Friday, February 27, 2015

Flop to Flip side...

 Looking at it from the Flop Side

As usually I'm in my dither of anxiety  about this trip and what to expect....Being in the Unknown...they give you all instruction and lay out for you as best they can but still the not knowing  what to expect has me on High alert.   This is all to familiar territory I've been in this emotional state many times.

Then the distorted thinking steps in...."Oh you won't sell anything"   "Your doing all this work and for what?"  "No one will like what you have"

Why does our brain and our thinking go here...or is just me.  I know it's not just me.  People can say things like Oh that's not true...and their right. The thing is it's in my head and circling around and picking up speed with more words to feed it energy.

I almost need a good Jolt or a slap in the back of the head....Where's Gibbs when you need him.  And I've shared about this on the blog before...I remember.

I've had people tell me that I shouldn't be feeling this way and to have more confidence in ourselves.

Here's what  I know...if I feel bad now then when later it happens all this comes to a climax so to say then if it doesn't go well then I've prepared myself for it...and It won't hurt so bad.  Does this make sense.  Controlling the outcome.  The false sense of control of the unknown part and faking it with this Bull - Crap of distorted thinking. Where's the head doctor...Yikes.

Flip Side
Now this morning in my morning pages I've flip flopped from side to side on this...I know once I'm in my element and with my apron on I'm going to do all right.   I have a fanny pack to wear or my apron with some big pockets up front for me to put my selling tools in; pen, sale book, change, haven't decided which will be better. It's a Garage Sale my gosh...

I have my husband coming with me this time to help with unloading and loading.  Though it can be challenging its still a good time to share this together. I've done my foot work,  prepared as much as I can.  My hopes are that most of the collage work goes.  What's the hardest is, it's my older stuff I'm not working in that style of collage...My head wants to say there mistakes but my heart knows they were my babies, the place I started off and have grown from. There is some resemblance for sure to the newer works but when I look at the earlier works...I really need so see the progress I've made with the directions I've been headed...Now that's from the heart... not from the head...I think there's a Sheryl Crow song.."Out of our Heads and in to our Hearts" My Mantra today...

This all passes all this gunk that circles around...and then on to the next good deed on the block of forward motion. Some times it's not so bad and others well not proud if it but it is what happens.

Some may think Why would you  post again about this same stuff...well because I have to work through it and part of working through it is sharing and realizing what I'm going through.   Do I like this when it happens no...I try to have control of it but some times it bigger then me and I have no control.  I know I will have a big sigh of relief and gratitude by the tons on the ride home Saturday night...I'm already thankful Randy will be driving. 

Right now I'm allowing the Good Orderly Direction of the day to be my guide...and all things will be well and good.

Self Confidence 

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Thank you for stopping by and viewing my collage chatter, many creative blessings and peace to you and yours