Saturday, February 11, 2012

Last part of week 9-Walking in this World

There has been some heavy stuff to read, and roll around with all good stuff but things that are so easily at other times just put aside for another day You know the tomorrow stuff...I'll do it tomorrow..

So the ugly word...Doubt but for a moment I'll look back at the first statement at the beginning of the chapter.. it's about dismantling myth of artist as superhero's, and surviving such emotions is accepting them as necessary and known and expectable part of the creative trail.

Touch base on Worry..Which we can learn to throw the switch that channels our energy out of worry and into invention.

Fear- is facing and action on what it is you fear in small steps...break it down and see it for what it really is.

Restlessness-as uncomfortable as it is, as unpleasant, even unbearable restlessness is a good omen. Change is on the way.

Insecurity-When we embrace the idea that all artists at all levels are still learning, still struggling, still evolving growing, and grappling with their craft simply at a different altitude, we are encouraged by another's mastery to know: "It can be done."

Self-Pity-is actually grounded in our own discounting of our self and our struggles. A good look at..."if this makes me feel so bad, what can I change?" And to remember self-pity is born from fatigue...

and now the last nasty word in any one's creative life is Doubt..

Doubt is a signal of the creative process.
 (process a continuous action, operation, or series of changes taking place in a definite manner:)
it is a signal that you are doing something right-not that you are doing something wrong or crazy or stupid. Creativity is a spiritual issue, and although we seldom look at this squarely, the creative life features the same spiritual obstacles as any other spiritual path. What we don't talk about often Julia adds is that fact that artist, too are spiritual seekers, and we frequently suffer the dark night of the soul regarding our creative callings.

We open ourselves to receive the energies required to manifest those question creativity.  This doesn't mean it is easy.

Doubt is a dangerous think as you aer leaping crag to crag about the artistic abyss. A well-placed doubt can send you tumbling. This type of anxiety sends an artist to a place of darkness and terror that is difficult for most people to imagine. It is said that its none of our business how we do, we are to suit up and show up. And fill the form...

We are not prepared as we grow up in any form how to prepare for doubt are we? I don't remember my mom saying we are going to have a lesson in this, much like how to scramble an egg. Or did I receive any of that in school.. I've heard doubt is something that is telling you to take a step back and prepare yourself from something bigger and better...If every time I feel I've slipped in to a doubt I can stop myself from over thinking and catch myself with the thought that I'm to slow down a bit and step back take a good look at all things in a bigger picture then I can see that change is upon me and I just need to prepare...not sure what it is yet..

Julia shares...from a elder creative friend, Julianna McCarthy...don't take the first think of the first drink for an sober alcoholic.. We can't afford to romance it.

When a doubt moves at an artist, the artist must learn to step aside and let the charge pass...I think of the matrix's at this point with Keane Reeves bending back wards...

Julia shares...Doubt is the earthquake of the heart, the forest fire of self-criticism that threatens to take down everything in ti's blistering path. In other words, doubt is both normal and deadly, like coral snakes in Florida. Doubt is not to be toyed with.

"Feel the feelings but don't act on them. This too shall pass," artists/people need other people to tell them that.

Doubt is part of the territory as an artist. Surviving doubt, learning's to discern what is emotional terrorism and what is a proper, suggested course adjustment, is something and artists/person becomes more skilled at over time-and often only with the help of his creative elders who have suffered doubt themselves.

Art is a spiritual practice...and I just want to say living a good life is too. Doubt is normal. We need faith to survive it and we also need charity. When doubt attacks, we must be vigilantly self-loving. We must not open the door to the stranger who hands us the bottle of scotch, the pills, and the gun..sounds so crazy but when we are or having developed the skills yet it is so easy to turn to this way of dealing with life then it is call someone on the phone..etc.

When doubt darkens the heart, it is wise to think of this gloom not as "reality" But as passing weather, like a badly overcast few days.  Like a good storm it will always pass..

Task work is....10 small ways to be selfish...which will in turn help you be selfless...One way is I tell people I'm not worth anything after 9:00 pm at night so don't call...took me a while but truth is I'm not and I would end up giving of myself which there wasn't much to give so how good would I be to them..not I could treat myself weekly to lunch which I do, do regular and I like that...I can find a place that I've not tried before and explore...instead of answering to someone else needs..selfish...sure but it's also self-caring.

Well at this point when you finish a weekly chapter your to check in on yourself and I have to say...I do my morning pages/journal writing every morning they been a bit scattered but then I snap out of it and if flows.. My artist dates have been extended time in the woods...a few times I stop and just stand there and close my eyes and try to calm myself down and just use my sense instead of the brain rolling not stop...I do need to do more meditation exercises...even for the 3minutes at most it was refreshing. and my walks have not been every day.. but the days that I have, their good and long.

Issues this week...the juggling of opportunities and making choices about things. Staying focused, and some worry is setting in on all the things I said yes to...and can I carry that out...but as soon as I stop and even write out a game plan and do a little something each day the worry lessen and I move forward with a calmer feeling.

on to week 10

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Thank you for stopping by and viewing my collage chatter, many creative blessings and peace to you and yours