can you use this in a positive light instead of thinking it's bad and negative...which general means feelings of sad and hurts but it's not bad...I feel it has to do with the art of life and the balance we go through in living it...learning to pick up the right tools for the job might be a better way to look at it.  I know even journal writing, typing here and walks in the woods...sometimes all that still doesn't fill the loss and lonely feeling...might it be accept them just as they are and hope they will pass and when they do...one can be thankful for the moment they experience.

Rambling of chatter today... I know I'm going to be more aware of this aspect of my life and what I will do to deal with it.

I had a friend from long ago stop by which was such a needed moment and an answer to both our lives...her dealing with a sick mother of two year and all the sibling antics and caring for her father who is in good health...she and I shared some good chatter back and forth...After she left I went back up to the studio and assembled this piece and fused it on the wood panels.

Beach, 6 x 12 collage on watercolor paper and fused to the wood panel. I painted the wood panel with white acrylic paint. it's now drying with a good layer of satin varnish.  I'll bring it today when I present the demo for Ridge Art Association. 

Realizing as we shared the friend and I,  we were both in this place of expressing loss and loneliness and grieving different parts but we were able to share about the rich loving parts that pulled us through. I have this in very few close friends...that is the ability to be honest and open...meeting on this very vulnerable level. Almost a few tears were shed....Darn I say a moment of feel great loss a gift was presented...some one to share it what parts of life are difficult and other parts that are truely so loving it hurts just about the same way....I'll describe it as a RAW state, one of Real, Awesome and wholeness.