Wednesday, October 05, 2016

From Moon Cycle Circle

Posted: 05 Oct 2016 12:00 AM PDT
Visions have always been difficult for me.
I sense an opening, rather than seeing a well laid out path;
a kaleidoscope of images, rather than a clear picture;
ways of feeling and being, rather than having and achieving.
Is this a tangible way of visioning?
Or, am I like a boat in the sea of possibility, without a rudder?

Carolyn writes:  I've always hated those vision exercises with instructions to write down clear visions for the future, or  business growth, or what my life will be like in 1, 5 10 years from now.  I rarely get 'clear' visions.  I get brief flashes of image and a lot of 'felt sense'/feelings that are more like a kaleidoscope of possibilities rather than a clearly defined path to the future. I realized today how much shame I have been carrying about not being able to create a clear vision. I was asked in an interview to share about my vision, embarrassment and shame were lumps in my throat as my mind flipped through my mental Rolodex  wanting to grasp something inspired, or at least acceptable.

But, the interviewer, in her wisdom, gave me a wonderful gift.  She gave me permission to have my vision my way, and she validated it, and most important, truly seemed to understand it.  Having a vision for how I want to feel and be in the future, rather than what I wanted to be doing and what my life looked like, isn't so odd after all.

Self Reflection: How do you create vision for your life, for living, working, walking your Truth?

I received this, this morning in my email box...and read it.  You know how sometimes your  thinking can make you feel alone in the world...probably would do well to get out of the house ...but I have all I need to keep work during the day so why...but anyways as I ramble on when I read this...I was comforted by her words.  

Sensing an opening... instead of a laid out path.. 
Images in a kaleidoscope rather then a clear picture. 
feelings....I use them to maneuver around. 

and she described it...perfectly,  my vision, embarrassment and shame where lumps in my throat as my mind flipped through my mental Rolodex wanting to grasps something inspired, or at least acceptable. 

Going deep....Working with my vision board this year it has allowed me just that, sensing an opening moving forward on some very deep longings.  Darn I say putting the process first instead of the product, though product is present afterwords.  There's not be such a heavy plan that would be made per say in the business world...You know in 3 and 6 months and then in a year sort of gage.  I felt bad for not following a plan like that. I felt something was wrong with me...No you must have a plan....rebellious was the response my inside gave back.  

It's nice to know I belong somewhere else instead of the Big Business Gage of the super plan. It's not about comparing as much as it's about seeing if you're truly on your own personal path you suppose to be on by those cue's and hints that you are...making sense of it as it all comes together.  

Loving what she ended with, as... "it's not so odd after all." 

1 comment:

  1. Reading your post was one of those, "damn, how is it possible that I am thinking and feeling the same things?!"
    As always, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Many times, you have been my inspiration to do the next right thing. Today, however, I am running away from my thoughts and feelings - Going to get on my bicycle and ride until my thighs hurt.
    Maybe I'm riding head long into my problems, rather than away from them, trying to make sense of it all.
    Like you said, it's not so odd after all, looking for clues and not knowing....


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