compassion and Idenity, wordy again.

Wow!  two totally different words...what do they have in common?  maybe nothing...
Compassion from A Buddhist nun Pema Chodron,  Compassion practice is daring. It involves learning to relax and allow ourselves to move gently toward what scares us.. Compassion is not a default response.  The first response to pain in our lives or someone elses is to self protect.  We protect ourselves by looking for someone or something to blame.  Or sometimes we shield ourselves by turning to judgement or by immediately going into fix it mode.

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. it's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others, compassion become real when we recognize our shared humanity. 

I love this part-allow ourselves to move gently toward what scares us..

So moving on into week two of Walking in this World- by Julia Cameron,  it's about discovering  a sense of proportion.
an ongoing process of self-definition. redrawing boundaries and limits within which you have lived, you draw yourself to a fuller size. coming into ourselves, we sometimes encounter resistance from those in our immediate environment.  The reading and tasks of this week aim at bolstering the sense of a realistic self on the face of difficulty and even discounting. 

So with moving into this weeks chapter.. I bring in a bit of compassion...mainly when looking at myself and where I am in the artist realm.  first things first...identity,

I just had this conversation last night with a few good people at a small Christmas dinner party...and it was with a retired Policemen...he shared that he's notice on the job of being a policeman there is this need to produce...but with the line of business that it is there's not much space to produce unless you call producing a person for a charge or crime they did, etc...but he noticed that...and I responded that my belief is we are human beings and we seem to have this need to be creative with our hand, minds and souls...and this morning I read.  All of us are creative. Some of us get the mirroring to know we are creative, but few of us get the mirroring to know how creative...
 I look at my life as a series of events that lead to becoming ourselves as JC shares, all of ourselves.  Can you name yourself?
 As of I'm an artist working in medium of collage and paper, teaching and presenting workshops.  Well for me I can, but I do know some other creative types have a hard time with it...I concider it a passing over into a different realm or level of thinking...once I did that and starting thinking that way and understanding that it wasn't ego but more so the truth, it was much easier to deal with it then not and wonder. 

Julia shares with us...Who do you think you are? We often don't really know the answer to that we know something along the lines of "I think I might be...." When we are surrounded by people who either can not see us or can not acknowledge what they see, our image blurs.  We begin to feel both a certain self-doubt and a certain stubborn inner knowing that we may then dismiss as crazy.  Part of us knows we're more than they see; part of us fears we're less then we hope...This inner friction is painful...

hmm there's that word again Painful...  So I ask can I move into area of my life that is painful and have compassion for myself?   Sometimes I can't...and I'm thankful for having artists and creative types to be my believing mirrors, Believing Mirrors reflect us as large and competent creatively.  I'm fortunate to have a close creative family and for the most part I can turn to them quickly to help me deal with what ever bit of craziness comes my way.. Kind of like nipping in the butt before it grows too large. 

Now to remember this book is about helping one continue the practical art of creativity. Being able to find the right resources to keep our encouragement going is a challenge.  As some call it finding your tribe or your people that can encourage you with out mocking you.. and truly believe in you. 

To continue on a artistic life we my think we need a map like someone who scouts out a banking business career and can really see it all laid out...but thats one thing that is hard to see early on... but if one just keeps doing that inner itch will be the artist's compass.  Art is not a linear and neither is an artist's life.  Leads back to sometimes I don't know who I am.  I think this goes to say for the most part all human beings have these moments not just artists...we seem to muddle along and then we stop and ask what am I doing and who am I?  We realize we are far more multiple and rich then most of us assume...I remember hearing you aren't just what you do... which is a tough concept for people that have been working hard at it for sometimes..I know I fall into the moments of obsession thinking and that's all I seek is what I do...which I have to stop and look and listen and relax a moment and simple ask those question now and then...Call it centering or grounding...that's mainly why I go walking in the woods...to get reacquainted with myself, and spiritual guidance..sounds odd  but it works..  I usually return with a good feeling, and I do hear my soul say this is what I am and who I'm meant to be..  There's a point when it might come down to a simple acting of asking for help through moments of craziness and listening to the every growing small voices..

Art begins in the heart. By listening to our hearts desires and listening to them closely, we are not only led into making the art we dream of making but also into dream of that art being realized on a meaningful scale.  Like the farmer in Field of dreams...We must first build it..whatever it is and trust that they will come..

It is a spiritual law that no art blooms with out an artist also blooming...which again brings me back to if you want to work on your art...you have to work on your life.  And my life right now seems to be seeking a bit of higher connections and also understanding which for me leads to more compassion in my life...the kind of compassion of understanding on a higher spiritual level and talk about being scared/fear  can and will this be convey in my collage work?  Go question one that I'm going to have to ask for help with. JC shares, We are inhabited by a larger life than we know. We doubt our own identiy, that identity is still guiding us, still nudging us to our rightful path...well I know I sure feel that...a nudge, call it ideas, inspirations or a passion to carry out.  Something larger and finer then we know calls us to be larger and finer then we dare. So we act on faith, descend into doubt, and watch in amazement as our dreams carry us forward with a knowing of their own. Sometimes our dreams feel born desptie us.  She goes on to say..Art may be the finest form of prayer. Making art is quite literally a path "to the Maker" 

And to end this with a few more words from JC...We make art not merely to make our way in the world but also to make something of ourselves, an often the something that we make is a person with an inviolable sense of inner dignity. We have answered yes when our true name is called. 

I go back to the first week and see what I wrote... is this my true name... One with a strong commitment, grounded in reality and inspiring with enthusiasm, a devoted honest and alive individual with a great passion, seeking authenticity instead of seeking outside approval.

this was from the questions/task work she ask you to do in week one.. 10 positive adjectives to describe yourself...self help or what every you call it... some people have great fears about addressing these kinds of topics and issue...might I have some,  got to be honesty when called to be that artist and put myself out there in the world there is a moment of craziness that has to be touched upon with great inner knowing or guidance be sought after to keep moving forward and smoothly as can be..