Sunday, October 31, 2010

I wonder....

I wonder sometimes...that one day all is well and the attitude and perspective on life is good and then the next day it's a bit off kilter...what is that all about? I watch my child and other people try to deal with that along with myself. The ups and downs with life...some people have been in a whirl wind of what it seem like life long battles and even though it doesn't seem like it they then create more of what their use too so it feels normal...Make sense?  hard to get off the crazy wagon...I often wonder that expectation of our days get a bit to high and we as human being expect it to be one way and it doesn't always cooperate that way and we go into a dive...be it under the covers or turn to food, drugs, drink or spending.. all because I didn't work out like we wanted it to. I've heard some say it's like filling a hole that can never be filled but by a higher presence.. We can only be as happy as we make our minds up to be and I believe Abraham Lincoln said that.   There are many outside influences that effect us humans from day to day... Our own thinking is the biggest..we are so smart and educated but we keep circling the wagons and never move forward... then the bodies reaction to our substance we put in it.   Oh and then there is the hormones that effect our daily life's...now men may not think this to be so for them, but that's not true..they go through hormone changes too.  So whats come this morning in thought and from morning pages is how do you have more days of happiness verse the days of diving under the covers..Now I'm not feeling like I need to do that so no concern there.. It brings me back to what is a good day for me or should ask you all that too, and it doesn't have to deal with material things but what is a good day and how to you make more of them.  Here my thoughts on that...my attitude and my perspective on life in general is a start...how I see, think and feel about things really does matter and that ability that I forget that I have really can change things.  If I would like to have more peace and simplicity in my life I need to take actions to make that happen. Now that's a chore in it self..then it's the stuff I put in my body...If I go and put sugars and to much white flour I end up being a slug and my attitude just follows that right on down to under the covers...but it's a tough one to stay away from..now I've worked out the alcohol, drugs and cigarettes but left with food, hmmm still a source of comfort.  You see there's along line of addictions of all sorts on both sides of the family, genetics I'm caught in the middle..and being aware of that is another place to start.. I"m just a wordy gal this morning and sharing pretty openly about that too.  So reaching for other substances to comfort our feelings and help us deal with things is a way us humans have dealt a good long time..it's when it gets out of hand and really starts effecting others that we must concern ourselves. 
So the path to have more days with a bit more sanity is what many people around me are seeking.. You can see their frustrated with all the drama and ups and downs. 

Fine a God as some would say but it's not the easiest path..some people have a lot of issue with that but if you find a sense of it hang on to it.. As I was taught there are as many ways to find that power as there are people on this plant

So after all the ramblings what I do to keep a good attitude and perspective going day in and day out is this.

Morning pages or pen to paper journal writing..I've been doing it since I was a teenage but a good stead 20 years. It use to bother the husband that I would wake up early in the morning before everyone else and sit with  a candle and write..guess he might have worried it was about him..fact is yes and no..mainly about life in general, frustrations and what I would like to do as I grow up and get older.

Walking in the woods-that has always been a source of comfort for me...being in a church never did it, juts to confined for me I'm not one that likes to be caged in, I need to see the lay of the land and it's changes and witness all that I can out there and as I walk I hear what I need to hear in guidance. I can honestly go to the woods with a problem, be it small or large and when I done I wonder what I was all concerned about..

Eating well it is really important after years of feeding my face with all the old worries and ways with to much sugar, I struggle to maintain where I am, it's an on going conscious effort to in balance.,got a good bill of healthy this year and need to keep that going. not one for doctors but did promise myself I would this year and did to that.
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Sleep-so important in my life to have at least 8 hours if I don't I've felt as though I've been out drinking..or something.. early to bed and early to rise makes this gal happy and wise

Then the art- I believe I've been given the gift to use the creative abilities all my life, my mother and father encouraged it and as I grow I used that as a survival mode which carried into motherhood and was passed to my kids and now back to complete a circle with myself   I have to create...be it banana bread, a pot of chili, a maintained yard to a clean house all that is a way for expressing creativity along with doing some much needed self expression.. Like talking all of this I write to day and expressing that though my art..some my not even know it but it is a way to start the ball rolling for me..taking it and bring it to the canvas or paper. Then to share it what a gift.. 

And the hardest of all- accepting things as they are...Oh I want it my way and I think we are much alike in that department though we many not admit it we are... another natural things that happens for us humans. when I get that mind set of acceptance I fine freedom..hard as it is to face sometimes we have to let it be cause in the whole scheme of things there's a plan we just aren't given instruction for, so we are to let it be and watch it play out..A good friend of mine would tell me just pretend it's a movie and grab a bowl of popcorn and let it play out.. and recently she told asked me this...what will it take to sit back..you know allow life to play out with your loved ones?   give the gift to them, give them the gift of letting go..allow them the dignity to life there life..as painful or as joyful as it is it's their life not yours...  now if you can do that ask yourself what the heck your doing about your own life? 

Family-I'm not a big huggy/kisses person but I do care deeply for my family..so much so with out hovering over them I have this protective instinct to be like a mother bear toward my family... I think it stems from being a child of divorce and not wanting to ever have that happen to me..I understand it today but the instinct to protect comes from there. I also believe most mother have this in them...but a good mother will allow their cubs to explore on their own and make their self discoveries..

And a daily check-in with myself and this may happen through out the day...I kind of stop and see where my feelings and emotions are ..now my thinking sometimes gets the best of me and that's when a good walking, you know a forward motion so I don't get stuck... then I move forward to...I'm safe all is good, and what next to do, Kind of thing.

Find what works and don't compare- yes finding what works for you as an individual is very important and then to kick the bucket of comparing...hard one for me to do and a natural human thing too. Comparing can be a motivator to some point or it can be freezer as of putting you in a box and stalling the shit  out of you. 

Keeping more days in a row of sanity and serenity is really important to me...as the husband says working on keeping his life simple is really a hard job.. you wouldn't thing so but it is...

Basics are all my needs taking care for the day?  food, water, shelter, warmth and comfort if not what can I do to have some of that to happen.  Some days it's to have a mental health day other days it to spot procrastination on something but I really am the one that needs to make the adjustments...instead of looking out to outside influences or other people to change.


Now what does it all have to do with what?  get dressed,  show up and walk through, face some challenges, give thanks and now that the sun will come up tomorrow and that the sun will set that night all cares are takend care of and you seen as good person striving to grow and be the best that you can with what you have and that's good enough for what matters. 

2 comments:

  1. It's all that matters. Great provoking thoughts, wow, too may at once but some time and walks will give needed directions!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh always seeking directions..but sitting in a good place, with much gratitude.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for stopping by and viewing my collage chatter, many creative blessings and peace to you and yours
~v~Laura