Double Sunrise, Gift from the Sea
Thursday morning…yes I am up in Lac du Flambeau WI, but I
brought my book along…I've got some time in the morning since I woke up so
early, to the sounds of the Loons, Eagles and Crows. (no completes, in fact a welcoming sound)
So on with the next chapter….Double Sunrise
A gift, freely giving freely taken, suspended on the still
point of here and now.
Anne shares about relationships and how pure the first part
of any relationship is so pure. Between husband and wife, mother and child etc.
It is pure and simple like the artist’s vision before he has
to discipline it into form, or like the flower of love before it has ripened to
the firm but heavy fruit of responsibility. Every relationship seems simple at its
start.
Anne shares the perfect of this unity…a moment of here
and now where nothing has entered or nothing has left. Then change happens,
because that is inevitable. Anne share that the deeper relationships like
marriage where changing patterns are clearly seen and hardest to maintain.
Thinking that if it doesn't stay in the perfect state all is failed. One might
resent any change, even though one knows that transformation is natural and
part of the process of life and its evolution.
Moving to another stage of growth, hesitation might be
present, but welcome it as the season change.
As Anne shares…a natural course seems to happen…as husband
and wife or two in love, we fall in to our roles…and the sense of missing out
on that early perfect pure love becomes something we long to get back. Women on the other hand seem to allow that ability
to reconnect with it if they experience the birth of a child, that recurring
moment of the new relationship present, here and now. If one is not careful though this is also when
the longing can become such a hunger it could have members in the relationship
stray.
Anne asks can one be fed by another relationship, because it
is in the early stage. I think what I’m gathering by this is that reaching out
and taking something to fulfill a need to regain a sense of this
intimate connection with others and not fully understanding what this inner connection
is all about is like chase something one cannot have. Grabbing from the outside to fill a void on
the inside. Anne asks, Can one actually find oneself in someone else? In
someone else love? Or even in a mirror someone holds up for you? Anne shares, I believe that true identity is
found, as Eckhart once said, by “going into one’s own ground and knowing oneself”
Can it be found by losing oneself? In creative works, yes we each need something
that we can call our own, a place to refine our strength, of our neglected pure
relationship to ourselves first.
From my own personal experience some relationships do seem
to fade out but is there hope for others? The ones that do have signs of
growth, it is not lost but merely buried under the impedimenta of life. The
core is still there and needs only to be uncovered and reaffirmed.
Re-connection to ourselves first might be a good starting
point, possible a time away as Anne share how important it is to give yours
solitude and simplicity. And also for a
couples or relationships that have many distraction, family, work to get away
together alone. From mine understanding it’s not about going back but it’s
about taking the time to unclog the path to have a moment again when each is as
purely important to each other as that first pure relationship of connection.
Creating a new point of continuous growth, bonding again.
We all wished to be loved alone. It is when we desire to
continuity of being loved alone that we go wrong. I hate to say it but it
sounds like chasing a drug of sick love…
For love moments there is no one and only….there is just
one-and only moments.
Gift here is that we can create new moments and be present
with the here and now they are refreshing and rewarding. This is intimacy.
All living relationships are in process of change, of
expansion, and must perpetually be building themselves new forms.
So I’m away from my family now though with a creative family
of sorts I will take all these find words and carry them close to my heart
today and allow them to ring true and be carried further throughout the rest of
this week and home with me.
Ah, yes, those first few months of love when you fall deeply. When colors are brighter, the world seems happier, time passes slowly until you see each other again.....The first time this happens to us, we think that feeling will last forever. And then reality sets in, and you realize it was "all in your head." Well, in your heart, too.
ReplyDeleteBut love relationships are living things--they grow and change, and I've learned that both of you must grow and change with each other, or it won't last. In my first marriage, we changed and grew away from each other. After 10 years, I realized we were no longer the same people as when we first met. Try as I might, I could not make it work by myself.
In my 2nd major love relationship, we have been much better at adapting to each other's changes. Sure, we've had some bumpy times along the way (okay, much more than bumpy), but somehow we were able to push through. We were more flexible, and had experience on our side. And now, that beginning rosy glow stage is just a foundation upon which everything else is built.
And of course, with children, a mother learns that they eventually become independent adults, and you both relearn communication and boundaries and respect. As you, Laura, pointed out to me once, it is a gift to let them be--to show them that you have confidence in them and that they will figure it out on their own. No need to give unasked-for advice. And they learn that they, indeed, can fly by themselves.
In June, my husband and I will be going to the Outer Banks, North Carolina, for our 25th anniversary. I am hoping that I can find some of these shells while we're there. A reminder of lessons learned--and probably of more to come.
Marge, I can say how great this is you sharing and well there's wonderful connection I'm understand in you words. thanks...I wish you the best on this trip you are planning for you anniversary. I know when I got home yesterday the husband and I do yard work together...didn't plan it and simply just went with the flow of it and well it was one of the one an only moments that reconnect on a different level to continually tie it all together. re bonding is a good word, and the re bounding can continue to happen. I love that you bring the love relationship up about being a living thing, so true. Might it be a great book for newly married couples to read...?
ReplyDeleteYes, I think it could be good for new couples! And I just bought another book (this one has an introduction by Anne's daughter--interesting) to give to my daughter when we meet up with them in the Outer Banks for a couple of the days. She has had a very difficult year, growing on her journey, and she loves the beach. I think she'll appreciate the book.
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