Holding Space

Holding space for another person is incredibly profound. When you hold space for someone you bring your entire presence to them. You walk along with them without judgement, sharing their journey to an unknown destination. Yet you’re completely willing to end up wherever they need to go.
Holding Space for others
*Giving people permission to trust their own intuition and wisdom
* People need autonomy to make their own choices
* Never try to direct or control
* Keep your own Ego out of it
* Create space and opportunity to grow and learn
* Be a space holder without judgement and shame and know when to withhold guidance, a careful dance
* Create a container for complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc., the circle becomes the space where people feel safe enough to fall apart without fearing that this will leave them permanently broken or that they will be shamed by others in the room
* We cannot do it if we are overly emotional ourselves, if we haven’t done the hard work of looking into our own shadow or if we don’t trust the people we are holding space for* When we hold space we release control and we honor differences
* It’s a complex practice that evolves as we practice it, and it is unique to each person and each situation
* Giving permission and encouragement to hold space for yourselves
* It is not selfish to focus on yourself
* I need to sit with myself look into my own heart, bear witness to what I see there, and address it in whatever why I need to before I can do it for others. I can’t hide any of this stuff in the shadows, because what is hidden there tends to come out in ways I don’t want it to when I am under stress
* Only when I am present for myself and compassionate with myself will I be prepared to host with strength and courage
 * Give yourself permission to trust your own intuition
* Give yourself only as much information as you can handle
* Don’t’ let anyone take your power away
 * Keep your ego out of it
* Make yourself feel safe enough to fail
 * Give guidance and help to yourself with humility and thoughtfulness
 * Create your own container for complex emotions, fears, trauma, etc. and allow yourself to make decisions that are different from what other people would make
* Replenish yourself, take deep breaths, walks in nature, go for a swim or simple sit and stare at the sunset * take a longer break or retreat
* Let tears wash away the accumulated ick in your soul
* You can’t do this work alone and you’re not meant to
* We are all meant to be communal people, showing up for each other in reciprocal ways
* Paying attention to your attention, mindfulness meditation, instead of trying to stop thoughts simply notice them and let them pass
* Simply pay attention to what emotions and thoughts are showing up and when they come wish them well and send them on their way
* Find sources of inspiration, music for ex: can shift the way one feels
 * You are not in charge of the world
* You are only in charge of yourself and your own behavior thoughts and emotions etc.
 * Remember –that’s their story not yours
* just because they yell at you doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong
 * take a deep breath, say to yourself “I am not responsible for their emotion, I’m only responsible for how I respond, and then let it go
* When you’re feeling wounded by what their projecting on you, return to the points above and walk away practice mindfulness and let others hold space for you
 * find a creative outlet for processing what you’re experiencing, few things are as healing as time spent in creative practice
 * it’s were both words and wordlessness come to circle.