Last section of week Five in Walking in the World...

Energy Debts

Julia shares: as artist we must think of our energy as a way people think of money. Artists are natural spendthrift.  And artist must return enough to the inner well to feel a sense of well-being.  I sure can contest to that today..and the snow made me want to reach for comfort which I did with some homemade chicken soup and a day in the studio.. The husband is out plowing now some of the young adults are working some are at Night College and one I think is having some fun with a friend. So the house is quiet with the critters and me…No T.V. that is a blessing. But I came down after being the studio for a good 7 hours and felt refreshed and quickly picked up some of the house and through a few loads in the dryer and washer. With all the new classes and things in full motion for me, I knew I needed that replenishing of the creative spirit. S

Julia share what is getting drained is our creative bank account…so with a gut feeling today I know where I belonged. And great progress was had. The whole weeks essay has to deal with our personal territory which only we can keep an eye on. Artists must husband our energy as carefully as our money. We must spend it along lines that are personally and creatively rewarding. We must invest it wisely in people and projects that return our investment with measurable satisfactions, growth, and achievement.

For the elder artists who teach and mentor, the rewards are real, but the demands can be unrealistic. In their desire to give, they may expand more than they can refund to themselves.  A student who thoughtlessly misses lessons and expects and demands rescheduling can tip the balance from possible to impossible in a teacher’s busy schedule.

When we are unhappy in a relationship, when we “blow things out of proportion,” it is because the proportions with in the relationship, and perhaps in our life as a whole, are somewhat skewed. We are not crazy, but something is. We feel drained because we are drained.

Writers must write, Piano players must play piano. Painters must paint and singers must sing. We can use our creative energy in the support of others, but if our artist gets lost in the transaction, if our aid and support is treated a generic cheerleading, if we are not acknowledged and nurtured in a return in a way that fits our actual personal needs, then we are being inadvertently battered.

Here is where I have to watch it…Ours is a culture that tells us “bigger is always better” and that more” is better too. As artists, big is not always better and more is sometimes less. As artists, when we over diversify, we also grow diffused. The name we have worked so hard to make means less as it is stretched too thin-along with our energies-in the name of being a “good sport”, a “good guy” a mensch.

Without sufficient containment for our own temperaments to thrive, without physical and psychic walls to shield us from the demands and dramas of others, we become over stressed. Our nerves short-circuit and out ideas lash like live wires, we are filled with energy, but it’s not grounded and usable. Our art suffers and so do we.  When we begin to set boundaries –no calls after eleven, not calls before eight, no work on Saturdays, and no on-demand makeup lessons for missed classes-we begin to experience a sense of faith. Why? Because we feel safe.  It is hard to have faith in the future when we h have no charity for ourselves in the present.

I love this part… When we insist on playing God by trying to be all-powerful and all-understanding and all giving and all things to all people, God can work no miracles in our own lives, because we never allow the time or space to let a divine hand enter our affairs.

If you want to work on your art, work on your life…and this is a biggie to work and balance…Can’t say I have all this mastered but I really do get it when I do and it is a wonderful moment of feeling safe and with faith. Well it’s dinner time and as I said before I’m having a bowl of homemade chicken soup…Life is good and prayers for those that are dealing with some sickness, and need healing.