Earlier Works, Later thoughts

 

I've been thinking....and the Husband says, "Oh there you go again without tools."  A joke around here as of approaches to creativity.  Something about paper has always caught my creative heart.  The smells of paper and the inks on the paper too. (Some a bit to powerful)  

My thoughts are this... I'm not looking for it all anymore.  I didn't know what all was either...but I was allowed to explore it at my finger tips so to say.  

Staying at home, four children, some in school and some still home, exploring the creative art of collage and then moving into book arts with all the mixed media I could horrid, stash, need....etc.  Then in no order I thought but now I look back and see how it unfolded. Joining groups of other like minded creative souls, creating new groups, exhibiting together. Learning about that process along with framing my own artwork.  Which I was a framer for 10 year working with an art league a skill I'll cherish. 

The Husband and I made a choice so that our children would be raised by us. I was home and use what I could and learn what I could and was allow to live out a wonderful dream of being an artist.  

Art Fair, classes, workshops out of town, words and work in magazines and books...retrospect here of things and life changes faster then you know it. I always questioned if I was a work-alcoholic, the push to do more takes over because I'm caught up in my dream.  Not complaining just knowing and realizing one is caught up in the part of life that I've been in for awhile.   At this point I know my elders are nodding their heads in understand. 

Having to stay with the times and technology you move forward, you're teaching on Zoom or with in a teaching platform that takes big $.  Again not complaining, facing reality is all. 

I was very capable and able to do and explore many avenue and streams of income with this dream and gift, and have done quite well.  Though the extra work that goes into it consumes ones life in a way that is extreme.   There's been things I had to miss out on in my children's lives, major events because I had to be at the art fair and the workshop...etc.  I came to peace with it at the time.  

As one explores and grows does one long for the days when they just enjoyed the creative process and didn't have to push so hard to be seen and the creative product sell.  (I've sold many pieces of collage work over the 30 years.)  Because of the computer now and not having to save the art on slides and look through them on a slide project...(I can't believe I've witness this all and the changes from old school till now. )  

Thinking and looking at some of the older works and remembering the highs of creating and exploring.  Darn I say it has hit a point where I pushed the fun right out of it.  Did I say that?  Yes I did and I'm realizing it all.  

I've come from a long line of creative people, farmers, canners, house builders, seamstress, artists, shoe makers, etc.  Doing things to survive and creating things to thrive.   Getting melancholy I guess. 

The last few years of making more raw things from scrap papers and leftovers, like the Scroll rolls, Hanging scrolls, the Concertina book and exploring the unpolished look of art and the dangly bits of things hanging off like threads has been more enjoyable.  Though I've been exhibiting locally countering just what I said but there are easier to get to and drop off with the eldercare going on.  

Feeling deprived or a victim of a situation had also had its pluses.  Learning to adjust and accept and now live with and have happier time came with our Granddaughter. (almost 10 months old)   The future over the horizon has changed and I have to admit the dream too is changing.  

What is important? 

What do I still want to learn and give a try?

Where would I like to keep learning? 

What do I want to be when I grow older?  

Because I will always be creative and I will always have a Greater Spirit guiding me, brings a peace of mind and heart, kind of exciting to share that slowing down and allowing things to unfold is a part of Expanding life I've not explored as of yet.  (Expand, my word for the year)