Monday, January 28, 2013

Tying it all together

I've had a few experiences of retreats in my time and some awesome art workshops.  One thing that they do is allow me to open up.  To be receptive to many perspective in a safe place with out having the information force upon.

I'm going to share somethings that may or may not tie or bind in.

The Reality of conflict and struggle. Everything in this universe grows and changes through a process of struggle and conflict. In order for anything to grown or change it must struggle to do so first. Conflict is a natural part of growing. Conflict is a friend, not an enemy. We usually hate it when conflict begins. But the teaching says, "when the struggle starts, get happy." It means a change is starting to occur.  Conflict precedes Clarity.

Conflict is a guidance system.

My experiences I've had in the past have always been good and even if it was 12 years ago my memory of them is really ingrained in me so the whole experience still brings about inner knowing or as some like to call it "More is always revealed when the time is right."

And unusually these retreats are really for my own clarity of life and my small space in it.

As I've grown from then to now, most of the time I was given ways to think and behave. Our parents and grandparents etc.

Then as you continue to grow you see the world through your own eyes and form your own opinions of how you perceive things.. Hopefully most of us have gotten a good foundation but not all.

Well how does this all tie in... from what you where taught to what you've gather on your own and to where you would like to be...there's that gap stopping you for progressing or growing.  Becoming whole is more what I would like to say.

As new experience on retreats awakened areas of conflict in me that I need to find clarity with I feel that I'm a bit raw or open and I have to be careful how much to share or not to share.  Not everyone is where I'm at with this and not everyone understands or should.  And what I'm seeing it others have their opinions and seem to need to share, seeing eye to eye isn't always part of it..

So back to what is intuitively calling me to listen...walk, time to keep walking with this and being quiet and allowing the clarity to do what it's does....Guide me.

Rambling and still gathering my thoughts and seeking.  Vulnerable yes, so until I fully understand it's meaning from this weekend, there may be more conflict and I'm accepting of that...just is what it is. 

I did take a risk this weekend and it may not seem like one to anyone else but I tryed Yoga, which I hadn't since senior year of high school, some 30 years ago. The think is I knew I would like it but didn't want to allow myself to do it but in a safe place with a dear person I know made all the differences and I also walked Saturday afternoon a long ways and found a place to sit and meditate..not sure if I didn't it right, or I was just on a exericse high from all the walking but the moment as stuck with me so I feel that's a good think...Does this sound funny I remember sitting there just being and not listening to the mind race or chase...just being present.

It's all a good thing.
and so Grateful I went even though some conflict has stirred I know more clarity is on it's way and Yes I am happy...


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