Finding Water Week 8

Again for those that might be following along with Finding Water, book 3, Julia Cameron's Artist Way.

Uncovering a sense of truth
(if you're having a hard time follow the readings of the week just keep in mind the beginning statement here and share on that when you check in.)

Each of us bears with in us an inner compass, a sort of spiritual dowsing wand. When our actions match our values, this compass points true north. This week you are asked to focus on personal grounding. As you plan and execute ritual that both sooth and enliven you, your compass will become more steady. Reaching out to others is another means by which we gauge our own position. As we extend ourselves in empathy towards our friends, we experience ourselves as generous and compassionate.

Change 1

As artists, when we encounter change, we often react as the dogs do… (A bit aggressive or protective of the unknown) No matter that the change is “ for our own good” change is still change and it is hard for us.

Julia share about her experience with new partnership or new environments such as her dogs experienced. And having cool feet or questioning the new partner and our own ability to size them up. Might she be sharing about the loss of control that when she was in a situation without a partner there was a sense of safety? Didn’t have to worry about getting hurt or miss trusting. And now venturing into a new endeavors she is sharing the sense that it’s all going to fall apart, when in fact it’s coming together and it’s falling in the right direction…This feeling of out of control when things are going right is scary too. Are things moving too fast? I know myself and I would want to control the change…give me the reins…I tell this horse where to go…being silly of course one can never control an animal on guide with mutual respect. But my instinct for survival would be to get come control before I would got out of control.

She shares about the feeling of vulnerability, it’s like opening up a spot to get hurt, who would want to do that intentional. But what is happen as she describes it, as being nudged awake. But then the possibility to have one more of our dreams break our hearts.

No matter that the change we are undergoing is a change for the positive.

( forgive me for thinking I'm a writer..I've made progress as some can contest but just need to be wordy not a word smith though, not my calling...I truly want to get more out of life then just the surface stuff so I'm digging a bit deep to find water in this well bear with me)

I have to share something personal here… The thought of moving to the north woods has always been one of my dreams. Financial right now it’s not possible and I accept that so much so that I have create as best to my ability my own north woods on my piece of property I live on now. It brings me joy to be outside and also to witness its changes as the season come and go. The husband and I have been joking around and sliding the door open a bit about finding a home or a different career and I can’t believe I’ve been checking into it. First was the big log home in Lac du Flambeau WI…Oh my gosh…the ideas and imagination when wild…I’ve not had that experience since I was a kid. You know the kind when you can almost taste it and then…reality comes in and Mom and Dad say NO! You can’t have that… I believe every child has that, I’m sure of it. It’s it what we like most about our childhood is the gift to imagine? Then Yesterday I kind of went on an artist date, no lets clear that up, I did go on an artist date and to drop something off at Blue Heron’s (glass jar for making sun tea we forgot about it from our trip.) Well I wasn’t going to go but I decided to venture out, it’s just a few hours of my day, why not? She shared with me a place that I might find a plant called False Indigo which I was very interested in since I saw it at the International Crane Foundation we both went to on our way home from WI. Well I found my way to Floriabunda Gardens in Owsego IL. No flowers, no plants, no cars? Wow what was going on? Then I saw the sign, the whole place was up for sale..20 some acres and the flower garden…little did I know till I got home what the going price was…799,900.00. But the how way over to Doris’s house the imagination was on over load and I was creating a center where people could come and stay and there would be art retreats…and then in switch of ideas I was a garden center and I was willing to let go of all the art career stuff to run it and be content in tending to plants and the land and then maybe I would fit in some hand paper making.. By the time I got to Doris’s, Sick as she was and I didn’t know it. I probably sounded and looked like silly fool full of childlike enthusiasm. The thing is I’m ok with it all not happening I do question the idea and toying around with it But I’m good with traveling and seeing new place while I work and presenting the workshop as long as I can. Mainly way I’m good with it is that my husband and I added on to this house and rebuilt it for our family and I would hate to leave it, there is so much rich simple family history here. All is so good and I’m so grateful.

Back to the “Capacity to break our hearts” a dream that is, it was a bit scary that it came on so full blown with a rush of imagination like it did…I fear that kind of dreaming as of it does bring back the childlike heart breaking that when on.. But I know that I can dream and if it’s not possible to have what I want I can receive gently what I need and see it as a blessing for what I do have.
There will be more to this chapter but thought to post this now. Switching things up a bit and adding some life. Don’t know if this all makes sense but trying to pull more out of what she’s giving us.

When we remember that we have a daily life, we begin to find our grounding or is this a start to finding our truth? To learn to adjust and find out the world is not a hostile place, we take it to be?