Movement and Transformation

 This past week slowly our oldest daughter has been moving out.  And just yesterday the bed and the large computer desk with the bird left. We all helped her with this move. Not like the old days when we would drink and have a keg of beer and have all our friends with truck come and load up and move us in a day...yikes right..it worked. 

Our cat Sophie has started her morning cries.  She did this so far with each one of the other two daughters and now our oldest as they moved out and she walks the rooms with nothing in them. She has lost a companion and she's calling out.  

Our dogs the past week were a bit on edge and anxious as we all were.  Up and down stairs in and out the door many times.  I know the dogs get a bit anxious when I do that with the workshop I would teach. Packing up, bring down and loading up the van and then I was gone...seems to be a thing. 

When they come back for a visit the dogs and cat are so excited.  That is such a gift to my heart. 

I've been writing about the wisdom and lesson from my parents, and my aunts and uncle and my all the mothers in my life along with an understanding of a Greater Spirit.  Words of wisdom, raising your children so they can become independent of you.   Though they have stayed longer then most, which that became a blessing a few years back...they are all moving on.  We are crossing finger for our son as he's buying a house and what process it is, he's been accepted just some details. 

Part of the journey of the North is to look to our elders for wit and wisdom.   My parents where good teachers, Randy's parents were good teachers and my step mom was a good teacher, there parents were good teachers.  We have that in us...our job is to sort what is best for our own families and to stay grounded and trust that it will all work out.  The job to change patterns is also in the North with the wisdom we gain. 

Each one of our children when moving out...I knew this was the right thing for them...for me a mom I knew this too...they have not stayed the infant...they have keep growing and just what they should be doing. (a little extremes I  know.) The realistic acceptance is really making this year experience unforgettable.  I am full of emotions in a good way.   I left the home at 18 years old...and my oldest is 35 years old...it's harder.  Independence we worked at trying to respect their lives as they stayed at home and payed off their college debt and now able to do this.  Our other Two went back to school for their masters and that made their college debt be deferred for the time their bettering their educations. But they have moved out and their making it with life struggles, which as they say builds character and they are using all that we taught them and what they have learned to do this.  

Right now I do pray for them...as always.  I would pray for guidance on what to do and how,  as they were growing up...so many scary times and so many joyful grateful times.  Just raising a child in the world, the health and welfare are very challenging.  We were entrusted with this children now adults and they are doing well and venturing out...they were never ours they were of this worlds and now I pray for them to continue as best as they can. Seeking guidance from something larger than they are...continuing do the best they can and keep learning and growing. 

Sounds a bit raw...it is, I'm allowing myself to really feel, you know the heart stuff.  Luckily they are not all leaving us at once. The blessing is that it's gradually happening and gives us time all to adjust.  The husband asked if I was good and I just got done typing out this sentence and said that.."at least they are all leaving at the same time."   

So much to feel and be real about...

Chatted with my mom and we had a good laugh and again I'm so proud of her...She's my hero.  She's done some stuff that I had big hurts about in the past...but the choices made I have to understand that she was doing the best she could at time with her past, present and future.  I have some issue with people leaving me...but haven't we all had experiences like this or some sort in our past.   Making peace is part of my transformation this year with abandonment issues.  I have to remember to be a good elder means you let go of all the junk, suitcases and baggage of your past. The job of an elder is to be of serve, we are free to keep learning and sharing. 

Realizing what gifts I've gain from people leaving or us moving on...is where I would much rather be then dying in stillness of no growth.  

I've heard to be thankful for your challenges and dismays...be grateful for them...because when we change our thoughts we change our world....Norman Vincent Peale.   

My truths....the gifts of the North.  Realistic Acceptance all to become Vitally Alive....