Staying in the moment

I'm up at the hospital now with my husband. The girls were up this morning and possible this after noon they will all come up to visit the old fart...It's been a bit scary at times and mainly the way the mind has been playing tricks on him.  With the sodium levels so low the next step was a coma...as we pass with each day the seriousness of this all is coming out. The heart is still in afib as of irregular beats..But just last night and into this morning he's understanding it. The Neurologist came in, reminds me of my one friend I see out on the woods path...A wonderful elder, with a good rich sense of life and what's so important and it's the little moment between the mess bits.  No CT scan for this bad boy which is good, and praying for the heart to slip back into the normal range of  beats.  Which believe it or not the big bear is sleeping and calm, a bit of snoring going on which I'll have to remember how sweet that sounds later from today.

I have to say I've had some moments where I've wanted to blame point figures and start some drama.. but what's saved me is to say in just this day...as the old timers say..One day at time.. and what a blessing that is to just focus on this day.  If I can say this with out sounding weird I had to watch out for myself as I would head to the dark side of the thinking and started a roller coaster of thoughts heading for a train wreck before it ever need to be.   And then there were moments when the old Bear would get a bit nasty with the words and I had some hurt feelings...Had to go to the corner and let go of my Oh pour Me's...

Right now I've not be at peace like this and so in love with this man.. I'm a blessed woman..