Monday, August 05, 2013

Spilling it out on the table like glass of milk

In honor of Midlife and the between stages...."White flower Moon" All the animals are awake but winter is not done yet, still fitting to have one more heavy snow.  24 x 24 collage on canvas, prints available. 

With the Spiral and the cycle stamps I've been making I totally understand it's meaning and that for me it's about a issue or area that I need to look at that will come back in view and give me another chance for deep knowing as a results of it's visit. 

Oh I feel like I'm about to take a big walk a-bout here....What the heck nothing to loose I'm going for it mainly because it's areas that most don't talk about.

Recently the Husband and I went through a bout of something and let's call it a Shit-storm or a kindly, Midlife reflections....Eyes are open wide now and they were before but it just seems that things were all coming to the table and well they were and not in a bad way at a way to make change and see reality as it is.

Our parents now are struggling with the care of loved ones and this hurts to hear and see...but we are in no place to jump in and help...heck we will be here shortly too taking care of them, as the cycle goes.

Jobs that we both are in for many years are so uncertain that it weighs on ones soul and the people of authority that are suppose to be guiding us and are in charge are not doing a very good job, kind like not really human beings with any sort of compassion in them. I ask what the heck happened to them?

Weight of the Milk jug is hard to handle as we carry to the table. Change and facing some of the unpleasant area in our life is what it's about right now. 

I had a whole big email I sent to a dear Believing Mirror/friend...with the response of "I hear you...I feel for you and I know it will work all out.   That right there is faith not in one another that we will find the next right thing to move forward with.

I think we all met up with Milk spill now and then.  Some call it a spill others not sure where there going with it but I like to think of spill  as a bout of vulnerability.   Which I had to look that up to understand the meaning.  Open to hurt...why would you want to be open to hurt...we try to cover it up left and right so no one see us hurting or so we don't feel hurt.  Sign of weakness to show or feel hurt? Come on people.

So bet'cha   Well here's a hurt....working creating and expanding on some areas of a creative art career and nothing super famous but venturing out, taking risks and growing on all levels...then what happens is no human being can do it all and keep the plates spinning the whole time some areas will crash or not spin any more...and as a creative person  you have to take that risk and leave that plate on floor and spin the ones you can. it's loss/hurt from the creative stand point as much as from the other people/human being/family members you've been around. 

I venture out and loose touch...but the calling and opening of doors come and you walk through and advance to the next level of things,   growth?    Saying no to things you use to do and yes to things that seem to be giving you good orderly direction is what you say yes to...Still hurting at some level. 

And then you receive a few emails or phone calls or you workshop fills or an acceptance letter comes in and all your uncertainties and feelings of vulnerability steps aside while you wipe up the spilt milk and you see that it's only spilt milk.   Something a internet friend here just shared with me blog post helps sum things up....(thanks Sharon)

Growth is not easy and it's awkward and makes you feel like your spilling a glass of milk every where you go...and other don't get it or wonder what's wrong with you.  At any age we can go through growth and enter the doors of change where you will feel like there's some major uncertainty but the risk of moving forward out weighs the risk of staying stuck, stale or stagnate.   Life is short and we are only here a Nano second...I'm for taking the risk and spilling the milk again...

With spilling my milk to a few friends/believing mirrors and receiving in return  them just nodding their wonderful heads it given me the opportunity to stay open to creative solution to the areas in my life that seem a bit overwhelming and solutions are coming still not sure about them but trusting in the gut and hoping it will all wash out in the laundry...what a little soap and water can do even to milk on a rag.  Let's raise our glass of milk and honor great moments like this....growth steps.

After posting this I read my Native American morning meditations...

Elder's Meditation of the Day - August 5
"It is a paradox in the contemporary world that in our desire for peace we must willingly give ourselves to struggle."
-- Linda Hogan, CHICKASAW
The Grandfathers have taught us about sacrifice. We have been taught to pray for the people in a pitiful way. Struggle and conflict is neither good nor bad, it just is. Everything that grows experiences conflict. When the deer is born it is through conflict. When the seed first grows, it is through conflict. Conflict precedes clarity. Everything has the seasons of growth. Recognize - acknowledge - forgive and change. All of these things are done through conflict.
Great Spirit, give me the courage today to see that struggle and conflict are here to teach me lessons that are a gift from you.

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Thank you for stopping by and viewing my collage chatter, many creative blessings and peace to you and yours