Eddying leads to a choice.

For the past two month now I've been Eddying what do to...yes the new word Eddie.. And the question is should I write up a proposal for the Gallery feature artist show or should I just take my work out?  Who could answer this question? No one but me.  I sent out a email as a feeler if they might be interested in something like that...but didn't hear one word.  Feelings...personal about that, I'm not sure...

I've been carrying great guilt for not going to the City for the evening receptions.  I don't like to go alone and yes it's fear of parking on the streets and being in the city at night. A very real fear too. Plus I don't want to get my vehicle towed if I park in the wrong spot.  I thought I would go to the gallery now and then when it was light out but I've only been there one evening time with a friend, Tania.   Other wise I didn't go.  The drive in could be anywhere around 60 minutes or 90minutes to get there...I really don't want to be in traffic like that and then head home later.. I've had people tell me well you just go into the city earlier...I question what would I do and then there's parking and it would all be still a hassle. Fact is I'm not a city girl...though I do enjoy the venture in now and then I'm not a city girl...and I don't like to go out much at night alone...I'm a home body or send me to the woods...I know weird but true.

So as an artist that is exhibit her work at a gallery that she never seems to go to the openings/receptions of other artists there or group shows.  I had to do some inner searching and seeking about this.  And I have...like I said over the last two months,  I looked at sales and how many piece I have in there and the prints...I've sold a few prints this year and last...the year before it was quite a few nice sales. 

I personal don't feel right exhibiting if I don't make the openings.....

I sent an email out just last week one more after eddying the whole things and I received an email back as to when do I want to pick up my art?  So if they can receive that email about me wanting to pull out what happened about the other email...(the one about a feature artist show?)  I can take rejections as of "No Laura that's not going to fit into our next year's agenda," it would be nice to hear that or something. But that's a negative way to look at it. I really haven't talked to them face to face because of my guilt of not showing up for the openings...Crazy but it's putting a blocker there for me to approach them. But I have to as my contract is up. I am approaching them about this they are not approaching me...so

Though after I sent the email out and received a response I set the date to pick up the art.  Tomorrow after my class I'll head into the city to pick up all the works.

                 Singing my Song is one of the piece I'll be picking up. 36 x 36 collage on canvas.

I have to say I was feeling confident about the choice I made, with picking up the work and this coming  weekend at Flying Pig, I'll have all my work back home. Now I'll be talking with them about continuing or not.  Regroup and then make some new choices about things is what I felt.

But this morning in my morning pages the words were signaling about loss, and then a negative bout came over me and I felt sad...I continued and then I remember that I had waited to here what direction to go in with this all and that morning after I made the choice to send the email I felt good about the choice.   I made a change where I felt I needed. I made a change for what I felt was about timing. After writing about it, my whole attitude turned positive...Still though not knowing what will be next I do trust in the intuitiveness of my choice...Now of course if art were selling like hot cakes in this gallery or my art was, I wouldn't be doing this.  Time to test the water some where else.

Moving into the Artist way with my class how wildly things work out, as of working with Blurts and the Censor and Negative feelings... My Rock said this morning... Fight the Shadows...well I feel as though I did.