Yesterday I got a good start on things that weren't planned... I realized that I have a show coming up this next weekend July 10th and 11th and I need to get prepared for that.. So I decided to pull out the last bench seat in the van and put that in storage and vacuum out the space and clean the window's on the inside..major nose prints with GPS circle all over.. before I knew it I was packing up my tent and sliding in my display panels and all the rest of the stuff needed but the art work...in - out of the front door of the house loading in the stuff...no one was home to give a hand..oh wait give me a hand with this...I forgot that was in a dream that I saw that...This is a sole proprietor business and that's right just me does the labor of this art fair stuff...I was feeling a bit ugly about it all while I was packing but then before I knew it I was done and had a vacuum ready for the inside of the house...I keep going and chased my dust puppies around till there were no more. Then I tackled the dishes and the thought about running to the pet store to pick up some fish tank filters... maybe I'll clean the long over due fish tank.
but then a wonderful surprise...My cousin Doris stopped in we had a nice long lunch visit with each other..much like old times..I can see we are settling in to our ages and chatting about our children life and all the stuff in between...good times...and self - accepting of it all. I know I felt blessed with the visit. We enjoyed the winged ones activities all around us as the birds came to the feeder. After she left the green tea we drank gave me the extra energy to tackle my 55 gallon fish tank..for those of you that have been following me for some time please forgive me for bring it up...but that tank needed a good cleaning..so I headed to the pet store and got right back at the job and now the tomatoes and egg plant have natural fish tank water and the house plants too. Always good to spread the good stuff around then every one happy.
Change of topic....
Chapter three on A Women's Self-Esteem..
Nathaniel Brandon shares that with out self-acceptance, self-esteem is impossible...If one is locked into a pattern of self-rejection, personal growth will be stifled and one is not going to be happy.
The essence of this issue is..."to accept" is to experience reality fully, without denial or avoidance. different from acknowledging or admitting.
So a feeling comes up and you may feel envy, rage or fear .. we are to feel those feelings and own them, value them not that we have to like them but respect them. Examine and look a bit further sometimes you find they melt way when we can consciously look at them. He say we can't evolve out of our unwanted feelings if I cannot accept them... hmmm how many times have we we felt something and we might have been taught not to feel that way or we should feel a certain way..What it's about is facing them and feeling them and not staying stuck in them.. moving through those feelings.. So from my understand... as long as I hate or reject a part of me and who I am or were I am I remain in an internal war, and there is not way your self-esteem will not suffer.
When we accept our experience, without necessarily liking it, we ally ourselves with reality and thereby empower ourselves. When we don't, we set ourselves against reality and become weaker..
Self-esteem is intimately tied to a relentless respect for facts, including facts about our own person. this is why self-acceptance is so important..
Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself. It is one of the indispensable building blocks of healthy self-esteem.
Basic sentence to be completed...is it brain washing.. for me and my learning style I know I personal have to have things drilled in..repeated and repeated..or I've got to feel it all the way through with my hands.. Just reading something that I might want to learn about just doesn't work so I seem to have to work double time or triple time to get it...that's why I'm posting it here too..it's me reading it and writing it and then typing it out and rereading it again...Acceptance of one self... though I struggle it's the way that works the best for me.
If I were 5% more self-accepting---
If I were 5% more accepting of my thoughts---
If I were 5% more accepting of my feelings and emotions---
If I were 5 % more accepting of my past mistakes---
If I dealt with myself more compassionately----
When I treat myself with rejection---
I am becoming aware---
So how does this all relate? good question I ask myself... being in a business where it's your heart and soul going into your pieces of art work and you have many walking by your booth...what do you need when this all comes about... Good self-esteem and good self-acceptance I feel but I could be wrong.. With the way things are what is left for one to do but keep positive and keep moving forward in the littlest steps cause soon they add up and you've walked that mile without even realizing... I feel some how or another there's this need to express our inner most with others and when we do and people connect to our self expression there's nothing like that... yes I may sound like I'm going off the deep end but I'm not I feel more sane then what I've felt in along time..