Monday, February 06, 2012

This week Nine is a killer

Usually each week's chapter in this book Walking in this world has three session...but this week nine is loaded so I thought before I headed out I would touch base on a few more things. So before I get in this I just wanted to share my thoughts on Fear..Fear of the future and what will it be like as my spouse and I get older, fear that Our children won't be able to be happy in their lives.. Fear of worldly destruction..which if you look at the reality to that we are in it knee deep already. Then there's the question that was put upon me awhile back...Are you afraid of being successful?  good question but then I have to come back to what is my success in my life as what is the meaning of that.. Crazy as it sounds I like being able to be my little boss and set up classes, workshop and still be able to tend my home...homebody or a homesteader what ever..when I become to disconnected from that all,my family and home I don't function well...I need that staleness of it all..So when the fear seeps in, like when opportunities flash up that pull me away for my safety, my grounding, my security...I feel the fear of unknown...not sure I like that and not sure if I can handle it or know what to do...some would say if your in the right frame of mind and trusting of you higher presence, it will be now let me do my introspective work in week nine on Fear..

Fear most of us are afraid of fear. We think it's a bad thing. We know it's scary.  Because so many of our experience with fear have been negative, we fail to see fear as positive or useful.

Fear is a blip on the radar scree of our consciousness. Fear tells us "check this out"  it is something we catch out of the corner of our eye. Often it's a perception spoken by a part of ourselves that we have neglected and failed to attend. Ex: "I'm afraid I won't look professional enough," this fearful part insists. And it could be right. Fear asks that we check something for clarity. Fear requires action, not assurance.

As creative beings, we are intricate mechanisms. We have fine tuned sensing mechanisms that extend beyond the ordinary realm of five senses.   We wake up with a sense of anticipation and openness-spiritual attitudes we cultivate through Morning pages and artists dates. At other times, that very same openness brings to us a sense of foreboding. If we brought in to our lives that Fear is bad or unspiritual we will try to dismiss our fear without exploring it's message.

Don't feel that way" we will tell our fearful selves. "What's wrong with you?" By focusing on ourselves as a the probable source of anything "wrong" we blind ourselves to the possibility that there might, in fact be someone or something wrong in our environment. 
what this tells me is sometimes fear is there to help us see that the environment were are in isn't our gut telling us to look silly somethings not right here..

Our fears can truly be a messengers.

When fear enters our lives, it is like a mouse scurrying across the floor of our creative consciousness. did I Actually see something there, or was it a trick of the light? we wonder. In short respecting fear as a messenger, fear asks us to take a more accurate reading of our true perceptions to listen to all parts of our consciousness with care. As a rule of thumb Fear is never groundless. there is almost always some grounding action we can take in response to our fears. 

Often we are so quick to label our fears neurotic or ill based or paranoid that we do not ask what signal our fear is really sending.  When we feel afraid, tell yourself, "this is good not bad. This is heightened energy available for productive use. This is not something to medicate or meditate away. This is something to accept and explore." Ask yourself;
1. What signals is my fear sending me"
2. What affectionate name can I give to this messenger part of myself?
3. What grounded action can I take to respond to this fear?"

Many fears are based on simple lack of accurate information. Rather then taking a small exploratory action in a need direction-say, finding a new voice teacher or signing up for a computer class-we allow our fears to be the bogeyman who keeps us from entering the gates to our dreams. Each of us has fears that are particular to our own needs. When we listen to our fears with tenderness and care, when we accept them as messengers rather then terrorists, we can begin to understand and respond to the unmet need that ends them forward.  When we employ humor and tenderness to our fearful selves, then will often stop shaking long enough to deliver a need message.

Admit our fears and open the door..task work

Very often the most damaging aspect of our fears is the sense of isolation and secrecy that they breed in us. We are afraid and we are afraid to admit we are afraid., Closeted along with our fears, we forget that we are never alone, that we are accompanied at all times by a benevolent higher powers who has sympathy and solution for our problems. Julia ask us if working with fear like this to write out our affirmation prayer and make it from the part of already receiving the affirmatives...such as, I am guided carefully and expertly exactly on how to begin working on my new project. I am shown carefully and clearly each step to take. I am supported fully and happily in taking each step into fruitful work on this new project...well that was just want I need for a few projects I'm procrastinating on..I do fear getting ready for getting a proposal is a good fear as it does help me step back and look at it clearly and the move forward but a little help from the big man up stairs is something I forget to seek at times..

Writing in the morning pages about a fear and then writing an affirmative prayer out and then picking the most important part out and using it as a mantra is a great idea..."As of My fearful self is clearly guided"

next comes Restlessness...I know I've got a bad case of that.. So what I gathered from this is that fears are about facing my self with a realist approach and asking for help along the way as knowing I can't see it all played out and know every step that will or won't happen in my life so by seeking some prayer and affirmations I am inviting a little help from a friend in and snapping out of the isolation thinking of having to do it alone..then continue in that direction that seems most fitting...and when there's the times of fear as a wake up call to look and see if this is good or not then it becomes the positive in you life to also help guide you.. rambling I know..

1 comment:

  1. excellent, Laura. i have felt those feelings.

    i will read this again...


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