Monday, December 23, 2013

One just never knows.....regaining some self back

So the Daily Om- Horoscope shared that I would be talking and doing some relating and reminiscing with family and friends....and I was in the mode of God's got a plan for me in my morning pages of journal writing seeking some good orderly guidance.  Intentionally I had wanted to make some Thank You cards for a few people and start to build a palette of larger papers for my next piece with some much needed play time in the studio.  I wasn't connecting well to the message of the Daily Om horoscope.  (thinking to myself...this really isn't in my plans today)

Then I got a phone call and My neighbor was in a fright, here words were not clear she asked me to take her to emergency....(Oh my God, I was in panic mode)...I told her Ok let me get dress and I'll be there, can you give me 15 minutes or do you need to call an ambulance? No she was Ok for me to take her...

I will make this short....9:30am-1:30pm I sat with her....talking and sharing tidbits as she went through the blood being drawn and waiting for tests to come back...then she's was feeling better after a bag of good stuff they give you and was popping out of bed running out of the room to chase a nurse to go home. (I truly think, she's not eating right or sleeping she's so skinny and says food doesn't taste right and she feels like she's hungry but can't eat)  Then she hinted for some McDonald's Pancakes...that's what she said she would like...I had to share with her that they stopped serving breakfast... but she was hungry so got her some cookies and coffee....At this time we were waiting for them to release her...the EM doctor got mad at her because she was yelling at him from her bed that she wanted her test results back...The whole experience was a bit wild in extreme's.  She is afraid to drive and I've been kind to drive her a few times...Like today to the dentist and then home but I had to call her son and put a stop to my helping...Now mind you if it was my family any one of my mom's I would continue. 

I came in and called her son who's not in the best shape to take care of her....soap drivers licenses and continues to still drink...and wonders why things are not working out and the nasty people giving him problems....blah..blah...blah, blame, blame, blame....crazy and toxic... I feel for her and all... but she's got a daughter in Arizona...I'm not her daughter and don't want the responsibility put on me the neighbor.  So told the son on the phone what happen while I was with her and told him, I  will take her to the dentist but after that He will have to help her figure this out...I can't anymore.  It's not my business to be tending this, it is his.   Right/Wrong I'm being tugged but I made a choice and put it into action other wise I don't sleep and my day's are consumed with her needs. 

My family was upset that I was the chain reaction from this all is way to much....what it is, is this...the fear of me helping and something happening to her and then her family coming down on me.. to great a risk for me right now and this is bigger then I can handle, I know this, the gut is sharing it big time with me....and I'm finally listening.

No one likes to be in either situation as an elder needing help or a neighbor being asked to help and not knowing boundaries with this all...God help the human race as we age....

So after the phone call to her son,  I had a some lunch and then the husband asked If I wanted to go with him to visit his Aunt and Uncle....hesitated-couldn't really think, still a bit confused, I said yes, thinking about my horoscope and being with family and talking about the old days kind of stuff I thought there you go....fulfilling the plan today on both sides of the spectrum.  His Uncle has Cancer and they are really specially people and we enjoy their company a lot...My husband ended up trying to help them with computer problems, (he loves to help) and I watched the AX men show with is Uncle and listened to story about his old days. He's a real good story teller.

No one knows what they'll be called to help with and how it will all work out and what is best...
I will continue to be a good neighbor today and help her....because I said I would, what kills me is I hope I can learn a lesson to get things in motion before hand...but I doubt that, how can one really know.

Talk about a life sapper, snatcher and over all creative blocker....I now understand what others are going through....maybe I was meant to see this never knows. Well see today it's a Monday and I've got my afternoon schedule for a Tack Down Tuesday session...and what comes out will come out there, praying it is guidance of some balance and regaining some self back....


  1. I agree that you need to step back. As you say, if it was your parent then it is a no brainer. You do what you have to do. Is there a social worker you can contact who can take over? Perhaps call social services and see what you can do. It is all I can think of, but you mustn't let it take over your life. Or it will.

    1. Thanks Roberta for your support, I do have a friend that has connection to the Senior service after the holidays I'll get in contact with her and see what is available that I can pass.


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