Anxiety-These components combine to create an unpleasant feeling that is typically associated with uneasiness, apprehension, fear, or worry. Anxiety is a generalized mood condition that can often occur without an identifiable triggering stimulus. As such, it is distinguished from fear, which occurs in the presence of an observed threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats that are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.
I put this up here cause it's real...how I feel...I've been doing this for 11 years, showing at art fairs.. but I can't help feelings that over rided by my emotional state...the biggest is Fear and Worry.. I share this with you all because I'm sure as human beings we have all felt something like this in our lives..My question to myself is how do I/we get through and past it? What has worked for me... Task work making a list of things that I need to do, making them small and doable and start early enough so I don't cram it all in to the last day of getting ready.. There are some that have no fear or worry about this kind of thing and look cool as a cucumber but those are the ones that have extra helping hands..so my worry steps in because doing it on my own... and how will it all work and what if it rains and if it does how will I do it... So crazy I have to write in my morning pages and share with you and others..they probably want to slap me with a two by four to snap me out of it..like a record stuck on the same grove...
I feel there is a certain amount of Anxiety that is healthy... but when it freezes you up that's when it serious.. I've not gotten to the frozen state..thank the Spirit for that..but i get this this state quite often.
In life I've learned and still am learning that there are many things I can't control what so ever..but by worrying about it I feel that I'm controlling something...what I don't know is, worry seems to be a false security blanket.. it's been proven that worry leads to stress and stress leads to illness, mental and physical..so let me drop the worry.. yes I'm dropping it like a bad penny... no good anymore.. unhealthy to carry it around it does me no good at all but give me a false sense of control... and I'm not one for the false stuff I'm a real woman so as I write this can you feel the empowerment of self knowledge stepping in..
Fear is another emotion that can rob you of your present life... My fear is that I'll not do well at the art fair..and that it will rain and my art will get wreck and all my life's work will be nothing... I have a dear friend that I'm so grateful I still call and chat with..Mary Lou, When I first met her, we had lunch together and I spilled the beans about my life she asked me quite often what are you affaird of ? what is your fear..? I felt comfortable to be honest with her and shared them.. She would snicker and then give me some humor about now come on what possibly can you control about this situation she would ask..(nest slap of my reality and put my humanness in place, took the crazy power me thinking I'm the almight right out of there) which was even harder to bring up cause I really had to look at that.. So my fears are controlling the out come of the sales of my work.. my fear is that I won't sell a thing...Has that happened before?... Once and that was at one of my shows in Hinsdale but I won a placement award as the best newcomer to the show...
next fear... it will rain and my life's work will be wrecked.
Reality it's not all my life's work..that's really impossible to admit...I have so many different stages of life's work that that statement or fear has really no power... What about the rain? well that could happen and that's the truth..what can I do to be prepared for that... I have in my tub of goodies some or many rolls of drop clothes and I've had to do this before..do I like to do this? no I want to avoid it at all cost... Hmmm back to the end statement about anxiety-anxiety is the result of threats that are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable. There's another big word about this anxiety..Perceived... My perception of the situation is not always what it real and when I take the time to break it down and look at how I'm behaving to given myself a moment I can see where I can calm my thoughts, emotions and the anxiety seems to flow away.. sound a bit crazy...? some might say so but I'm feeling calmer already... and from my past experiences I have to trust that someone upstairs(spirit in all things) likes me and cares about my needs and would really like me to succeed at what I'm doing if not, I would have made it this far... right...so Hope Floats this boat and anxiety is used for the anchor and drop over board.. on with the day.. Thanks all for hang out with me as I walked myself through... share if you would like if you've ever had this kind of stuff happen to you.. it's good to know that even though some may perceive us as having it all together we truly are just human being stumbling and bumbling along trying to fulfill a life's dream or just make the ends meet..
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