Friday, December 30, 2011

Path Cutter in the wilderness of life.

It seems that I need to have a strong commitment going on some where in my life. I'm realizing it more and more...I always thought I was a flighty one, which I still can be on most days. (just part of my make-up as a dyslexic individual, with wonderful advantages, I'm finding out, that's a different story)  When our four children where younger it was very spontaneous and as a mother you had to be very flexible but there was still an underline string stretched across the day and on tough days it was a tow rope.   Hidden most of the time under toys and clothes, it was a guidance for the day, which I realize now more so.  It could have been as simple as keeping the kido's feed, dishes kind of washed and keeping down some of the clothes piles in the utility room but it was the underline string...of sorts.

 Now I call it my task master, an inner compass or strong inner commitment with myself.  I need some kind of guidance on a daily bases and be it from Nature, books people in my life or something bigger I seek it daily and I can't say enough about using the Artist way books for self guidance or compassing and helping yourself steer right on your path...for some it's a bit too much to do, all that self looking at and into...stirs things up that have settled nicely in a place that is works, or seems to be, but as an artist, my work comes from all that I live in my life and learning to understand it and sometimes not... but being able to create with, through and past it has been a wonderful gift...

Find what works and working it is a key and by doing that it can leave you feeling a bit alone and not part of a group..That I feel has to be weighed out...Being authentic to yourself and answering to your own personal calling is a gift and also a daily practice and once you find it, it can make me kind of protective of it. I'm not trying to talk all big of myself but more so the interesting stuff I'm digging up

 Dig stands for-
Deliberated in thoughts and behaviors through prayer, mediation, or simple setting their intentions.
Inspired to make new and different choices;
Going. They take action.
(from The Gifts of Imperfection)

So now I'm rambling in introspective chatter, but it's important to me as I'm seeing over stimulation these days is a bit much of me and I need to fall back on some basic things that I know have worked and that is going in, going deep inward to my core and connecting with a good orderly direction, it works for me...and trusting that and just acting with it and on. 

Back to the Artist Way books...they have been my thread to help me stay on course and keep myself as authentic as I can..which brings me back and full circle to a state of time when you stand alone and it's something I've always had in me from a very young place...but I felt OK there...and didn't use that to dwell in or stay stuck in self pity...If I may state the words...Scout, Adventurer and Creative Pilgrim. All these words are a way of looking at myself  in a positive moment, a state of alone.  So people ask me about my email/licences plates and the name of the steams from a life time of introspective stuff like this.  Which if asked depending on what state of being I'm in or mood I'm stumbling for words or it speak loudly like now.

As a friend of mine says...In closing I would like to say.....

(from The Gifts of Imperfection)
Authenticity is not something we have or don't have. It's practiced -a conscious choice of how we want to live. 
Authenticity is a the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're suppose to be and embracing who we are....

Yesterday I went and purchased two new bra's, two new white mens large white shirts and two pairs of men's jeans...yes I know that's silly but while cleaning out my closets yesterday that image flashed to me...I've always fit better in a man's jean...I don't have a curvy body like a woman pretty much barrel or straight up to big shoulders. So letting go of what society thinks I should be looking like and I bought into, I decided to put into action who I am.
 Who are you?


  1. I am going to try very hard to keep up with the next AW book that we're doing...and also Simple Abundance. Love that book! And morning pages, and gratitude list, and "to do" lists, and ...........

  2. Oh April it's so hard to juggle the good stuff to do for ourselves but when we do we know it works well for ourselves don't we.


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