Lonecrow Art

tending to the heart~

2012-02-01T07:24:00.002-06:00

"it's another Me Day!"

be back soon~

New series is emerging~

2012-01-31T07:34:00.002-06:00

Mystery Morning 10 x 30 collage on gesso board with cradle sides

Warrior Woman of the Woods, 10 x 30 collage on gessoboard with cradle sides

A little help from a friend, 12 x 12 collage on gesso board with cradle sides.

and the newest of the series is "Keeper of the Greens" 12 x 12 collage on wood panel.

In the studio this weekend

2012-01-30T07:11:00.001-06:00

This is a 12 x 12 wood panel that I've prepared to collage on, I decided to continue this with the piece I did before..I had another woman image to use but facing the other way. You can also see that machine stitching on the papers in this and the papers that are in this piece are from the print and collage class I'm teaching. Again my photo is a bit shabby...my son is taken a photography class now and I think he was exploring the camera and left the settings on something else...I need to have my other daughter reset it...I'm camera challenged for sure...just give me the basics and off I go.. there is more that has to go into this piece yet...so you get a sneak peek of the process.

I so needed to give this a try...you get a before the scene look at the tack down Tuesdays I'm working on...hint they will have the same papers in it as about or what is left over...sounds terrible left overs...but there great papers and scraps. I wanted to combine the Free Flow Mixed Media Collage with with the same style I'm using above in the photo...bring them all together so this is a experiment today.. Can't wait to get into the studio this afternoon.

I have my book club meeting this morning with some great gals..

we are into chapters 2 and 3...

it's great to meet face to face and sit and discuss the contents of the book every other week and though we may stray it's wonderful to change about life, our lives and where it all comes together...that the in between parts.. Creative is a Verb

as my youngest adult in the house says...toodles'

Week 8 of Walking in this World...keep demons at bay.

2012-01-29T10:37:00.001-06:00

Well this week couldn't have come at a better time for me on a bit of a growth step again...thank God I prayed to never go stale...and I'm on a continual journey of progress and process.

What does Discernment mean...

The act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment.

What does Fame mean...
The condition of being well known or much talked about; great reputation.

The real trap of fame is its irresistibly.— Ingrid Bengis.
As I stated before...my way of learning something is through repetitiveness...I've got to have it coming in a couple of different ways or repeat many times and then put it into use right way or it doesn't become concrete and I don't retain it as well...kind of jumbled up mess in the head but with some struggle I can break things down in fragments and use it when I need it.

So when I started reading this section of the week 8 this morning I was kind of blown away..fore warning you it's going to be a long post...

Making Art, Not "Making it"
As some foods are triggers for overeaters like me for some artist fame is a trigger food, or can be. When fame is sought for itself, we always will want more, more and more. When it occurs as the by-product of our work-which it does and often will-then it is more easily metabolized. But we must stay focused on what we are doing, not how.

When we are in the midst of making something, in the actual creative act, we know we are who and what we we are because we forget our public reception for a minute. We become the art itself instead of the artist who makes it. In the actual moment of making art, we are blessedly anonymous. Even when done in public the act of making art is a private act. Creativity is always between us and our creative energy, us and the creative powers working through us. When we are able to stay clearly and cleanly focused on that, then we are able to do very well.

Staying in this frame of mind is a goal of mine..

Ex: an actor forgets that when they aren't working they can write monologue, a one person show or learn to play piano, watercolor or create in clay. When we insist that we will express our creativity on only one field, or even one corner of one field, we lose sight of two things, our versatility and our opportunity. We tend to isolate and to brood, resentful over not being appreciated, resentful over not being chosen when we can actually make choices of our own that put our creative power, if not our "career, squarely back in our hands.

It is difficult to be depressed and in action at the same time.
If we are really serious about our art, then we need to be serious about making - not about being perceived as "a serious artist."

Self-respect lies in the writing and the playing, not in the reviews.
There is a point where I'm standing that I have to separate the promoting and being in the public eye or social media eye to keep things moving forward...it kind of comes easy but it's not something I enjoy doing more so it's part of process to get to the class room where I enjoy the teaching and sharing experience...which is not what and were my main focus is it be in the Public eye all the time but it sure seems like it don't it?

Public Eye... tells us the danger of focusing on "how am I doing? instead of "What am I doing?"

addressing the demons...When making art becomes about making a career and making a profit-not that we don't enjoy those as benefits-then making our art is someone else's responsibility, not our own. We need a "lucky break," we say. We fall into talking about the way it is in the business," and the odds against us, and the next thing that happens is that we feel powerless and depressed and mad- mad because we're not 'making it" fast enough. And we don't mean art.

This is where this morning journal writing came in handy as I was spilling out on the pages about being advised to get out there more and take some good advice from reputable people to submit my work to some well know places and I actually blew them off or lets be honesty. One of the places I submitted over 6 years ago and never heard from them, not even an letter and the other place I just didn't think I wanted to do it...Well got my ass in gear at the last minute and resubmitted a packet for a possible one person show in 2012-2013 year...which I was grateful for doing that and thankful for stern push that way...but there was a part of me that feel like all that was advice from these well meaning artists wasn't being true to authenticity self and lately that is more important to me then getting in the fame seen...though mind you it may seem that way I try to balance the humble reality of my life first.

OK so here it is...I've been asked am I afraid of o be success...? at one point when asked that I said Yes...cause in my eyes/mind success means being famous and being famous is being unapproachable. so big that you can't be around the common folk and be at peace and relate...and that's who I would like to have my art on their wall is people like myself..

Story time...Julia shares from week 8...

Clarence was a talented musician, so talented that "big things" had always been predicted for him. He played for "big names" on "big albums" and was always on the verge of his "big break" A chronic dissatisfaction that "it"- the really big break hadn't happened yet kept Clarence from every noticing and enjoying the many marvelous and exciting things that did happen.

His life looked glamorous from the outside but felt glamour-less on the inside. He didn't play music for the joy of it. He played it to impress a producer or to rack up another Grammy nomination.

The well advised ones have been suggesting that I might look at the time I'm putting in places verse what I would get if I went bigger...??? this is the big question for me "is going bigger what I want?" and where I'm to be going or doing? I know those that see feel there might and is more for me at a larger level but again...is that being true to me? or just my excuse?

Back to the story...Clarence caught himself thinking, there has to be more. And it was at this point that he saw the flyer calling for parents to help with the school pageant...Dare I say more?

Clarence reconnected to the joy that had made him an artist in the first place. He again came in contact with the generous part of himself that spilled out into music and self-expression. His art became about making something instead about "making it"

He now makes time every year for the children's music pageant. It gave him back the gift of giving by putting the "heart" back into his art.

This is why I commit myself to some kind of project to help the LaGrange Art League have a little fun..such as the Paper bundle project...the Make your Mark Journal Project and then next one is the Creative Prayer Flag Project..

Some might say that's a waste of time and talent and we see bigger things for you and where you going..Heck as I say this I think about what I potential see and say to my young adults...but then I'm reminded that they will get to where their suppose to be going with good orderly direction of their own and that to have a little fun a long the way and be with others is what's it's all about...not "Chasing the Fame Train"

Told you this was going to be a long one..

Julia continues...Focusing on the success as a business goal, we often lose sight of success in terms of our personal spiritual well-being. We focus "out there" rather than on our own inner experience. Doing that, we can become lost.

For myself this year I'm pumping the workshop and classes and exhibiting opportunities mainly because of the fine art of collage and keeping it out there for people to see that it is an art form..so keeping balance is the spiritual seeking I'm looking to reach...some may not see that in that light but it' doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things does it? I seek a bit of guidance every day to do the next right thing..and the next right thing my not be what well advised like minded people see for me but I'm only answering to a higher presences in my life that's has a bit more pull of things I feel then just well advised ones...and having some personal integrity and staying true as of to your authentic self may make you look as thought you don't care about the important information some one gave you...

Being comfortable in my own skin and more at home with myself...can that be a goal? sure it can and so easily I can be swayed but outside influence...so staying in check with myself with my morning journal writing is my grounding, my humble begins for the day.

Sharing this..Joy is the woman's name...She enjoys the process of making her art and finds "making it" a happy coincidence, not her goal. "Once I let go of my idea that making art was about making it, meaning fame, I began to make the art I wanted to make and that gave me something that looks an awful lot like the life I always wanted to have" Living the dream is what I call it.

When we are focused on making a career in the arts, we often forget that our artful nature is a gift we can bring to the personal as well as the professional realm. We write for a living but do not take the time to write letters to our friends. We draw for a living but use our artistic skill only on paid commissions. Hobbies are out the window as "too frivolous," and we focus seriously on our art, we become very serious indeed.

We don't need to devote years, months, days, or even hours to a connection project, but it is often true that art made from the heart leads us to more and more art. As we free ourselves from our "get serious" mold. we often encounter new energies and new interests. When art become a part of our greater life, we often discover greater life in our art.

so that's why I can't help myself sometimes when I have this ideas and have to carry them out such as the Make your Mark project....it's about all that I've shared above...and so hard to explain sometimes when you might hear from well meaning people that it was excuses for not going larger or bigger with where they think I should head...

Honey I don't want to lose out on the biggest part of living the dream and that's what I'm doing right now with my life... I am so grateful they pushed me to realize this and also to submit to a possible one person exhibiting opportunity for the future but growing to big for my pants isn't the goal I had in mind... sometime when you think that what people point out you should look at or change is really a good thing as it makes you take a look at who you are and where your really to be heading and living your life..

Ok time to go and have a good homestead day and play in my studio...go a new piece layed out and ready to go.. as of tacking that baby down..

Continuing the journey of Introspective work-Hope

2012-01-29T08:07:00.001-06:00

From The Gifts of Imperfection....
Hope...is not an emotion; it's a way of thinking of a cognitive process. Emotions play a supporting role, but home is really a thought process made up of what is a trilogy of goals, pathways, and agency. In very simple terms, hope happens when
     We have a the ability to set realistic goals (I know where I want to go).

      We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes ( I know how to get there, I'm persistent, and I can tolerate disappointment and try again.

       We believe in ourselves (I can do this!)

So hope is a combination of setting goals, having the tenacity and perseverance to pursue the, and believing in our abilities..

I read this this morning after spilling out 8 pages in my journal...some days are like that...kind gets bottled up and all the stuff comes out and there's this cleansing and clarity...that's way for me the continued spewing of nonsenses leads to good sense...

She goes on to say...Brene' Brown... Children most often learn hope from their parents. For children hopefulness needs relationships that are characterized by boundaries, consistency, and support. It's empowering to know that I have the ability she said, to teach my children how to hope. It's not a crapshoot. Its a conscious choice..

So grateful that with out knowing it this was instilled in our children because we had in out from our parents or picked up some of it along the way on our growing up.. there is still the perseverance that needs work in all of us to not give up so quickly and to believe in ourselves a bit more then throwing it all up for grabs right away...hang in there a bit long though it may not feels so good it will pass the ucky feelings of not getting it the first, second and third time but you will get it...and with great success.

Finishing Something - how good that feels-free flow creations

2012-01-27T07:12:00.000-06:00

The last session in week 7 of Walking in this World is about finishing something before you start a new.

As artists, we often complain about our inability to begin. If only I had the nerve to start X- a novel, a short story, a rewrite on a our play the photo series we're thinking," of. I would like to suggest that you start somewhere else-start with finishing something.

To funny that this comes up...I have my mileage from the year of traveling to and from place that I get to deduct on my income taxes and I'm almost done but not quiet...this just popped into my head as I'm re reading this session and typing it out..

I think this is true in other areas not just for artists. There must be some obscure law of physics that revs into action when artist finish something. The moment we finish something, we get a sort of celestrial pat-sometimes even a shove-a small booster rocket of energy to be applied elsewhere...

Now I've heard personal tending to reorganizing the medicine cabinet or cleaning out a glove compartment is like doing a esteemable act...an action for self...which then builds self esteem.. so no wonder you feel good..

Julia shares...How can you begin your thesis if you can't finish your mending or or fill out your grad school application if you shower curtain is stained and torn, half on and half off it's rings, while the new curtain waits expectantly folded on the toilet tank? here's where I question...only because I see the difference and just want to point it out...Some people will rush around and do all the homestead chores and then feel all drained out to do any art/creative work...but the differences my be that they are avoiding the creative work...with fear to start...and they have this anxiety that reves up and blocks them a bit...you know what I mean rushing and taking care of it all so that you have a block of time to create with out thinking about the homestead chores to do.

Verses finishing a un finished task and what that feels like to complete something...and they usually are small tasks that are almost finished but you got distracted for some reason and never finished them...

Julia shares...No wonder we drag our fee at the thought of starting something else...We've had too many false starts, too many half-finished, half hearted projects. And then I wonder is it just a.d.d. that causes it?

Story from the book week 7 - Christian, a young composer, had great enthusiasm and a great many projects. He was always racing ahead on some new musical theme, going full steam until something else caught his eye an that something became the focus of a new burst of energy. Christian was the kind of young artist often called "promising," but he was too fragmented to deliver on that promise.

"Clean up you arranging room the older composer advised him...Make systems. Put everything in order and give every scrap of work it's proper place"
Although he felt that he was wasting time and energy that he could be using on writing music, Christian grudgingly complied. As he began to assemble three ring binders and put all the work on each project carefully into place, a curious thing happened: self-respect began to rear it's noble head.
"I certainly have done a lot of work"...

Is that way I hear from my mom..."Finish what you started" an my obsession qualities has me making sure I try to do that well..not always but when I say I'm going to do something I'm on it...or is it just my obsession qualities...?

Christian felt a buzz of new energy. It felt like optimism but a bit more focused than optimism. It took him a while to name this new emotional component, but when he did he saw it was something different from inspiration, something more solid and firm then hope. "I felt determinations" Many things that has seemed vague and illusory now seemed squarely within his grasp.

Julia shares...On a concrete level, it can be done by the careful husbanding of what we have...this means that buttons get sewn on, hems get tacked up, smudges get scrubbed off door jambs. We make the very best of exactly what we have and we find that almost behind our back the Great Creator redoubles and reinforces our efforts and makes something even better. this is where the old adage
"God helps those who help themselves" can be tested and found to be true.

A body in motion remains in motion, and nowhere is this law more true than in creative endeavors. When we want to grease the creative wheels, we do very well to muster a little elbow grease elsewhere.

Finishing almost anything-sorting your CD collection, pumping up a bike tire, matching and mating you socks-create both order and inner order. "Now, start something," finishing something says"

Well I know just what this is talking about...and the determination feeling too...give it a try and see how it works...now to get back to the adding up for the mileage...I documented it but my stopping came up when I had to pull out the calculator to add and subtract numbers to get the total mileage of that trip or that day..when I guess I could have done that from the start when I record it as of now driving to my job today...I can deduct the mileage which is about 17 miles but do I do that or take the time...not I'm usually running around or rushing...so my choice on it but I do know when I finish that I will have a better feeling about other things..

Long posts lately.. I know...so this is a taste of what we will be working on today...really moving into the pieces instead of just working on the back ground...I've really moving slower on things as I've used gray white and black on this piece but the word of caution is the black..it's such a strong dominate color that you have to watch how you use it, especially when your creating a certain mood to your piece...a bit is good or a little dab will do you...so the last couple of classes we haven't even introduced the black because of that..

Can you see the pastel lines in there? and there is collage papers and a few image transfers already too.

I had a shadow going on in the bottom left hand corner you can see the warmer almost brown tone to the piece can't you..? Here in this piece the intermingling of the mediums is beginning to happen.. And that is where we are going to be...as of learning what medium to have on the surface for what effect...confusing I know but we so easily for get about the process in many aspect of our lives that I so love to break it down and really look at that...it's where the meat of the creation is...and to get people to slow down and not want to be so instant...which is counter balancing how to create this because the are very spontaneous piece of work...but what I mean is to break it down in to small steps to learn and then you can speed it up and have some fun with it...I think we will practice smearing on paint to with our spreading tools..so we get the hang of that...

Breakthroughs...Walking in this World

2012-01-26T08:05:00.000-06:00

I took the day off of working yesterday and spent some time with my dogs and myself...I visited the Elmhurst Art Museum and seen a collection and wonderful curated show...thing is I download the picture from my phone and silly me lost them as of it went into a shortcut mode and I can't open them in any program I have...adobe photo shop etc...darn it anyways...so it felt good to take a break...but things have to get done today...I need to write up a One day workshop and get that out like three day's ago to the Crystal Lake area place...Creative Artistry School of Fine Art...she would like to fit me in April but I have 1 day available to do that so with that I'm rushing my bottom off to get it read..

Even though there is work to be done I have the pattern locked in to do my creative spiritual home works and that is the artist way book-Walking in the World..I'm in the middle of week 7 so...here goes

Breakthroughs
One of the difficulties with the creative life is that when we have creative break through, they may look and even be experienced as breakdowns. Our normal, ordinary way of seeing ourselves and the world suddenly goes on tilt, and as it does, a new way of seeing and looking at things comes toward us. Scary, terrifying.... Sometimes this "new vision" can seem almost hallucinogenic in its persuasive shifting of perspective. What seems out of question no seems possible, even probable. It is as though we have had a strobe light sweep across our experience and freeze into bas relief ad certain previously unquestioned assumption.

Creativity is grounded not in dreamy vagueness but in piercing clarity. We "see" a piece of work and then we work to shape it. We "envision" a new direction and then we move toward it.

I'm questioning now if I can complete this spark of clarity that came to me as I have 2 of 5 I would like to complete 10 x 30 piece for the J2 gallery to exchange out the big piece I have there...it's great do the big piece, an challenge and a experience to push myself but in this market I will need to create something that people will be able to afford...had as it is to let go of them the series of 5 that came to me as I started working on new images of women was like that a flash and I went on that flash and complete some new images to use as transfer for my pieces. I still feel a bit scared about completing them as I have wonderful opportunities knocking at my door that I have to think about too...

Julia shares...As artists, we "see" things differently." In part, this is because we are looking.

Sometimes out strobe-light of clarity or breakthroughs show in other ways as...My gosh I'm going to marry this man? or this relationship is going no where? We "know" what's going to happen, but we cannot force time to match our perceptions- and we ourselves actually need time to become grounded and able to handle the change we have foreseen.

When strobe-light clarity hits an area of our life or out work we suddenly see the outlines of that arena with startling and heightened drama. Ex: why, I could paint this way! we gasp, or "My God, she has no intention of ever standing on her own two feet. I am not helping her. I am enabling her!. When strobe-light clarity hits, is is harsh but distorted. We get a quick and terrifying glimpse of the unfamiliar truth that has the same disorienting effect as the strobe light flashed across the dance floor-everything jerks into new positions without our seeing the transitions.

sounds so scary but the breakthroughs I've had and recall come on fast like this and then there are the silencing of my inner self to listen and small nudges guide me...so crazy to learn about how something work and happen..it's hard to believe unless you go through it...and that's way it's about a break through and the clarity it brings.

Here's the are of concern....When we have such dramatic breakthroughs in our creative and personal reality we must take care to integrate and absorb their meaning before action on them...I can think of a few moment that clarity came to me like braking through the thick denial....of self imposed opinion I have about something and then Bam! you see it a different way and your kind of like in shock...you have to have time to register all that happened and sort out...this is where I personal need a game plan as I call it...something I can hold on to that I can take manageable steps that are grounded.

New Growth is afoot! Instead of being unable "to see the forest for the trees," we suddenly see both the forest and the trees. My God, I could include photographic snippets in my painting surfaces, we think... We suddenly "know."

When we get a flash of strobe-light clarity, walls fall away. We see suddenly that we" can" do what we "couldn't" a moment before.

This is real..."We suddenly get just a glimmer of where we are heading and that new growth is possible, even impeding at our advanced age-whatever it is.

When you are in the grips of a sudden and startling flash of clarity, move slowly and gently with yourself so that you do not bolt in terror, tripping on furniture of you consciousness.

Julia shares...Breakthroughs are not breakdowns. They just feel that way. Remember, you, too are breakable. Be gentle with yourself while you grow accustomed to your new mental and emotional terrain.

Wow that's a lot to think about and I know it's hard to look at sometimes ourselves that is when there are kids to pick up dinners to make a job to go to every day and a whole basket of other stuff. But I feel this is about knowing yourself and trusting you GUT..and when things start to nudge you to "see" take a look at it...listen to it.

OK off to get my work done and ready for tomorrow's class...I'm really grateful for the opportunities that have made themselves present and that I'm saying yes to..hard as it is to juggle it's great to be working and doing what I love to do..

Day off-Doctors orders......

2012-01-25T07:41:00.001-06:00

1. the photo on top is the papers I printed yesterday in class...it's done on the New York Times..and I keep layering the acrylics up first with a scraper I swiped the paint on and had a good time pulling it across..really getting the arm and letting out a bit under line energy so the good stuff could come to the top...and then I keep inking up plates and having a ball working with the colors..

2. that is the piece I did in class working with the other papers...smaller piece done on mat board 8 x 8, was a scrap center from my tack down Tuesday mats. I laid the papers at the end and I'm kind of like the combo..there as you can see it's the same from the time...I might need to attach that today..later on.. just working on composition and what lay out to start with ...this is horizontal and vertical with a grid format..

So the inner doctor, intiution or gut is saying time for a day off...much work to get done but if I don't play and expereince what the real world is doing I will become a bit stuffy...so best take the advice and have a some adventure today...shower...breakfast...fourlegged loves for a running in the park with other like minded fourleggeds and then some running around..postoffice, bank and gas..and then to pick up artwork at the photographers and to the museum in Elmhurst...great show there...

"Bustin' a move to keep in the groove"

working with a plate and printing collage papers

2012-01-24T07:05:00.001-06:00

Here is a plate that I made a while back for the class today...we are using a wide assortment of plates and homemade stamping materials to create collage papers to use in our work. These papers here are a few of the sample ones I made..the concept on this papers is not to just print once it's about the multi layers added some up to 10 times.. You really let go of each layer you before.

Today I will add more with some stamping to the these piece. We used Deli sheet or dry wax sheets of paper there on the smaller side of 12 x 12 so it's great for using some 12 x 12 tiles for working off of from the local hardware store.

This is learned from Anne Bagby's new DVD.. we added our own spin to things and there's some great papers being printed out.. Can't wait to see how everyone likes what they did...I know I was seeing some great papers.

Collage Demo at LaGrange Art League yesterday

2012-01-23T08:43:00.002-06:00

Well I'm tooting my horn...as I guess I broke a record for the most attendee at a demonstration for a long time..I guess there was 35 people that showed up...I was bit nervous but that's a norm for me...just about being attentive to all that I need to do.... Once I'm up there I'm in the zone...love it, love it, love it.
To see the fresh face in the art league was a great thing...and some of the old time members came and seen what I do, and how I do it and were pretty surprised...and heard a few say, "that looks like fun." I'm happy for the art leagues which are always struggling to keep the heads about water being non for profit and all that fresh faces and new energy begets more new energy...so with that I've got to get my energy going around the homestead today and get ready for class tomorrow...much excitement.

The piece you see above was a piece I created in on of my classes and actually one of the students in the call bought...it's called...She settles...if you click on the picture you can see the words in the rock area..

Sustaining, consistent, positive action...week 7

2012-01-23T08:05:00.000-06:00

I'm hooked...though I've been spending a boat load of time lately in the books and deep in thought I can't stop and I have to tell you that I'm find a calm spot more quickly and it feels like a good pair of warn denim jeans that fit the body good. so with that I move on to Week 7.

Discovering a sense of Momentum

Creativity thrives on small, do-able actions and if I may correct this Life thrives on small, do-able acts too. Not just in a creative life unless you look at your life on a creative scale then it fits right in.. This week dismantles procrastination as a Major creative block. The readings and tasks aim at the sense of personal accountability and accomplishment. The key to a creative LIFE is sustained, consistent, positive action. This is possible for all of us..

What a promise that is..

Easy Does it, But do it: Flow

I know that Julia uses the word artists but this fits in my eyes for everyone...so here goes. Most artists get blocked (procrastinate) not because they have too few ideas but because they have too many. Our competing ideas create a sort of logjam-and that is why we feel stuck. When we think about a project, we think, I could try this and this and this and maybe I could try this and this and this and, Oh I could try that, and then what if and Oh, dear...

Oh dear, is the clutch freezing up..leaving us stuck an immobilized or we start to whir frantically.
You might notice your friends asking you, "Why are you so angry?" I'm angry because I was overwhelmed, I was overwhelmed because I had so many ideas about what I could do that I was panicked.

Whenever you feel stymied, stuck or frantic, remind yourself that is the result of having too many good ideas-even if it feels like you have no good ideas at all.

The trick is to establish a gentle flow, to keep the gentle flow trickling forward. This keeps the dammed -up ideas from bursting through and flooding you.

Easy does do it...gently you must take some small step or the ideas will remain jammed up an the creative pressure behind the jam will continue to escalate. Which can lead to attacks of self-doubt, and self-loathing...

What you are trying to do is move energy out of you. That is what starts the logjam gently moving.

this is the truth...
Julia shares...In our culture, we are trained to deal with anxiety by always putting more in. A drink, a shopping spree, a rendezvous with Haaden-dazs we tend to medicate our anxieties, not listen to them... I surely can relate with this...but it's life long pattern passed down from other generation to put in at this times...hard habit to break...let me tell you. Being a journal writer way before being introduced to the artist way I would do that as of letting out...and I've learned more and more now with the artist way books about the morning pages to do just that...though it may take a few days to really get it all out but there is a great release when I do that.

Julia share's this....Think of a balloon that's too full. If you let air out, it zips ahead. If you blow more air in, things pop. When you feel tense and stuck, you life is like that too-taut, overfilled balloon. You are stretched too tight. this is why you can not let in the well-meaning words of friends. This why the chatter of neighbor drives you suddenly so crazy. This is why you are a hair trigger. You are too full of creative energy and you need to gently siphon some off. Take a walk and remind yourself: 1. I do have good ideas..2. I have many good ideas. 3. slowly and gently, one at time, I can execute them.
I know I need a walk and because of the weather I've not been able to... but it does have a way with me when I walk...all the forward movement and the time alone allows me to gently move into the present and know what small act to do first.

Here's something to remember...The truer the dream, the more creative pressure it has, and the more important it is to begin with small actions to keep them from getting frozen up. Don't just talk...Do. You need to express yourself in some concrete small way.
ideas might be to do some personal homestead chores..something small to get the energy moving out..fold laundry. sort a drawer or dust. When you take the time to husband the details of our lives, we may encounter a sense of grace... God..or good orderly direction as some call it.

With all the creative and life stuff...what I have to realize is this as Julia shares...I learn too yield to the little dailiness and it helps keep it flowing technique, I slowed way down and my productivity speeded way up. I watch my youngest adult daughter of 20 do this...when she's got a very busy schedule she will do the house dishes, clean her room and even sometimes clean the bathroom it helps her sort and get organize and then she's knock your socks off...she also has a great self-esteem which is so visible and I think with out realizing it I've done this for a long time...and I've heard it as " if you want to keep sane...do the mundane..." you know the homestead chores..and then it all slowly falls into place..

so I suggest trying it out to see how it works...Easy does it but do it!

Lastly for this section...What we are after with this task is the experience of using stuck energy in a productive way, however small. Once we realize that our sense of being stymied by the outer world can actually be altered by simple and small actions on our own part, we begin to have more faith in the benevolence of the universe itself. In other words, if God is in the details, we have better be there ourselves.

OK thanks for reading my lengthy ramblings...a blog can be many things and for me It's my source of spilling it out to better understand it...I read things but I need to take notes and then I need to really write it out so I'm bring it in three times...I'm a repeat learning...and then if I can discuss it with some people then I really understand it..so for right now it's like it is...

On with the Monday's list of things to do and accomplish..it's my job today...and some studio time..

Different topic-Unity...

2012-01-22T08:05:00.000-06:00

Unity-condition of being one: the state or condition of being one

combination into one: the combining or joining of separate things or entities to form one
something whole: something whole or complete formed by combining or joining separate things or entities

Been looking in to the Whole family unit things and where our family is stepping back and looking at it as whole...and the changes it's gone through and still will go through...it's like it's got a live of it's own..Family that is...with all this once little beings running around clinging to my legs and now past the driver's ed and filling out college papers, which I never did with them they did on there own...stressful as it is I was a pile of jumble words when I read it...Well anyways I won't go into my dyslexia issues, so back to Family and the the word Unity... with young adults all over 20 still living in the homestead...I'm not complaining one bit...we're doing it but the changes is always upon us as each individual person makes a choice for themselves little do we realize how it all effects us as a unity...Of course it would be very different if they moved out of the homestead and started their own little unity thing with themselves and other human beings. For now though we are adjusting to the every changing unity...and some days are less united then others. I'm way pass the stage now where I can put my mothering big thumb down and spin the world on them... I am learning about respecting the individual young people living under the roof which is something we all are learning..but I do still have a bit of pull in this picture...As is stated in some quote "If Moma isn't happy their isn't going to be anyone that is happy" with that said...the mother and father roles do set the president or principle for the family as a unity...so early on I worked at keeping my attitude as happy as I could be and it is so true how it effect the family. Now with our growth and unity a bit shaky I look at the changes I can make that if I do that in myself it will have effects on the rest of the Unity...

So this is where I ask myself about my thoughts on What is the Common Welfare of my family unit I see in my eyes right now.

1. we are a source of support
2. a listening ear
3. help in fixing other problems or guiding each other on how
4. a source of love
5. communications
6. respect
7. security
8. acceptance
9. trust
10. survival
11. friendship
12. connection
13.companionship

I'm sure there are more but when I think about this and in no certain order and make them the words and there meaning more present in my day and interaction with them I've just started a chain reaction to things..I'm not all important but if I have a changed attitude with how I'm thinking towards each and every family member their is bound to be some good results. Now mind you our family unit isn't falling apart...not by far but with the changes that are being made on individual bases it effects these core elements to what I feel is the common welfare of our unity as a family. Why am I sharing this...you got me it just where I'm at in my thinking lately...and then I ask myself why not? why not look at this.
OK time to look at the Sunday paper and easy into the day and the demo I'm presenting later.

Collage Demonstration at LaGrange Art League -today

2012-01-22T07:37:00.000-06:00

I will be presenting a collage demonstration as LaGrange Art League today around 2:00pm. The weather isn't going to be to favorable for that as I hear rain is coming in and then changing to snow..so hopeful the demo will be done by then, but if now I'll be there doing my thing...

This piece is called ASE..simple for a experiement I wanted to start playing around and bring some line in there with ink instead of just using the line of the papers.

Last of the pictures.

2012-01-21T07:39:00.003-06:00

This was set up for a meeting..but they exhibit artwork every month here.

The Ceilings isn't finished because their restoring it like at Mayslake Peabody Estate.

Some nice works

then I got a wandering and found the back room and there are some sleds...dog sleds? maybe?

And the intercom systems a bit dated.

Well today it's getting the homestead in some kind of order...and preparing some demo papers for the Demo I have tomorrow at LaGrange Art League...and enjoying the winter weather.

More pictures from my road trip to Crystal Lake

2012-01-21T07:39:00.001-06:00

Over the front door of the Dole Mansion..

Front of the Mansion.

Back of the Mansion

Back of the Creative Artistry School of Fine Art. which is right behind the Dole Mansion

Entrance

Trip to Crystal Lake IL

2012-01-20T19:31:00.000-06:00

Outside the Creative Artistry School of Fine Art

From the front door looking to the right.

Standing on the side of the room I just took the picture of, facing now tot he front door by the red railing there.

Same corner as above but looking now to the back of the cottage.

back room where the drying racks are and standing next to the refrigerator there with the collage effect.

Standing in the back of the room looking toward the front of the cottage

One of the rooms up stairs.

The kitchen session.

I really connected with Amber the Artistry director and know I feel that I would be able to present a workshop for them up there but need to wait and see how thing work out with scheduling.. between my own schedule and the Artistry schedule.

The End of Week Six

2012-01-20T18:53:00.000-06:00

Inflow-Walking in this World, Week 6, sections 2 and 3

Ours is a stimulation world-often and overstimulating one. Cell phones, radio, televisions, social media our families, our friends, and our jobs all are potential sources of stress and sensory overload. Julia asks..Have you every heard yourself say "I can't here myself think?" Our deeper selves are muffled, over taxed, and overextended. Our sensibilities are stripped of their fine tuning. We become numb to our own responses and reactions. Life is "too much" for many of us.

Julia shares.. The act of making art requires sensitivity, and when we cultivate sufficient sensitivity for our art, we often find that the tumult of life takes a very high toll on our psyches. Our energies are drained not by coping with our output of creative energy but from coping with the ceaseless inflow of distractions and distresses that bid for out time, attentions and emotional involvement. As artists, we are great listeners, and as the volume is pitched too high our inner ear and our inner work suffers.

When a creative artist is fatigued, it is often from too much inflow, not to much outflow..This is the truth, as I teach or do workshop etc...I need to have time away from it and solitude to calm and center myself...I know the feeling I get is a feeling of disconnected. The best way I can reconnect is to walk in the woods.

Julia continues...We may need to draw more boundaries than many people, and those who love us must be conscious that unless they can respect this, they are not a friend at all. I can share that when the Husband is out rebuilding a motorcycle I know he's trying to working out creative problem solving with his customize bike building. . As for me I have to state that I'm in the process and what I'm working on so that I have a couple of hours for me to work on that. We are blessed with that respect for each other.

Julia shares from Virgina Woolf...All artists need a room of their own. An artist requires solitude and quiet-which is different from solemnity and isolation. Artists require respect for their thoughts and their process, but that respect must start with us. An Artist needs to be treated well-but often we are the ones who must begin that treatment, and one way we do it is by carefully setting our own value on how much inflow is allowed to come into us. I personal could so easily get sucked in to more social media site then what I do...I have to watch that...I do value my time to accomplish what is on my list and when I sit way too long in theses arenas, then I rush around trying to make up for the time I wasted and I actually feel ill...

One of the small things that Julia ask you do give a try is to shut off everything say only half an hours to start with. and turn into yourself. I know there are days when I finally get back up into the studio and I've been involved in a whole lot of stressful things that is described above...I do go into the studio and create in silence and work with my inner guidance.. it is another way to regain the balance and connection. For me it's important stay in tune with this behavior that sneaks up on you if your not aware of the values you would like to keep for yourself.

My journal for the new year... My last journal lasted from Nov 6th till this day Jan 20th.. I do morning pages every day. This one is made from the hard cover of old books..I use the inside of the books in my collage work.

Day Job

If we do not limit our inflow, we become swamped by the life demands of others. If we practice too much solitude,we risk being flooded by stagnation ans a moody narcissism as our life and our art become emptied of all but the High question" How am I doing?" What wee are after is a balance, enough containment and autonomy to make our art, enough involvement and immersion in community to have someone and something to make art for.

As artists, we need life, or our art is lifeless.
Art thrives on life. Life feeds it. enriches it, enlarges it.
We talk about self-expression, but we must develop self to express. A self is developed not only alone, but in community.

it was Chekhov that advised younger actors: "If you want to work on your art, work on yourself". here I thought it was Julia that said that...well it doesn't matter it sure is true. She shares more "he meant we ought to do those things that develop in us creative sinew. A day job can do that. so can some committed community services. So can taking time to practice the art of listening to something other than our own concerns. A day job requires that skill. I've heard get out of yourself once and a while.

In our cash-conscious culture, we have a mythology that says you must be a full time artist to be a real artist. We hear this to mean "no day jobs." The actual truth is we are full-time artists. Art is a matter of consciousness. Julia shares.. A friend of mine gets cranky when he is separated to long from his piano. He's also gets cranky when he is closeted too long with his piano. Our love affair with our art is like any other love affair-it needs separation as much as it needs togetherness.

Life is not linear. Our Artist's Way is a long and winding road, and we travel it best in the company of others, engaged not in the inner movies of the ego but in the outer-directed attention that fills the well with images and stocks the imagination with stories. Rather than yearning to be "full-time artist," We might aspire to being full-time humans. When we do, art is the overflow of a heart filled with life.
That day job may mot be millstone after all. It might be a life-support system.

With classes starting up this past two weeks I needed to put a full focus on that and now that they are going I can get back to my introspective work in the Second book of the Artist way series..

running late

2012-01-20T07:50:00.001-06:00

Spent some good quality time with our second oldest this morning talking about life's messy bits and need to bust a move for class today..

I plan on sharing about the Creative Artistry School of Fine Art...it was joy and I've got pictures.

A bit of fun yesterday

2012-01-19T06:25:00.000-06:00

I had a million and one things going on yesterday and I checked everything off my list..well the journal making only got the signature folded but not stitched for the Coptic stitch journals I make.. so I'll be working on that the next few days. Running low on pages to write with in the morning.

I ended up with a little extra time to do some walking around Clarendon Hills shops. I walked by and empty store front and I was quickly drawn to peek in and see that the floors were fake wood, but looked nice and the walls were white with some pedestals and a really nice half round counter in the back of the space...Wow that would make for a nice gallery spot...but not for 2400.00 a month rent...just a bit to hard to sell the art that fast to make a month fee like that.

I continued to the resale shop didn't find anything in there but chatted with the store clerk. Nice lady and then went across the street to the English Gardener purchased the blue butterfly, though it's fake I just love the way it moves...you plug it in and the wings ever so gently will open and close.."it had me," hooked me in..while I was watching the display...so I looked to see the ones they had available and got the blue one...From the rain forests of Australia.

I went into the next store and was amazed at the window display of these books that pages were folded. Some what like the reader digest my mom would fold, like a evergreen and spray paint them for Christmas time. I had my little list with me and always a pen in my pocket of my jacket I quickly sketched the things I saw that attracted me...I redrew them when I got home to slip in to my other sketch book..or I might even glue them down...Any ways the store clerk was a bit worry that I was another store owner snipping on her store..and taking her ideas. Well, I'm not a store owner and I was capture this little ideas for whatever I don't know yet but they caught my eye and I'm praciticing sketch quickly and letting go of the perfection and just doing it...

I'll be heading out this morning which I'm excited about, as I'm going to check out a place in Crystal Lakes, Creative Artistry School of Fine Art. I'm going to see if their a fit for me to present a workshop at and their going to see if I'm a good fit for them to teach a workshop...Interview today!

What's funny is I'm not scared about this like some might think one would be for an interview...more so I'm looking for a spot that would be able to house the space I need...Once I've got the space... look out I'll present a kick ass workshop for them...Well I sound full of myself don't I...but no really it's where I thrive is in the class room setting or in a studio...

I've not heard back for the Lake Geneva Art place ...hmm I think they forgot to send photo's and it's only open on the weekends hard to drop in and see the place.

So now off to get ready for the road trip...leaving way to early but we've got some snow on the ground and more coming down and the temp is to drop this afternoon so best allow time for the travel...I'll bring something to read..which I have a pile of "to - read" kind of stuff that I dont' have time for usually but want to...slow reader...

No photo's

2012-01-18T07:28:00.001-06:00

I'm not very happy about that...got so involved in the process and creating that by the time it was to clean up that's when the camera was staring me in the face...dang...upsets me a bit..the Students were printing their hearts out and really turning out some great papers for collaging..

Got some running around to do today...and one of my calendars got lost in the mail...or something so need to resend one..what can you do..bite the bullet and correct what you can and keep moving forward.

I'm hoping to get two piece in to the photographer today so I can get them shot...special deal this week..so need to clear coat the sides and add the hanging material to the back and then it should be ready...

busting the move and before you know it...it's time to think about what's for dinner...loving it all though and living the dream.. very grateful.

Printing today

2012-01-17T06:25:00.000-06:00

I sent all my students home to make plates for the printing session we will have today..but first they get a taste of the tacking down process...we will make some small samples just so they get a taste of where all those papers they have made and are making today...should be a good time...I will try to bring my camera...been a bit if a swiss cheese head lately....

I've also been having a grand time with my walking poles and the woods medicine...been pretty luck to have the whole woods free of other humans...not their now kind souls it's just really neat when you feel like it's just you and the woods and all the wonder happening.

Monday morning

2012-01-16T07:26:00.000-06:00

The list is going and how crazy is that...well with the beginning of the year all things need to be turned in and new opportunities for exhibiting and teaching and presenting of workshops. I received a nice email other day asking me if I want to teach a workshop in Crystal Lake...hmmmm, that sounded exciting so this Thursday I'm doing a road trip up to Crystal lake to check it out...there's a place in Lake Geneva too but I've not heard back from them Maybe I should see and do a full day of it.. that could happen.

In the homestead...there was joyful laughter in the kitchen last night as the young adults were all playing apples for apples. That is so good to hear...they say Laughter is the language of the Heart...it was music to my ears. So Hank...our black great dane seems to be going in to his last growth spurt as he started tearing up the extra bedspread I put on our bed daily so when he sleeps up there...and I came home there was stuffing/bedding all over the place..And Hanks rear end was jacked up and his chest area was all jiggly like puppy skin...and Hank is 19 mo. now but they say bigger breed dogs can grow all the way till they are two and he's not done with it...he's putting some meat and more height on...I can't tell mainly when I'm sitting at the table where his head comes to my head...I love it all though, call us crazy but the husband does too. Did you ever think when you were younger and wanted a horse or pony of your own...we've got one now..and it a delight. When you watch Scooby Do and see the goofiness of Scooby you can understand where it came from..

Had to run in to the city yesterday to pick up my one piece that was in the show at J2 Gallery...it's always good to chat with Chris the Gallery owner...Nice people there. and a Beautiful gallery.

Well enough rambling from me...got things to do so best bust a move...

Hard to capture the real thing

2012-01-15T07:57:00.000-06:00

It's been few days since I've walked the path and I need to bring some inner turmoil to the woods to seek some guidance about and I think I received it and in a very gentle and calm way. I've not used my walking poles since last winter, it felt great to use them to keep stable and also to work other body parts that surely needed it, a bit sore this morning but a really good kind of sore. As I walked along the snowy path there in the center of the path was a little mouse...My mind was brought instantly to a book that I so love and have.

I really need to find the book on my bookshelf and read it...a message is to be found in there. Well I continued to walk and stop I was the only human out on the path for two hours so it was so peaceful to stop and listen the chatter from the nuthatches and the woodpeckers...and a few blue jay's too.

After taking the picture of the little mouse on the trail which was frozen fresh, I looked up and seen 4 deer bedded down but by the time I got my phone out and got ready to snapped a picture they were all standing up on the ridge. I then seen they were all bucks. One large one on you left and to yearlings and then a medium sized one...watching and standing oh so still...one of the protective behaviors they will do...if they don't move then they think you can't see them..be still which works well in the thickness of the spring and summer growth but in the winter time I was taught to look for the horizontal lines it will help you see the deer...as everything in the woods is more vertical.

So refreshed and with new perspective on my life and what is needed I walk away only to revisit again today...nothing like feeling the enviornment you live in...being part of life in it's riches form. Like holding a new born..the time in the woods is so special to me.

a sense of boundaries...

2012-01-15T07:26:00.000-06:00

Discovering a Sense of Boundaries
Creativity requires vigilant self-nurturing. the damaging impact of toxic inflow must be countered and neutralized. This week's readings and tasks focus on helping us to interact with the world in ways that minimize negativity and maximize productive stimulation.

The self-nurturing part and minimize the negativity and maximize the productive. That caught my attention right way. I seem to have strayed from the on-line group a bit mainly for this self-nurturing, I found I wasn't at the same places some were and not that I couldn't relate but I found that my personal needs, took president to what was going on with the group..so I did the Lone thing again...have a pattern of doing that...be it protective or just self-care. I really can't stray from projects that are just about to get started and others that are in motion already...so I walk this journey with the artist way, Walking in the world a lone...which I'm finding great strength and self knowing..So now to the first section to the week 6 chapter.

Containment, lies in our connection, personal and private to the divine. Well for me, my creating is a process that does connection with the good orderly direction or some call God... I've heard of the word EGO...which stands for Easy God Out and I sure can tell when I get a bit of that happening in my work..so I would like to just stick with what works..the connection made passionately and intimately with my creator and creating. Julia shares: Making a piece of art requires two very different forms of intelligence-the largeness of vision to conceptualize a project and the precision and specificity to bring that project fully and carefully to focused form.

Material-song, book, painting, needs time to evolve and find it's own feet. As artists, we must be very careful to protect ourselves and our work from premature questions and assumptions. In order for a persons or projects to grow, they require a safe container. Both person and a project need a roof over their head. both a person and project need walls for privacy. Just as it is uncomfortable to have people enter your home when it is in chaotic disarray ("Oh, my Lord! what is my red lace bra doing on the piano?!") it creates embarrassment and discomfort to show a project too early to too many people. What's worse, it's risky. Projects are brainchildren. They deserve our protection.

I'm fortunate to have the young adults in the homestead still where I can show them something that is in process and feel safe with that.. And my Oldest will say what she feels about the piece, which I can handle.. at the time of showing a piece I'm working on in a very early stage. It's usually to show a new technique that worked or something like that.. my family is my believing mirrors whom I trust.
Our creations, there our brainchildren and we are part growing along with it too.

it's best to find some people that really are where you are at or have walked that path before to show your young piece of art, song, or book to. As those that are their mean well, honestly they just don't understand...and not that I would be looking only for the people that could say the right words I'm seeking to here..I'm looking for others that have walked before and really feel the path I'm about to take, with my piece of art or a new venture/event...and when I can't find someone then I have to trust in all that I know and have gone through and wing it..and seek good orderly direction along the way..stopping and taking breaks and asking from my heart what the next move would be..

As artists, we are open-minded but we need not be gullible. Julia states, many of the people purporting to be able to help us shape our craft have very little experience with crafting something themselves. What we are looking for is people who have done what we want to do..not someone who has watched others do it...hard sometimes to find that someone.

It is experience that teaches what a tremor means and what it does not. As artists, we must find people who can share actual experience rather than a sanitized, dramatized, glorified or press-filtered version. "Am I opening myself or my art to early and improper input, input that is ungrounded or inappropriate? "Do they really know more about what I am doing than I do?"

Cooking images are very apt and very clear: "too many cooks spoil the broth," being a homelier way of saying "practice containment." Keep your creative ingredients your own. Julia says: you do not want people prematurely tasting your project and making worried little murmurs. You do not want their ingredients added before you have done what you want with the ingredients you yourself chose.
One of the most useful creative laws I know is this: "The first rule of magic is containment"

Practicing containment
Most blocked creatives are blocked not by the lack of talent but by a lack of containment. Rather than practice decrement and discretion in whom we choose to show a project to, we throw open the doors and welcome comments from all corners. if we look closely at why we have abandoned certain projects and dreams, we can often find the offender-the ruthless commentator that caused us to lose heart.
Julia's suggest is to create a God Jar...and anything that your incubating creatively you should write on a piece of paper and out into that God Jar...

I've got one of those God Jars on my drawing table with some really neat things in there.. what's so funny is I put stuff in there and how things all worked out from where I was a year ago with putting a project in there at it's early stages till how it turned out...kind of fun to see..

Into the green thing...Lucky Number 17

2012-01-13T15:07:00.001-06:00

Lucky number 17
demo piece today in the class,
Free Flow Mixed Media Collage Class.

This class is set up the collage artist to use up some of there collage scraps and exploring the intermingling of the mediums, mat and polymer some image transfers and pastels are used...we just staring today with the back grounds and will work in them rest as we go along...small steps.

Free Flow Mixed Media Collage-LaGrange Art League

2012-01-13T05:53:00.003-06:00

Class starts today, I'm excited. Creating in this style of work is really fun. We will be working on the back grounds after I go through my intro and a few little exercises to warm everyone up..

Depending on the amount of time we many only get a under line base coat of color usually two but maybe three. You can see I've come back in after the paint was dried and made some compositional gesture lines.

You can see how the gesture lines have turned in to the guidance of the direction for the rest of the layout.

Intertwining the layers from paint, pastel, to collage papers and then image transfers and back into any one of the other mixed mediums to achieve a desired composition. The congested area on the lower left corner is where all the commotion is at and then it cycles up and out with help from the gesture lines made by the pastel pencils and you flow around and around. Though you many stop from time to time looking at other aspect to the piece the majority of the composition leads you around the surface you are looking at...and what's in the composition and now you use that can help you create a pleasing piece of art. And it's OK to have open spaces in you work as this one above has...it's away to create the sense of space in the piece and a place of calm..not all places on a good composition have to have something going on all the time..We wouldn't be able to handle it. Check it out the next time you look at art see if to much is going on and you have to turn away...then again it might depend on the style of art too. like these piece above are abstract and they do have a tendency to turn people away because they have the ability to stir emotion in the view that they are not ready for.

Learning to work with value is a great practice, if art is lways the same value it would look flat and lifeless...even looking at a loved one face..the skin is not all the same value. You can create the value in color too not just gray scale. When creating in color you have a Monochromatic piece of art.. which can be a good study practice for anyone wanting to learn. Monochromatic is using one color and toning and tinting with white and black which in the gray scale it is the use of the intensity of the Blackest black to the lightest white. Creating range in the color or Hue as some call it.

Well you can tell I'm prepping up for class. Got to bust a move now...need a shower and get my Little transit out of the drive way and off to work..

Last section of week Five in Walking in the World...

2012-01-12T18:39:00.001-06:00

Energy Debts

Julia shares: as artist we must think of our energy as away people think of money. Artists are natural spendthrift. And artist must return enough to the innerwell to feel a sense of well-being. I sure can contest to that today..and the snowmade me want to reach for comfort which I did with some homemade chicken soupand a day in the studio.. The husband is out plowing now some of the youngadults are working some are at Night College and one I think is having some funwith a friend. So the house is quiet with the critters and me…No T.V. that is ablessing. But I came down after being the studio for a good 7 hours and feltrefreshed and quickly picked up some of the house and through a few loads in thedryer and washer. With all the new classes and things in full motion for me, Iknew I needed that replenishing of the creative spirit. S

Julia share what is getting drained is our creative bank account…so with a gut feeling today I know where Ibelonged. And great progress was had. The whole weeks essay has to deal withour personal territory which only we can keep an eye on. Artists musthusband our energy as carefully as our money. We must spend it along lines thatare personally and creatively rewarding. We must invest it wisely in people andprojects that return our investment with measurable satisfactions, growth, and achievement.

For the elder artists who teach and mentor, the rewardsare real, but the demands can be unrealistic. In their desire to give, they mayexpand more than they can refund to themselves. A student who thoughtlessly misses lessons and expects and demandsrescheduling can tip the balance from possible to impossible in a teacher’sbusy schedule.

When we are unhappy in a relationship, when we “blowthings out of proportion,” it is because the proportions with in the relationship,and perhaps in our life as a whole, are somewhat skewed. We are not crazy, butsomething is. We feel drained because we are drained.

Writers must write, Piano players must play piano.Painters must paint and singers must sing. We can use our creative energy inthe support of others, but if our artist gets lost in the transaction, if ouraid and support is treated a generic cheerleading, if we are not acknowledgedand nurtured in a return in a way that fits our actual personal needs, then weare being inadvertently battered.

Here is where I haveto watch it…Ours is a culture that tells us “bigger is always better” andthat more” is better too. As artists, big is not always better and more issometimes less. As artists, when we over diversify, we also grow diffused. Thename we have worked so hard to make means less as it is stretched toothin-along with our energies-in the name of being a “good sport”, a “good guy”a mensch.

Without sufficient containment for our own temperamentsto thrive, without physical and psychic walls to shield us from the demands anddramas of others, we become over stressed. Our nerves short-circuit and outideas lash like live wires, we are filled with energy, but it’s not groundedand usable. Our art suffers and so do we. When we begin to set boundaries –no calls after eleven, not calls beforeeight, no work on Saturdays, and no on-demand makeup lessons for missedclasses-we begin to experience a sense of faith. Why? Because we feelsafe. It is hard to have faith in thefuture when we h have no charity for ourselves in the present.

I love this part… Whenwe insist on playing God by trying to be all-powerful and all-understanding andall giving and all things to all people, God can work no miracles in our ownlives, because we never allow the time or space to let a divine hand enter ouraffairs.

If you want to workon your art, work on your life…and this is a biggie to work and balance…Can’tsay I have all this mastered but I really do get it when I do and it is awonderful moment of feeling safe and with faith. Well it’s dinner time and as Isaid before I’m having a bowl of homemade chicken soup…Life is good and prayersfor those that are dealing with some sickness, and need healing.

Today's solitude..

2012-01-12T15:51:00.002-06:00

10 x 30 collage on clay board

"Warrior Woods Woman"
quick shot, blurry..

for the soul of an artist

2012-01-12T08:23:00.000-06:00

a day of solitude....

Recharging because it's called for...after taking some what the month of December off and all the beginning of the year stuff getting set and schedules on the calendar filling up...the call to the woods is strong and a call to replenish my personal well...so off to tend to my souls happiness.

Be Honest...

2012-01-11T08:13:00.000-06:00

With all the introspective work I've been drawn to doing lately it totally amazes me how much I can still learn...which goes along with a promise I made to myself a good many years ago, "that I didn't want to go stale" as of set in my ways and not open any more.. I've found that by having a need to seek information as much as my dyslexic brain will allow I am for sure not going stale...I think it's a blessing right now for me, hard but a blessing as of to get things some times. I've got to come at it from a different directions which is really exciting and it opens the doors and window to see more and learn more.

Acceptance and wearing a label proudly and lately of being a dyslexic is new...instead of walking in shame...I accept in honesty that it is a part of me and my make up..and I'm not ashamed by it...Oh I will get hurt when it's pointed out and I'm not prepared but I'll get over and be stronger for it..

So being honest and real and staying that way is like what I tell my kido's(young adults) all the time. "Taking care of yourself is one of the hardest things you can do but one of the best"..along with being honest and real and accepting reality...oh you can play around and laugh your fool heart out...which I encourage but to know yourself and a lifes long journey that keeps a changing...so fitting no changing can lead you to a stale mind and body but accepting change and being part of your own reality is being honest and real.. and a full time person in your own life.

so now on to week 5 "Stop being "Nice," Be Honest" Walking in this World.
Julia 's words...When we under value our selves, we literally bury ourselves in lives not our own. Meeting the expectations of others, we may misplace our own values.

Value systems are as individual as fingerprints. Violating our true selves, we soon feel worthless and undeserving. This in turn prevents our acting on our own behalf, and so we suffer further.

Quote: When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete everybody will respect you. Lao-Tzu...

My best days are when I can start off creatively and then the rest falls in to place...instead of being angry that I didn't get to the studio and create and all these responsibilities I do for others and I can't get to the studio to let out what came the day before while I was shopping ..some times and I know it now...if I don't get it out it festers and the whole family unit suffers...so knowing they self and tending to the my needs first leads to a more serene life style for me... and I have to admit there are days when I just can't and life's mess bits step in and I feel it...but I do know now what it is and how to take care of myself with it...not perfect by far, but willing to see and be.

Julia shares: about worrying... we might be selfish, It's is my considered opinion that most creative people are actually too selfless. Instead of asking "Julia, am I selfish?" they should ask, "Julia, am I selfish enough?" "selfish enough" gives us the self for self-expression...gosh isn't that beautiful to know...

As artists, when we are too nice for too long, we stop being nice at all. "I just need to get to the goddamn piano" "boy I've had that feeling and strong need too and heard it said about the same way in my head too."

If we persist in still being nice, we get to cook ourselves an ulcer or develop high blood pressure. For an artist, being too virtuous is no virtue at all. It is destructive and counterproductive. Have I mentioned that it is no fun?

Julia shares: A sustained artistic career is made of two variables -talent and character. by "character" I do not mean the good and bad kind, I simply mean the character or tone of a personality, it's exact nature. Great talent linked to an erratic character will yield and erratic career...burst of promises subverted, flashes of glorious clarity and brilliance lost or muddled by the "flaw" in the stone of resolve. A sustained creative career requires discipline-the courage to evict what does not serve the goal of excellence. That is what is means to have character...I read this many times and I'm still not sure but I think I get it...for me it's time...oh honey it's time...big girl boots go on and pulling up the breeches/yoga pants.. and getting my shovel out...the shit is needing to be shoveled and then the clearing is there for new growth...and you have to stay at it even though you don't like standing next to the stinky parts in your life..you have to be real...being selfish in some areas of my life means I respect all of me...the creative and not creative parts.

more good stuff, from Julia: For an artist, the life of his work is endangered. Self-indulgence spells self-endangerment. Our large self falls prey to our petty vices. It is enlightened self-interest to be selfish enough to be self-protective. Being self-protective may not seem "nice". We may say no to invitations that do not serve us.

As an artist, being nice is not nearly as important as being authentic. When we are what we truly are and say what we truly mean, we stop shouldering the responsibility for everyone Else's shortfalls and become accountable to ourselves. When we do, astonishing shifts occur. We become aligned with our true higher power, and creative grace flows freely. ... Oh this is a hard one to stomach, but when you do...as stated...life is worth living joyfully and with such gratitude.

Teaching those around us what our priorities are-and remembering them ourselves-makes for harmonious relationships. Clarifying ourselves to others brings honest connections that are grounded in mutual respect. Honesty starts with us...Know thyself...and that's where I've been this past year but mainly this winter season..

A little honest self-love does wonders for our personality, and for our art.

It is impossible to say yes to ourselves and our art until we learn to say no to others. People do not mean us harm, but they do harm us when they ask for more then we can give. When we go ahead and give it to them, we are harming ourselves as well. so I can't be all to all people and think I'm there god and can do all so ...When we stop playing God, God can play through us.

It is never too late to start over. It is never past the point of no return for our artist to recover. We can heap years, decades, and lifetime of insult upon our artisv and it is so resilient, so powerful, and so stubborn that it will come back to life when we give it the smallest opportunity. Instead of being coaxed into one more over extension of energies in the name of helping others, we can help ourselves by coaxing our artist out with the promise of some protected time to be listened to, talked with, and interacted with.

After reading this all a few days ago and re reading it now and typing about, and commenting as I go along...I getting it I think...Some how a long the way we have been instilled this misconception that doing for ourselves first was a bad thing...and we were trained it for many, many years. I really don't know when it started but for the longest time many creative souls have been looking for self-expression in any form but have feared, block and stumble to do so...and I mean any human being...I know I've been sharing from the book and it's for artist but I'm a firm believer in we are all creatives in our own authentic self...and it could be with the way you might fold clothes or the way you sweep the drive way. We, as a human race got lost in some ideology that we have to keep giving all of ourselves...and that got way out of whack...now not that it's not good to do a little service work now an than...things got out of balance and to gain balance each indiviual has to start with themselves and then the rest will flow out from there. we...lost perspective of what that whole thing meant...so now more and more people are seeking to find themselves and when they touch base on the things that allow them to self-express, then get a taste of it...

Out of the disadvantage put upon me because of my learning difficutlies that I label myself to have as dyslexic, I'm realizing now how such a gift it was...for what ever reason that I wasn't to understand it...that allow me to seek other ways to self-express..and that was with art..though I'm not all that and not trying to prove it to anyone. how and what am I going to do with that...I seek success in my life and by seeking that success which is a different story, I seek my joys and happy spots and place in my life so summing it all up...the journey is a long one to know thyself but to be real, straight and honest is how I'm going to get there and my real is to self-express though art in some way or form...Like cooking a wonderful dinner for my family with love and creativity...

Another book..what's that all about..?

2012-01-09T08:30:00.002-06:00

Call me crazy but I'm loving the excitement of all the good information and introspective work I'm gaining from the reading...though it takes me a while, maybe that's why I jump around in so many books. Well... I take the good orderly direction as it's what I need to read in the morning before the family really get stirring and I lose all grip of my quiet time...

No regrets or no feelings like I'm doing it wrong...that's just plan silly..I'm doing it... that's what is most important...as I told my oldest daughter...I'm reading like 4 different books and she responded with ...So....and that's right So what if I'm doing that. No one else lives up there in my head of understanding but me so really does it matter? I'm getting some thing out of it and I'm liking it.

Today I meet with my book club...and we Start..Creative as a Verb and it's has all great stuff in it for the place that I'm at in my life.. so with that I'm going to get going and I've got hit the post office..not literally but swing by and drop a package off for my cousin...Late Christmas present, had to wait till it came in though..and then Tack Down Tuesday and dinner with my mother in law tonight...Hoping too to pack in a walk...where did 4 more hours go? just so dang excited about life today and that I have this day to enjoy...

A sense of Personal Territory

2012-01-08T09:15:00.001-06:00

Beginning statement in Walking in this World..
Saying yes to our creative selves may involve saying no to our significant others. This week focuses on boundaries. The essays and tasks aim at helping us to define our creative identities as opposed to our many other roles. Expect to feel heightened emotions as energy rebounds into your own court.

Saying yes to my creativity...setting some boundaries, identifying my roles and connecting with my emotional and passionate energies...is what I gather from reading the first section and the state here...funny how what you read locks in to what you as the individual may need and not necessarily speak to others all by the way you interrupt it..So here goes...Again I'm sharing the personal study of the Artist way books selfishly for my own understand because thats the way it sinks in for me as of I have to read it, sometimes hear it and write about it and then even do the note taking that I'm doing now..it then becomes more concrete for me.

Julia shares....As artists, our sexual energy and our creative energy are very closely intertwined....When someone who ignites our creative imagination crosses oru path, that person is a "fuse lighter" Our creative engine kick over...We suddenly "come alive to the possiblitity." No sure if anyone has felt this kind of feeling but if you have you know it for sure...And I can say I've been there on many times. And confident I will feel it still more. It's the feel of being in love. In a sense, we are in love and weare also in love with our own artist, who is suddenly mirrored back to us as exciting and adventurous, powerful, perhaps even dangerous. Here's where I can relate big time...We experience more energy We bun the candle at both ends, staying up tlate to work on projects. Getting up early to grab an hour at the easel, like a stolen bout of lovemaking on teh way to work....A creative quickie.

Julia shares..something that is very personal...Creative energies and sexual energy aer both our personal energies. Our use of them is provate, and to pretend otherwise is debilitating and abusive. She goes on to say...The two energies are so closely intertwined, they may be experienced as nearly identical...We conceive children and we conceive creative projects. Both energies are sacred.

Julia goes on to share about how important is to understand this in ourselves, and how so quickly it can be put out..as the fuse burnt out and not able to light up. Hard to describe but I get it like this...so this gal and guy really have a thing, very passionate and they loose themselves...that love/passion is so great but over time if they are not aware...the can or one of the partners could stifle the others energy by taming them or in kind words...overcaretake...Mother/father them to death...and the become indifferent-lack of importance to the personal energies they have in them...that's creative soul and personal passionate energy. When I look at this way I feel to myself...why would I want to strip someone of this by over mothering them...that's a way of slowing killing another person with out even realizing your doing that...ouch that some heavy stuff there..

They can react with depression and also with rage. Both as artists and as people, such demands can make us feel curiously desexualized, as if we are truly being neutered, castrated and used...Well that's some strong stuff there isn't to comprehend...but when you think about it, it make sense..and I'm sure I've done some of this overcaretaking in my life..I personal don't like to be CAGED for a better worked as of the feeling I grasp right away when this comes to mind.. Or because we have found that love in someone, the feeling she describes and we simple loose ourselves and let down our boundaries and become what they think we should be....the funny thing is that I personally can see this could happen to the best of us...crossing boundaries out of caretaking behavior the well meaning human being can give to another without even realizing they are doing it...

Here's a short story...Julia shares...A woman writer married to an omnivorously need partner was astounded to discover that after her divorce, both her creative energy and her sexual energy came springing back to live like a lioness waking up after years of medications and depression from living in a too-small Zoo Cage. As she sharply realized, creative and sexual energy are connected. Dampen our creative ardor and our sexual selves dampen as well. Dampen our sexual selves by demanding we over nurture and parentalize ourselves, and our creativity suffers.

Julia continues...does this mean we must sexualize all our relationships or creative collaborations? Emphatically, No. But it odes man that we must be alert to avoid those bonds and entanglements that neuter our exuberance, hence our sexuality and creativity.

In artist to artist relationships, both artists need to be nurtured and seen, Neither partner should be neutered or neutralize by excessive caretaking.

OK this is great!...though you may not understand it for me where I'm at right now with a family of young 20 something still living in the home and a highly creative partner...we all have to be aware of boundaries of over care taking and identifying our roles...I personally understand and have seen many creative souls CAGED, which leads to other forms of coping with life ..and I do mean that...stifled into submission of the situation where by losing oneself and not being authentic...and it like watching a animal die before your eyes...I'm not claiming I'm perfect by far, but having this awareness in my own family is a blessing..I'm blamed now for not showing support in certain ways to my young adults but I've given them the gift to be free on their life/creative endeavors and encourage them as much as I can and that might be seen as lact of support but it was allowing them to grow take chances, fall and stumble and watched them pick them selves back up and then try again to see what they can accomplish and along the way I'm sure they have had the sense of this creative energy that is passionate in their lives...it's not there all the time and every day but it's there for them to seek...I watch other married couples and see how they dominate each other and I have to say I love my man in is rawest and rarest form of not being caged...I believe, he's my fuse/light my creative energies and I hope that I'm that for him... Which makes me feel very blessed in a corkie kind of way.. Well this was my take on Week five in Walking in this World and how I feel it fits into my life...I'm aware and know that Creative/sexual emotion when I making art and love...it's so personal and so passionate, and it's for each of us to explore for ourselves..

Moving on....

2012-01-08T07:56:00.000-06:00

Yesterday had some good old fashion funny driving a long way to a Discount furniture store to look at a new Couch and some chairs...you see the ones we have are about 8 years old...still in good working order but have been though a few kido's and dogs...that's the kind of people we are, we live in our home and live well...so as we looked around and plopped our behinds down on a few couches and love seats we really didn't like much...but we came upon this black set that was leather or should I say fake leather..I think there is a name for that but it's hiding up in the old brain this morning.. Come to find out we have to wait if we want that set...so wait is what we will do, till mid Feb. Joking around and laughter is so good for the whole body, I just had some goofy fun with the husband. you see all the kido's are young adults and were all working so it just us. When we were done we decided to stop at the Schweppes Inc company..it's a food services place...kitchen and professional stuff. That was fun too. Picked up some vinyl gloves for class and some small cake icing spreader for moving the paints and mediums around...and I found some breast cancer pink ribbon cookie cutters to use as some stencils in the collage paper making class coming up..(ideas are coming all the time)

I've not done this kind of thing with the husband in a long time...Just take off on a whim and have a good simple joyful time together..We even watched the movie UP together and the part in the movie when the little boy shares, it's not the big stuff it the every day kind of things he misses from his relationship with his father...it got the old guy thinking in the movie about his time with his wife and looking at the pictures in the scrap book how that is so true.. I couldn't help but think about my father in law that passed..when I think about him it is the small mundane daily stuff that my memories goes back to...Miss ya... you old fart... and so grateful to make this kinds of memories with my husband now.

I was able to take care of My IL. state taxes early in the morning and pay them so that left me feeling good that I accomplished that...all done now for the whole year..had to do it quarter this year...and this year we are in I don't just once at the end of the year...every few years the state does this to see if your a business or a hobbyist...well the state of ILL. that is. So they gave me the go to keep it up as an small business.

For the life of me I couldn't figure out why I didn't pick up the list of students at Naperville Art League last week when I was in there...so yesterday I ran in there after the lovely bonding time with the husband and picked them up...sent out a quick email to announce the class is a go! You see being sub- contractor like I am figured in, independent teacher, not linked to the park district scene I have to stay on all that stuff and be proactive in my effort to keep it all moving on and forward. I didn't pack up for that class yet as I wanted to wait...wait for what I don't know but I did run to the local office supply place and got some nice simple folders for the hand outs. Next time if I'm making a supply list I'll ask that the student bring a folder if I have a lot of hand outs.. But to late and figured I'll do that...keeping it simple and clean cut and easy to manage for them with all the stuff we will be doing in class, it's so easy to loss the hand-outs...

As I ramble on here...I stopped in the local Whole Foods and was just going to pick up a few things and ended up with a little bag full...but I picked up some Tilapia fish that was ready to bake with breaded with Parmesan cheese.. Great tasting, I know cause they got me with a sample. Came home and finished off the day with that and a bake potatoe and stuffed the hand outs in the folders for class I bought and a folding two loads of laundry... now on with week 5 and a day full of fun in the studio..

Darien's Community Magazine-Laura Lein-Svencner artist

2012-01-07T18:05:00.000-06:00

Mary Sullivan called up a few weeks ago and we had a nice chat. I was so excited that she wanted to share about the arts in our backyard...Hope you can read it..couldn't scan it was a bit to long for our scanner. So I took a picture of it..Maddie my Second Oldest Daughter took the pictures..a budding photographer she is..

Neighbor of Darien Posted the link for it...not that I'm all that, but I'm proud of my daughters name there...as the photographer...

Couldn't get enough of it~

2012-01-07T07:15:00.001-06:00

I've been a sun junky lately...as of being out in the wonderful light of the day. Walking...walking...walking and a bit of granny trotting too. The four legged loves of mine are really enjoying the extra time too. I spent again 2 hours out in the woods yesterday..I can get 6 miles done out there and it feels so good..I've not seen my dear path neighbor out there in some time. He(Aldo) and the wife travel to Florida often during the winter months but I did see the gentleman with the Pug...Such a independent fellow, the Pug that is...and other winter couples, new faces but delighted to be out there. I always comment about how wonderful the Health Club is today...they all kind of look at me a bit funny and then the get it...Or I'll say a bit busy on the work out trail at the Health Club today..

The smells and sounds are so soothing to my restlessness..I think that's why I tend to want to stay there...I have to admit it...I don't relax until the head hits the pillow...I seem to need to keep going...Wish the body would show that but instead now it's just stays a bit Rollie Polly, and I'm good with that...as it's the imbalance stage of my life when the darn hormones re-adjust in seconds...so just keeping the daily going to a good thing..it will all pass.

Oh I did want to share while I was out there in the woods...I witness a beautiful full coat coyote coming down the hill on to the path and then I stopped to watch...as he/she was in the crouched position and then pounced on a little Vole I think...Looked at me and stood there and then quickly ran off, turning back often watching me all the way...

He looked just like this too...

This is when the medicines from the woods can teach me a few things...I know the coyote is know as the trickster and the clever one. I've also read that if I keep watching myself at every step is over kill...My excitement of the new year and wanting to do it all so right-Perfect is going to get me in trouble..follow my instincts and all will be fine, plus keeping in contact with good orderly direction...and maybe I will catch a vole so easily as the coyote did... Sometimes holding vigilance of myself on every step can make me stall.. and being over cautious and make me not move and take the apropate steps and sometimes it just about taking a chance. In taking a chance/risk is where you grow.

So with this all I'm going to jump back in on the lifes train and get on with the many wonderful things on the list to do today...I'm always like this before any class, workshop or demo...I'm so excited and afraid and honored to be doing what I'm doing...a whoop la of emotions...all stemming from the need to do it perfect...Oh heck...time to let go of that one...My journal class didn't go this season but there's got to be a reason.. and I'm sure it will show it's face soon enough

Invention vs. Convention

2012-01-06T08:23:00.000-06:00

Last section of Week 4 in Walking in the World,
I've heard that others might be having some different feelings about the second book before and I have to admit I do...but mainly more concrete understanding of things as of the way I seek to look at life and the perspective I see with that, which becomes my truth.

Back to the very first part of the introduction of the book. Where Julia announces this is a Creative Pilgrimage... and with that attitude and perspective possibly is there... You know the cup half full.

from the book:
As artists, we are innovators. We experiment and explore. She shares...that we bring a fresh creative energy. We deliberately explore and extend our creative territory and we innovate even further and even more. This is where I think about being a creative Pilgrim.

Invention vs. convention thinking...
Now the conservers focus not on the forward moving edge but on the known territory of "how it's done" and the way it is in the business" and "what will sell"   Be it a bit of a rebel in me or what? but when I get from someone else that I should be doing this and this is how you do it to make money I truly start doubting and going in to self criticism and I also wonder I'm I doing it right? or the rebel rises..but I ask what am I missing..that's the How to's of the art coaching world" Though this is counter what I said up above I do follow it to some point but I try to fit into what I've got going on and I don't do it to the tea...I read something awhile back that you have to find our audience your people that will like your work and not everyone will it's a smorgasbord out there of tastes so how can every one be pleased with everything...so taking that into consideration and the need to be a creative Pilgrim I walk a path in my own arena of personal successes.. not always sure where it will lead me but I do have some good orderly direction that I seek often...no, daily.

Conservers want artists to believe that "how it's done" is how it has to be done. here is where I question and look at my own behavior...I share my experience in situation and but I fully understand what works for a pottery and or an oil painter won't always work for me...so When other artists tell me you have to do it this way...I have a inner red flag that flare up and I have to step back and examine it a bit and explore if its for me. Julia continues to say...As artists when we allow conservers to terrorize us, we are being scared out of our wits-wits being those innovative and inventive smarts that allow us to figure out, always one more way to skin a cat.

This is where my little stand is about how important "arts" are in all peoples lives...it helps us solve problems...become problem solves...be able to solve our own problems of course with a little help from a our friends.    We ask more often, How can we do this?

The husband means well and I listen to him often...He's a creative pilgrim too but I have to bring in and make my own decision about that and where the art/life is going.. I think all my life I've used my dyslexia to my advantage with out even realizing it, as of if I couldn't understand or comprehend I would try my damnedest to find another way...which then becomes an advantage to my personal learning process..A Gift.

As I said I never want to go stale..or be stagnant. Which can be my demon...as I don't know how to relax. There is more to the section but this is what hit me, As Artists, we are interested in what can be done rather than how it can't be done. The Famous word....HOW...by living Honest...Open...and Willing. Back to Staying real is one of the hardest things to do.. it's again a daily practice.

Picking up on some other things Julia has in this section, As Artists we must listen most carefully to our inner guidance and secondarily to our outer advisers. This isn't just spiritual law-trusting the still small voice to guide us-it's good business practice as well.. My concern is the small voice where is it coming from...Making sure it's from the gut...the intuitive part in us human being not the bullshit of my mind..sorry don't mean to be nasty but more stern with myself that I know the thinking parts of my mind doesn't always coming out straight...I some times need to not believe the first or second thoughts...You know the censor talk...

Love this part...The business of art is a machine, but an artist is the live, animated spark that runs it. That spark can be extinguished by too much "realism" and too much "I know you don't want to hear this, but..." Well-meaning adviser can advise us straight into a creative slump, straight into a fallow period, straight into a wall of inner resistance.

OK here comes the cheerleader...As artists we have a form of inner power the adviser can never extinguish or ultimately thwart. and this is always the key. We've got the connection to the big man..as of Great Creator of all times, who of course loves us all,and has a special spot for the creative ones just as he is...Not trying to convert anyone or turn you way...just stating a fact in my book.

try it out...Ask....Believe ....and ...Receive. if you were in a twelve step program you might look at it this way...ask for serenity....Believe there is something that can give it to you and then receive it by listening and turning over you ways and look out for some amazing things can happen when you follow the inner voice of good orderly direction...Julia added to this..When we allow the Great Creator to do this to us, through us, then we are aligning ourselves with the spiritual power necessary to negate the "odds."

The thought flew into my head just now as I was getting another cup of coffee....I'm not all that...(staying humble) and I'm still not all that because I'm not all I use to be...but I've come to a point where I can be the me I need and long to be..Artist, Lover, Wife, Mother, Friend, Daughter, Sister, etc., I've got other ways to succeed...Which leads me to acceptance of my authentic self... Ok maybe its the cup of coffee or the introspective work I've been doing but I've got to say...it's fitting like a good leather glove.

On to the day at play and looking forward to the perspective it brings.

added note..from my horoscope this morning..

Today may be the day you begin to understand thatsuccess is most often a matter of competing with yourself for what is importantto you as an individual.

Preparing for classes

2012-01-05T09:27:00.000-06:00

I can't believe how time has flown by this morning...I got a stack of printed handouts for my classes done. Check off the list

Taking on a different approach and hoping to keep the sparks going... I'm excited. I purchased a new Microsoft words 2010 program for my lap top and two other family members can you it and I'm so happy I did..I can do what I've always wanted to for my classes. I re-did a few pages this morning and it went smoothly. I received this sheet awhile back when I took Anne Morgans workshop but it was faded and hard to read..so I vamped it up...It's not mine and I don't take credit for it but I did re do it.

I had such a ball making the squiggle marks...just amazing how the computer works..and I was just squiggling the lines..

With Composition, one of the things I see is that people don't know where to start and when they start they getting into it but then they get lost..Lost as of they loose the compositional lay-out and then wonder what went wrong.. And their not willing to practice with it and do...as of exercise. I'm no an expert by far, but I use this in the back of my mine all the time. As of keeping in mind what lay-out I start with, though I can decided to add more composition to it as I go to make it more interesting. I feel if I don't know the basic like the crawling, then how do you get to standing up and walking...?

So the day is really getting me excited as I've got to head out to Blick Art Materials today and pickup a few things...Not good though cause I'm a supply junky and always can have one more bottle of paint...hahaha.

A few more samples of some of the prayer flags

2012-01-04T17:59:00.002-06:00

This is a base of polymer medium, and then blue acrylic brushed on with a spray of water then I laidd a paper towel down and lifted the pigment off with a brayer let dry a bit and then, use a deli sheet and folded in half and brushed on some acrylic and then sprayed with water and pulled out the acrylic with a baby wipe...kind of feathered it..dried with a hair dryer add the rest I can't remember was in the moment...but I do remember put the flag on the sewing machine and add the extra over the dark blue and letting the end strains hang.I used a plastic charge card and gum eraser stamp I made for art journaling...

This Prayer flag I purposely left plainer for the ones that like the simpler side of things. I've already used one of my linoleum plates from a class I took over a year ago and printed on it and then I wrote over it with some inspirational quotes.

I used Fiber paste as a base for this by Golden Mediums and let that dry..then I did a glazing with acrylics and sprayed some water on it and blotted with paper towel and then subtract more pigment off with a baby wipe..hard to see now as then I layered the coffee ground filter paper and some stained tissue papers and painted sheet music and tacked it down to the surface with the tack iron..all the paper have a layer of polymer medium and the background did too. Then I had some fun just stitching with the sewing machine...My Aldi's special...I also added another layer of polymer so I could put on two image transfers..the daisy and the words. The ribbon came from a friend of mine on her package she gave me...save everything and for a good reason too.

Ideas were flowing but I had no more white sheet prayer flags left...going to have to sew more but will have to wait on that.. Now to get a picture of them all together or a nice one with a some string through the flap on top.

I was suppose to be getting ready for my classes...

2012-01-04T11:58:00.001-06:00

OK the picture above is collage papers that I happily sewed with my special simple sewing machine...I purchased at our local Aldi's for 60.00 and it works great for what I need...I'm not sure how it will all come out for the piece that's still in the idea box of a brain I have...but this the way I did the Faceless people series with all the gray and white and buff papers and the little wooden manikins...I'm excited because I'm attempting to pull a few different voices together for this piece...not sure if it will work...process and fun and who cares attitude will Get her done!

This prayer flag sample I whipped up this morning..I need something I can present to the web host a the LaGrange Art League for a schedule One Day Workshop..."Creative Prayer Flags" Details are still getting worked out..Looking forward to it..good thoughts good intentions and only lead to good positive vibes for the rest of the world.. they might be part of a exhibition at the art league in August. Taking a risk and see where we will all land..as there's a great group of women already interested in working this all out..

Planning one way and hearing another

2012-01-04T08:49:00.003-06:00

Things are in motion already and they were set in motion some about half a year ago and other just recently...all involving my creative time and energy. Complaining? No...just having some underlined pulls and tugs. Though on my goal list for the year I think I did put I want to make paper and do book arts..as of learn to make hand made books...you know the kind with leather covers...then it fizzles down to low....tone and I got right over it on to the other things on the list.

So in the Artists Way-Walking in this world...Week Four..section two... The Verb "To Be" is read this morning.

Thinking of Art little Differently is what is suggested. Question to ask yourself...Have I been groomed for a career I didn't want and I was going with the agenda? As a result, my heart was broken and so was my health... A wise older woman who asked, what do you want in life, to be admired or to be happy?

How many times have we put the mask on for pretend, approval and acceptance when all we wanted to do is be happy?

OK got to admit this part confuses me...

"Art" is less about what we could be and more about what we are then we normally acknowledge. When we are fixated on getting better, we miss what it is we already are-and this is dangerous because we-as we are-are the origin of our art. "We" are what makes our art original. If we are always striving to be something more and something different, we dilute the power of what is is we actually are. Doing that, we diluted our art....OK now I get it...see I've got to read it write and take each word in..

simple put..."stay in the moment with life, art and your whole being and create from there!" not what other think we should be and where suppose to be in the art field... a Chain reaction can start if one is not aware of this going on...Self-loathing that sets in and says whatever we are, it is not as good, or as beautiful as whatever it is the other has...Oh the dreaded Comparing Character that slips in and sideswipes us...

in the creating mode...and that means all of us as creative beings...We should let ourselves do what comes naturally and easily. So Why don't we...? We think we have to do the creative sit ups all the time and I mean all the time. Great artists are actually the greatest amateurs -from the Latin verb Amara, "to love" The have learned to wiggle out of the seriousness of rigid categorization and allow themselves to pursue the Pied Piper of delight. Picasso was a perfect example...he made great art out of his simple love of found objects.

If we stop trying to improve ourselves and start trying to delight ourselves, we get further as artists. if we lean into what we love instead of soldiering towards what we "should", our pace quickens, our energy rises, optimism sets in. ex: if you wild about Yellow right now for no apparent reason, paint something yellow and call that closet the sun room. Instead of resisting yourself, try finding yourself irresistible. Try out the idea that you might be onto something when you catch sight of it.

To be an artist Julia shares, "you must learn to let yourself be. Stop getting better. Start appreciating what you are. Doing something that simply delights you for no apparent reason..

OK being an artists these days there are so many artist coaching sites and free information out there and If you want to get into galleries you have to do this and that and this, and some more of this and that....You've all of sudden gotten so serious with what is going on that you can't help but loss your to be happy...Then if your like me who is always seeking some kind of guidance I read books like this that help remind me to be me and that its OK to go out on an idea and see what happens..example the Make your Mark journal project...it was an idea and I shared the idea and saw it's potential and others did to and joined in and we had a wonderful time working with each other and learned who much fun that was. Not always am I able to do every whim that comes my way...but it's really good to stray off the path a bit and explore, knowing far well where you headed but by taking a little free spirited ideas and letting yourself be happy it sure does give rise to the work you do in the studio...it's all good when you allow yourself "To Be" for you...not pretending, trying to get approval or ladder jumping status...if you know what I mean...

your to take pen to hand and write 10 times Secretly, I would love to....create a stacking rock garden where one could create at a whim a spiritual moment and or intention to the world and leave it for all to see.

Just one of those days....

2012-01-03T07:34:00.001-06:00

My list is a mile long and I'm happy about it... my job today is to accomplish what is on my list today...and it makes me feel very good when I do but if I don't that's OK too, because along the way it will all get done...it's about the process small step forward add considerable.

Alphabet plate, Authenticity, and Adventure

2012-01-02T08:02:00.003-06:00

Now that is something isn't it...three "A" words.

This is one of four alphabet plates for my new class I'll be teaching in Naperville, starting second week of January on Tuesday's. I bought a package of letter from Achievers and they have all different sizes and font styles..Tim Holt's stuff. I glued it first with a glue stick, so they would hold in place till I got them all on there. Then I coated it with polymer medium to seal it in. Don't even know if it will work but got to take that risk and give it a try.

Now with my readings this morning out of many books...I'm dyslexic and I gather information and store it and process it an a way that might scare others off but I've found what works for me...and that's a little bit here and a little bit there and put it into action, feel it and know it...then move on to something else. So I'm still re-reading, The Gifts of Imperfection it's on Authenticity this morning... I have to share this part...I really would like to soak this in and make it part of my being..

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you really need to do, in order to have what you want. ~Margaret Young~

Brene' shares.... Before I started doing my research, I always thought of people as being either authentic or inauthentic. Authenticity was simply a quality that you had or that you were lacking. I think that's the way most of us use the term: "She's a very authentic person." But as I started immersing myself in the research and doing my own personal work, I realized that like many desirable ways of being, authenticity is not something we have or don't have. It's a practice-a conscious choice of how we want to live. (great!, Awesome)

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.

Call me crazy but I could read that every morning like a cup of coffee to jump start my thinking and my day.

A sense of Adventure...for week four in Artist way's "Walking in this World"

I will try to keep this to the point...but honestly I'm just loving the thinking journey I've been on through the winter season already so I'm just going to continue and see what happens.

In short the begin Statement for this week is Focusing on Self-acceptance and a route to self-expression.

From the book-When we avoid risk, we court depression... Depression is emotional quicksand. Once we get stuck, it's hard to pull free. Our struggles exhaust us and depress us further. It is easier to avoid depression than overcome it and yes, we avoid it by taking risks. this is the part that I relate to Authenticity up above...for me it's not about having a lot though I've accumulated a lot over the years but there are areas in my life that...say I would love to be in a loft style cabin in the upper states with two pole barns one for me and one for the husband.. but reality is...that's going to take a long time to get three...so I take the risk and with my mind I imagine I'm there in my space... From Julia books- the one young women feels a bit stifled in the big city and longs for the western heart she has...making the best of it and taking action...Adele feels too dull and too domesticated, she gets on a horse and feels like she's sitting a lot taller in the saddle, living in a world of risk and adventure. You see she found out that there was a Claremont Riding Academy and she had reserved the horse to go riding.. it's not about having it as much as taking a small action or adventure to live it as best you can...

As you can see from the pictures above..My space and the Man's space...or the husbands space. Mine is a mess but I'm in heaven when its like that...I am creating, playing, taking small risks to try something new and that's been bubbling in the creative attics of the mind...waiting and waiting for the moment to burst out and spill on to the studio surfaces all over...I hear a lot in my classes...Oh Laura how do you keep it all organized...Well I do have space for things but when I'm in the moment of good creating time...I don't let that stop me, I even have to kick a censored first couple of thoughts out of my mind when I'm in the mode...because it can stop a flow of fun honest playing around that involves taking risks and adding a bit of adventure to the creative time.

Now in this section Julia shares more about getting a way from it all in smaller increments. Taking some little adventures...(like going horse back riding one afternoon) Which I love to do too but for me after reading the other morning and making it to the studio, I have to say a sense of adventure was felt...

She goes on to say..It is one of the paradoxes of the sustained creative life that the more lightly we take ourselves, the more serious work we will probably be able to do. the more we bear down on ourselves, the more constricted we will feel, and the more vulnerable we will be to creative injury. Taken a cue from the Great Creator and develop a playful appetite for life itself.

Here's what I like about God: Trees are crooked, mountains are lumpy, a lot of his creatures are funny-looking, and he made it all anyway. He didn't let the aardvark convince him he ad not business designing creatures. He didn't make a puffer fish and get discouraged. No, the maker made things and still does.

Small blips...from the book,
Rather then enjoy the process, we become focused on the result, everything else is just foreplay.
It becomes about perfection and other people's perception,not the joy of creation, the play of ideas.
When our art boils down to a calculated career move, we ourselves tend to become hard-boiled and calculated.
If we treat the creative self like a young and curious animal, we will get the right idea.
The greater your appetite for adventure, the more adventuresome the creative elements at hand when you turn to working on something.
We all have adventurous lives, but we must see them to know it.

Summing it up....doing what I do, and living the way I do, adds to my sense of adventure...I don't need to climb mountains to enjoy them...I can go out and hike around the woods and let my imagination explore...That is if I don't have the a lot time and money to do that I don't have to sit and get depressed about it I can take a small risk towards it and one thing leads to the next and with that open mindedness I feel that I'm making choices in my life that help me be true to myself...which then leads to authenticity for me... I show my studio space like it is...Yes a mess...As put to society in the ART magazines that are out there, you're to have this spacious space and all things in a row...well for me that would be living in some other perception that wasn't real to me. Here's a picture of a awesome space and look a the pure joy and sense of adventure on her face.

This is Dale Copeland, an artist in New Zealand..that also hosts the ICE exchange.

Like she has shared on her site...it really is about the process...and all the messy bits in between that add to the sense of adventure that we each have in our lives daily...that is if we only look for it.
No comparing just answer to your calling, your real self and you can see it happen right before your eyes.

New Year, New Game Plan

2012-01-01T08:57:00.001-06:00

Simpleguidelines to think about setting goals-from Feb 2010 Art Calendar/Professional Artists

It’s important to know your goals; goals direct and focus your activities.

How do you want this year to be different?
Think about business, product, marketing and sales. Perhaps you want to expand your client base, improve customer service, boost repeat sales, exhibit at more places or find gallery representation.
Goals should motivate you. The more important they are to you and the more you see real value in achieving the. The more likely you are to realize them. Be realistic so you can accomplish.
Begin each phrase with, I will not I hope to or I would like to. Also make sure there positive.
If the list is a long one prioritize the items.
Goals are a lot easier to accomplish when there are tangible ways of measuring, so try to be as concrete as specific as possible.
Have self-meetings to see if you’re on track

So this was my guide for last year and I felt it was a great way to look at things even if you didn't want be starting or carrying on about a business of some sorts.

I have a nice load of things already marked up and started on the calendar, so I'm feeling that I don't need to add any more...I have the need to do some printing or should I say the call to play around with that and bring it into my work.

Intention for the New Year

The challenge will be to in the present and to be in a humble place. In order to be in a humble place that means I will have to seek out some good orderly direction. I would like to combine all the different art styles/voices I’m working in and bring it to a centering place and create with them all on a years’ worth of new artwork. I would like to continue the Tack Down Tuesday’s series and post other art work/books/and handmade papers for sale on my blog. I would like to be continue towards my personal balance, inner peace and a spiritual practice which then carry's out in my art and life. And I would like to be comfortable in my own skin without censored thinking. Goal is to be my authentic self which I’m learning is a life long journey, and I’m fine with that. I would like to make handmade papers again. And work in my yard too. Darn, if there was only two of me.

So sticking with
                          I would like to.....continue my walking in the woods and with my dogs
                           I would like to.....clean my studio up and down size on somethings.
                           I would like to.....make handmade papers again in my back yard
                           I would like to.....Garden more and maybe put a stacking rock area in.
                           I would like to.....continue teaching, presenting workshops and demo-ing
                           I would like to......to do some small travel weekends with the husband.
                           I would like to......be present in each day "Seize the Day"
                           I would like to......know my young adults better.
                           I would like to......create a new body of work combining all the difference voices I
                                                         create with.
                           I would like to......continue my personal journey of introspectiveness.
                           I would like to......like to make more handmade books and learn new ways.
                           I would like to......work assemblage in to my work also.

So with that all on my mind...best get started on something today...We have a family gathering and it should be a nice time...my brother in a law turns 50...

Working on some images for transfers

2011-12-31T17:30:00.001-06:00

Been playing around in the studio...which by the way is a mess...so fast it gets that way...especially as I'm sampling things for class preparing and setting up the agenda...but I was looking for some old fashion magazines and I saw these images and I've altered them by sanding faces, cutting off arms and adding some smudge effect to it...or the urban grunge distressed look. My favorite one is the first one with the woman in the leaning position and I added the long curly hair to her...I've got a 10 x 30 Clay board taped 2" sides with polymer on it and some papers picked out doing the green thing as of colors. I would like to start bring the different voices together...Well I was suppose to be preparing for my other class today but got sidetracked in a good way.. with all the introspective work I've been doing some good rich emotion is stirring too.

Now this is just in my sketchbook of samples for class in the very beginning stages of mixing the acrylics with plastic wrap and then finding the flow be it ridged or organic. This is also the place where you can find a place of interest.

Finishing up Week Three

2011-12-31T09:40:00.002-06:00

The last two segments of Week Three deals with Anger and Cartography... Again to sum up the weeks readings and introspective works...I refer back to the opening statement, Detxofiying your thinking regarding the arts and your place as an artist in our society...Heavy stuff again...Oh I so love to talk about all this instead of gossip...there's more meat on things like this then what someone else is doing...

So before I go to deep I'm going to share a bit about Juila's esasys on Anger, from past reading and studying Anger was fuel a way to turn this feeling around and make it a positive in your life. I so get that...been using that for a long time and it works great. But now she has one looking at Anger related to perspective, our personal perspective. I love this part from her book- The problem here is our perspective. When we are angry "out of all proportion," that is a very accurate phrase.

Here's a experiment or lets say research...next time some you know or don't know is angry...step back and see if you can see where they are out of proportion.

Julia goes on...We have lost a sense of our true size adn power, and the intensiety of our feelings make us feel "hopping mad," another telling phase, as our mental image of our selves becomes-or can become-very cartooned.   The size of our anger has dwarfed our perspective and our pesonality. This is because we do not realize that the power we are perceiving is within us as the power for change.

The odds are against us until we are "for" ourselves.

We do not need to shout, but we do need to act and to speak our truth. A word about that order. Actions do speak louder than words, and so we must take actions that articulate our creative value...

"Heck, we need to take action on lives for ourselves, not just creative one" ...with the New Year Knocking on my door, I have to admit there are areas that stir up a bit of angry and taking some action on my part really brings it to the right size for me... Here's an example: all around my home there are places that ever time I open a door I get a surprise and then I just stuff that surprise back in and it makes me mad that some one should clean this out...I've done it for so long someone else should it....well this past week right after the Christmas Holiday I did just that I cleaned out cabinets and area that really got me mad...Hopping mad...Does this anything do with my art and creating art? Sure does..My thinking is if I can tackle this then I can tackle other areas too, that anger just became fuel...instead of stumbling on or over it, I took action on my part or my proportion of my life...I stepped up to the plate and took action...I have to admit it feels so damn good...does anyone in the house care...yes but not as much as it make me feel good about it all...Might I add a Self-Esteemable act on my part...which then keeps me in check with my perspective and size in life...crazy ? No for me it's understanding making a positive connection that will work well later when I don't even realize it...

Some added stuff from Julia on Anger.. Anger is not comfortable. The focused use of it to create art requires emotional maturity we must often reach for to muster-and yet we can. When we do our world changes by a jot. Anger sometimes signals not our immaturity but our maturity, our seasoned judgement, and outraged temper into form for the sake of healthy change...
So the task work was to write what makes you angry...and I have to say I've silently writing in my head about all the stuff behind the cabinet doors in the house...Yes I've taken a mature action and cleaned up my act, in that area at lest..

And to pull from a statement made in the first book of the Artists Way...
"If you want to work on your Art, work on your life"

OK now the last section... to comprehend, for me at lest...Cartography.
"All Art is an attempt to map the territory of the Heart" I truly love that statement...I know for myself that when I'm creating with knowing or not it's coming from a place of the heart...be it the heart is joyous, hurt, scared or excited. And pretty much it stems from a personal place that want to speck to a larger audience.

As Artists, we explore the territory of the human heart, braving the dark woods to report to our human tribe that a trail can be found, and we will survive. As artists, we are scouts of consciousness, trailblazer for community and culture. As artists, we must muster self-respect and compassion for the difficulty of our own calling. The great adventure of the creative life lies not only in the territory seen but in the fact that much of what we see has not been seen before. Human stories are as old as the earth, but human consciousness is always the edge of the known world, like fine telescopes focused on deep space.

As an Artist matures, so does his skill at encompassing such pitched emotion. Look at it this way, the artist say s, and shows the world what his inner world has revealed to him. Each of us carries an internal lens through which we view the world. The willingness to reveal what that lens sees is what determines an artist. And an artist must continually open that lens to take in new and wider realities...Here's where I would like to share all human being in my book if giving the chance to do open the lens could benefit.

After reading this, the nudge or small portion of a map are begin to be revealed to me...I'm feeling the calling to make paper, explore some printing, combine the different voice I speak with in my work into a new series of work...so before I realize it the lens is widening and I'm sensing a area of expantion...could this be why I was cleaning out my cabinets and draws and closet...to prepare for something else.? Only some good orderly direction and an open mind will tell.

Path Cutter in the wilderness of life.

2011-12-30T07:01:00.001-06:00

It seems that I need to have a strong commitment going on some where in my life. I'm realizing it more and more...I always thought I was a flighty one, which I still can be on most days. (just part of my make-up as a dyslexic individual, with wonderful advantages, I'm finding out, that's a different story) When our four children where younger it was very spontaneous and as a mother you had to be very flexible but there was still an underline string stretched across the day and on tough days it was a tow rope. Hidden most of the time under toys and clothes, it was a guidance for the day, which I realize now more so. It could have been as simple as keeping the kido's feed, dishes kind of washed and keeping down some of the clothes piles in the utility room but it was the underline string...of sorts.

Now I call it my task master, an inner compass or strong inner commitment with myself. I need some kind of guidance on a daily bases and be it from Nature, books people in my life or something bigger I seek it daily and I can't say enough about using the Artist way books for self guidance or compassing and helping yourself steer right on your path...for some it's a bit too much to do, all that self looking at and into...stirs things up that have settled nicely in a place that is works, or seems to be, but as an artist, my work comes from all that I live in my life and learning to understand it and sometimes not... but being able to create with, through and past it has been a wonderful gift...

Find what works and working it is a key and by doing that it can leave you feeling a bit alone and not part of a group..That I feel has to be weighed out...Being authentic to yourself and answering to your own personal calling is a gift and also a daily practice and once you find it, it can make me kind of protective of it. I'm not trying to talk all big of myself but more so the interesting stuff I'm digging up

Dig stands for-
Deliberated in thoughts and behaviors through prayer, mediation, or simple setting their intentions.
Inspired to make new and different choices;
Going. They take action.
(from The Gifts of Imperfection)

So now I'm rambling in introspective chatter, but it's important to me as I'm seeing over stimulation these days is a bit much of me and I need to fall back on some basic things that I know have worked and that is going in, going deep inward to my core and connecting with a good orderly direction, it works for me...and trusting that and just acting with it and on.

Back to the Artist Way books...they have been my thread to help me stay on course and keep myself as authentic as I can..which brings me back and full circle to a state of time when you stand alone and it's something I've always had in me from a very young place...but I felt OK there...and didn't use that to dwell in or stay stuck in self pity...If I may state the words...Scout, Adventurer and Creative Pilgrim. All these words are a way of looking at myself in a positive moment, a state of alone. So people ask me about my email/licences plates and the name of the blog...Lonecrow...it steams from a life time of introspective stuff like this. Which if asked depending on what state of being I'm in or mood I'm stumbling for words or it speak loudly like now.

As a friend of mine says...In closing I would like to say.....

(from The Gifts of Imperfection)
Authenticity is not something we have or don't have. It's practiced -a conscious choice of how we want to live.
Authenticity is a the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're suppose to be and embracing who we are....

Yesterday I went and purchased two new bra's, two new white mens large white shirts and two pairs of men's jeans...yes I know that's silly but while cleaning out my closets yesterday that image flashed to me...I've always fit better in a man's jean...I don't have a curvy body like a woman pretty much barrel or straight up to big shoulders. So letting go of what society thinks I should be looking like and I bought into, I decided to put into action who I am.

Who are you?

Switching things up

2011-12-29T17:38:00.000-06:00

This morning I did my journal writing and after the husband left for work I decided to take the two four legged loves for a walk. Yes both of them...I started walking them both together when Hank was young but he was growing fast and I need to get some control over his puppiness before he got out of hand so walking them separate has been going on for sometime now..

but this morning I needed a switch as much as they did.. we all did fine. When I came back home I got the urge to change the sheets on the bed and then I went through my closet and even my shoes I tossed and sort for Goodwill. It felt really good and then did a bit of vacuuming and had some Oatmeal, honey and fresh blueberries.

I got my daily gratitude list out and on the back side is my daily agenda...which I make out when I do my morning journaling..I had a few errands to do and then I was heading the woods for myself.. I spent two hours out there...I even wander off the path and follow some deer trails, stopped from time to time and watch the presence of the wind. When I cleaned my closet out I found a very old favorite sweatshirt I hadn't ware in a long time so I put in on to walk in..I should probably had more on as way of layers but it was about 45 and with me flashing these days it feels so great to sweat because I have been exericing and then natural cooled off by the wind that was blowing out there. The weather has been more like spring then winter in the mid section of the states. I wonder if that's what's been going on? I've got a case of early spring fever I'm purging and cleaning clutter.

I've been letting streams of dreams or idea follow out of me for the good intention of the New Year and in doing that it's staying open for the good orderly direction..Being I'm taking a break from creating accept the Tack Down Tuesday's, I'm finding I'm clearing the path for what ever is to come. The coming year has many great opportunities all ready line up but I would like to invite new inspiration.

Thinking about a new body of work after pumping out the works for the One of a Kind show this past early December I know I needed this break to gear up for a new game plan. I've got a couple of shows all lined up for the August, September, October 2012 and I need a good 30 pieces.

What is it going to be about?, What direction would I like to see my work head? The last few days I've left myself with the questions and staying open for inspiration or the strong winds of Good Orderly Direction.

And what I've been hearing is pull all the different voice of my work in to a whole new body of work...

* I started out with a creative style or voice in handmade papers and using them in my collage work.
* I then moved to using image transfers and added found papers and area of paint with embellishments.
* Working with all many different styles of found papers altering techniques I then started to use all of those papers.
* Then bring in glazing and paints.
* I spoke through a good series of Abstract Landscapes and still do speak through them.
* sewing papers randomly and then tacking them to the substrate of clay board and creating small shadow boxes for objects to rest.
* I've explored the painted background and introducing pastels to the surface and working in scarps of collages papers, which has become my free flow mixed media painting voice.
* I've spoke more recently with the sew papers and a combo of found papers on the clay board.
* and I've been dabbling back into my printing days and pulling from that to use in creating collage papers.

This has been about a good 16 years...of experimenting, exploring and with many areas of stumbling and flat out jumping off in areas I decided to add excitement in and take a few risks.

I would like to pull all this together and bring it out for this year...so as you see the time that I'm resting is all meant to be it's in the cards as they say.

Put the measuring stick away...Keep it real

2011-12-28T06:50:00.000-06:00

I read this statement this morning and it something that I can carry around with me for this New year.

With out realizing it most human beings walking around with just that a measuring stick, we don't want to but it's there, and it slips in and does it's measuring and a load of emotions rumble up and we wonder where did that come from? And I know for myself I really do have to keep it real and learn that this kind of stuff happens and how to work with it instead of against it.

So on to my morning readings and writing...
I'm working with two books as I stated before and the Measuring stick statement came for The Gifts of Imperfection. and not to share about Art is therapeutic, Not therapy week three section two.

We are miserable not because we are neurotic but because we are creative and not functioning in our creativity. Therapy aims at transformation thought understanding. Art aims at transformation more directly. Art "works" therapeutically whether we understand it or not.

We may feel different after making something. We may see something in a different light, but that inner shift of focus come from expressing what is is we do feel and see rather then striving to feel and see things differently, with more balance and less sting. For an artist-and for the artist in each of us-talking about something may be less useful than painting about, writing about it or composing about it.
Humans are complex. creative beings, and when we create something that expresses our own complexity, we arrive at an inner distillate of clarity through our own creative inner process.

Art aims at expressing our originality.
"Art" is a form of the verb "to be". It is not a mere cleverness to point this out. Ar its core, life is artful and creative, each moment contains choice as much as each brush stroke in a painting, each syllable in a poem each note in a a melodic line. It is because of this it's insistence of choice, choice, choice that art demolishes the victim position.

When bullying lfie demands of us soem injustice: "You want to make something of it?" the artful answer is Yes.

Learning to make art rather than drama from a hearted imagination is a skill best learned early and practiced fully. If we are to make living art- we must be willing to stand knee-deep in the rapids of the human condition, accepting the life, by its nature , is turbuelent, powerful, and mysterious.

I just love this statement and will print it out and hang in my studio today. I think it expresses the real meaning of a passionate creativity life and the words standing it knee-deep is so expressive it excites me..

"Keep the drama on the page, the stage, the canvas, the film," an artist learns. When turbulent emotins pinch the raw nerves of the creative psyche, there is a choice: Act on this, or act out on this.

With art as our alchemy, the pin of the lost lover becomes the pang of the lvoe song. The misery of the misplaced sese of direction becomes the frantic, setthing chords of a dissonant jazz anthem. " Nothing is wrong, nothing is wasted, nothing is neurotc, nothing is disowned everything is possible in art" must become the artist's credo.

I'm vamped up how about you?

off to put some drama where it needs to be...

Revisiting Goals set at the beginning of the year-2011

2011-12-27T07:59:00.001-06:00

Simple guidelines tothink about from Feb 2010 Art Calendar

It’s important to know your goals, goals direct and focus your activities.
How do you want this year to be different?
Think about business, product, marketing and sales. Perhaps you want to expand your client base, improve customer service, boost repeat sales, exhibit at more places or find gallery representation.
Goals should motivate you. The more important they are to you and the more you see real value in achieving the. The more likely you are to realize them. Be realistic so you can accomplish.
Begin each phrase with, I will not I hope to or I would like to. Also make sure there positive.
If the list is a long one prioritize the items.
Goals are a lot easier to accomplish when there are tangible ways of measuring, so try to be as concrete as specific as possible.
Have self meetings to see if your on track

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well the inspiration or guidance for 2011 came from the article above and I like that and will use it again for tracking out my goals for 2012...some many people frown about doing them I use them as a sort of compass..I don't follow it exactly but it helps me stay in track. Especially with all the social media going on it's so easy to go astray and follow someone else compass and then all of a sudden you wake up one morning and wonder why your not being true to you dreams and ideas.

So here I'm going to look over what was good and what might need to be added and subtracted from this years goal list.

1. I will walk with my dogs in the woods and by myself- well been walking both myself and the dogs and it really does feel good and helps center myself.

2. I will work on project that I’ve wanted to for some time-

a.assemblages and more book making ? still want to do more of that...I make my own journals for my morning pages, but assemblages fell on the way side..

b. new workfor fall DG library exhibit and LaGrange Art League. I accomplished a wonderful show at the Downers Grove Library but passed on the LaGrange Art League exhibit till this new year 2012

c. collageand glass project. hmmm not sure what I was thinking...but did the collaging.

3. I will be kinder to myself, emotional, spiritually andphysically-I feel that I can continue this for the next year, and I feel I've accomplished this task...

4. I will cut back on the fairs maybe do only a few withoutdoor studio exhibit I will continue to do that. I many only do a few. The weather and sales is hard to predict.

5 I will work on the inner peace and spirituality- this will carry into this year as well. I truly have been finding more inner peace and spirituality.

6. I will be in the present more. Being in the present is a practice of inner peace and spirituality..

7. I will live life and see what she’s got in store for me…again Practicing to life in the present is helping me live My life and take the little adventures offer and also live parts of life that are for learning something new or gift me with a new perspective.

8. I will not over load my days.. this one is a tough one and I'll try to put it back on for 2012...I have trained myself to be my own boss so it's hard not to work for yourself without the passion it takes.

9. I will be OK with less, That is a life lesson that is still going on.. because of our economy it seem to put one in that spot with out trying.

10. I will go out to lunch more with like minded people- this has been a blessing and I would like to continue it.

11. I will continue to work on my art and provide some workfor the two galleries.. stay in contact with them. I have to say that I will also continue this into 2012

12. I will let go more and seek guidance. this has worked miracles for me...I've learned that being in the Unknown parts of my life that happen in the dailiness, I find that I'm fine, in fact I'm really OK and with seeking the guidance while I feel frighten in the state of Unknown I'm stronger. A count this to something I heard...stop carring the suit case around in your life...From now on, just take the Carry on bag..and that statement has helped me let go more and seek a higher guidance.

13. I will spend time with good wise woman and share goodconversation and wisdom - this has been a blessing and I'll be continuing this into 2012 with my book group. Can't wait till we start up again here in January.

14. I will see positive people and situation and let go ofthe negative ones. One can always continue this.

I look over the year that has past....Judged a few art shows and exhibits. Over a year ago started a book discussion group with very creativity like minded woman, did some tag team teaching in the Glass arts field, Said yes to some great opportunities for growth and education. I was able to travel to Upper Wisc. to teach for the first time a intensive collage workshop just before my 50 birthday and that gave me the opportunity for a little retreat too. Continued my teaching and demonstration of collage with all that I've learned. I had a bang up fall with my own outdoor studio show, and being invited to jury into the One of a Kind show and being accepted and carrying out 4 days of intensive exhibiting.. with many sales and my Solo show at the Downers Grove Library was a big hit with sales also. Had a few scared moments with the Husband and his unexpected hospital stay for Legionnaires disease which has been all arrested and he's on a good mend now...I've stayed in contact with my galleries I'm working with and that feels good made some sales through them which is wonderful for us all. I also took a big risk and launched Tack Down Tuesdays back in August and now it's December and it's still going strong.. Creating a life style that works for me and can still be fulfilling and that I can still share my passion and creative interest is living the dream. I'm blessed to be able to do that and I have to say I work darn hard to keep up at what I love to do..

Perspective and Discovering it.

2011-12-25T07:02:00.000-06:00

Detoxifying your thinking to your art and you place as an artist in our society. Art is tonic and medicinal for us all. As an artist, you are a cultural healer...Wow to think like that is something... Think about it though all cultures that flow the thread of creativity in, out and all around every inch of there historical presents seem to be a Happier society.

It's Christmas morning..and everyone is still sleeping, we got in late last night from my sister house so here I'm sitting at the kitchen table drinking my morning coffee and eating a few sweets with it.. Just finished up my morning venting and then I could help myself but follow my routine and continue reading the next weeks chapter in Walking in this World...What a wonderful weeks beginning read it is..This time in the morning is silent and all mine to focus on my personal thoughts and gain a bit of grounding, centering and put on my spiritual boots for the day.. So here goes...on Christmas morning...I almost want to be ashamed that I went on to do this but this whole holiday season stuff has some much added emotional drama to it that where I am right now doing what I doing is really a good wholesome place to be. I haven't decided if I'll take a morning walk in the woods..that sounds so inviting...

Medicine-Creativity is in our blood. In our DNA... Most often, people are creative in many forms. It's is the excess of creative energy , not the lack of it that is what makes people feel- and get labeled crazy. Julia shares a story of a young woman that started doing the Morning pages, artists dates and walking and how her mood lightened. You see this young woman tried all things to get the quick fix on life but once she put the practice of the three simple daily and weekly task to work in her life, her energy steadied, and her optimism did not so much return as to make a first appearance on the stage of her adult life.. The words appeared on the stage of her adult life...not that we have to get all serious about things but by taking responsibility for herself with some estimable action she was becoming the person she was meant to be...A Creative human being. As the story goes on....Self-expression began to heal her character issues that years of therapy had not touched. As she found a way to channel and express her colorful inner selves, her life took on a gentler yet more vibrant shape and her dreams took on technicolor clarity.

Using our creativity is therapeutic, but that is not because we need to be fixed. What we need is to be expressive. So I ask myself now what is it inside of me that needs to be express? Can you say what that is right now? do you know? and can you express it?

The human being, by definition , is a creative being. We are intended to make things and in the old phrase, to "make something of ourselves." When we loose interest in ourselves and our lives, when we tell ourselves our dreams don't matter or that they are impossible, we are denying our spiritual heritage. When we do this we become depressed and drained, even physically ill. We become snappish, irritable, high-strung. We are miserable-miserable because we have stifled our creative selves. When we hide ourselves from others and from ourselves. it's is the hiding of our true nature that makes us feel or act Crazy. Some of us may carry around "word wounds" Example for me is I don't know where you coming from....so with that it makes me question but it also demonized creativity.

Practicing our creativity is healing. Not because we are sick but because we are essentially well. What is healed is the rift between our spiritual stature and our mistaken perception of ourselves as flawed. Creativity is medicine. It is not dangerous or egotistical. it's is life-affirming and essential.

Creative change begins in the heart. When we start within ourselves and move outward, expressing that we love and what we value, life gets better, we feel better, and with world gets healthier too.
Sour society, even our world, might be "sick" but we carry within us the exact medicine to heal it and ourselves. That Medicine is creativity...

Just this past holiday weekend, I've experience some unsettling family riff lets say and I really wished it hadn't blown up but it did and now is the time to sort and heal and work throw it and what I've learned for myself is I have to be creative to get through. I'm not sure about everyone else but just what was shared above I find helpful. Off to continue to be creative.

Merry Christmas to all

2011-12-25T06:12:00.003-06:00

Wishing all that read this a Humorous, Happy and Hopeful Merry Christmas. As I've heard before that Language of the Heart and Love is Laughter...So I hope all have you full share of it with Family and Friends.

Week two-Walking in this World-recap

2011-12-24T06:46:00.001-06:00

Well did a whole lot of reading and thinking this week. Discovering a Sense of proportion,
Self-definition and drawing yourself to fuller size. Coming into ourselves and gaining a sense of a realistic self...there was more to the beginning statement but this grabbed me the best.

As the year is ending and new one is to begin...I've actually taken off some time and not really push hard at anything in the studio. I'm still doing my Tack Down Tuesdays but other wise I've taken a break...Wow did I say that? with the art world out there the competition is always on...and artists are trying their hardest to be seen and keep the action going on their work and added streams of income. I could be afraid I'm not out there too...but I'm not. I could be afraid I might be going into a creative block..but I'm not.. I'm just taking a break...just being present and enjoying the holiday season..cookies are baked and presents and gift cards are wrapped. Lights have been on the outside trees for a few weeks..thanks to grown children/my four young adults...or I should say all my 20'somethings in the house.

I really like the statement Gaining a sense of a realistic self...
Section one-Identity... Becoming ourselves, and this is all of ourselves...I had the experience with my walking friend to be seen, heard and valued...or as Julia Cameron talks about having a Believing Mirror. it's a blessing to have that happen...I felt so good afterwards.. I was gifted with the words, I've noticed how you have grown so much lately...Wow that was a surprise cause when your trying to juggle all the plates up in the air and put the show on and keep the streams of income...coming in, it can be really darn hard to see that you're making progress. I'm growing to a full size as stated...or becoming that full time person in my own life..how beautiful it that.

So now to Section two-Becoming Larger... I'm fortune enough to have a few friends that can see all of me and not just the elephant trunk or just a leg...That can see the whole and all my parts. And they are not afraid of losing me...Have you ever had some one be a wet blanket on any part of your choices as you choice to grow in your life? And then they really dis you down so that you stay the same size you are and they can feel secure in keeping you that way? ...No instead you decide to take a class and venture out and do a bit of exploring and expanding and bang! someone rains on your parade...that's a wet blanket for you...I don't know where it came from and I'm glad I'm able to be happy for people who seek to expand on different areas of there lives...I truly get excited for them that they are doing that giving themselves a gift to live fully..Be it a stubborn strike in me or rebellious side...tell me no or you can't and I'll end up showing you how... not in everything but things that really matter the most to me.
So what I'm gathering is become larger or take those growth steps as a creative human being you may have to venture out on limb by yourself but by doing that you really aren't alone you have a greater presence that is there to open doors and offer more opportunities..what matters is saying yes to them and being that adventurous type and pilgrimage it on.. What's the hardest though through this venturing is keeping the old friends...one may have to distance for a while, which it can be critical for both but so much more healthy then being held back and stuffed in a box that you were never meant to be in..

Section three-Transformation, it's scary to actually make the change..and one may feel a bit crazier then before if they are creativity changing and seeking to grow...awkward feeling along with unsure but then there's the excited parts the possibilities showing there faces that excite you even more...change is never a ducks in a row kind of procedure...there's got to be gaps of flexibility left open for the proper transformation, swaying in an area for a while isn't a place to give up. It's about experience...yours and yours along and a bit of some pain..or vulnerability that part of possible being open to get hurt...it's scary for sure...but this is where it really happens. We have to use different skill to not lost how far we've come.. As Humor...I've found it helpful and I know I've heard it before said like this...Laughter is the Language of the Heart... At this time one might give themselves some gentle play time...An fun artist date...and I feel that is what I just did for myself yesterday.. with reading this all this week and putting in to action with out really trying I feel ready to make some growth steps...Lets say I've got some plans that I would like to carry out creativity with my own artwork.. I have to admit that there is a bit of panic about this all...and I relate this to the feelings of being scared but honored to carry it out..and with those feelings there is a spiritual aspect that seems to be a pipeline for me..and that's Good Orderly Direction...a awesome awareness of good orderly direction..

Today is Christmas Eve and we will be heading to my sister house for the evening...I would love to take my two four legged loves to the park this morning to let them run a muck at the park...sniffing and romping around...a good play session is what it called. Connection with their types.. So best be heading off.

Wishing everyone that reads this a Very Merry Christmas

A nice long walk and Lunch

2011-12-24T05:52:00.003-06:00

My friend Robyne R. picked me up and we headed to the favorite place she love to walk and it was beauitful I have to admit that.. waterfalls and trees and the path goes on forever...we did a good 4miles and it went by fast...walking by myself is my church but walking with a friend is a blessing...we chatted about this and how to fix the world's problems...aways love when the conversation leads in a full circle.

I had purchase a few books for some people a gifts and then I bought myself two magazines for the Refrigerator...1. Be the change you wish to see in the world-Gandhi...2. Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. So fitting to have a reminders.

I received my last Prayer flag panel from the group on line...I know have 9 flags including my own...how cool is that.

It was a very long day, I have to say I lived fully too.

What about Love and Belonging?

2011-12-23T08:11:00.002-06:00

From Brene's Browns book...
Exploring the power of love, belonging, and being enough.

When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don't fit with who we think we're supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly preforming, perfecting, pleasing,and proving.. Our Sense of worthiness -that critically important piece that gives us access to love and belonging -lives inside of our story.

So I'm to accept all of me the good, the bad, the ugly, parts that I don't think fit and the real loving parts.. what is my story? do I know that? Well honestly I think it still in the making but accepting all of me now is a good start. and not that I'm some terrible person but there are these parts that I have to admit I might have been running away from.

The greatest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now...
have you ever Thought...when I lose 20 lbs I'll worthy...or when I sell enough art work...or when I find a partner or when I can do it all and look like I'm not even trying..?

I might be losing a few people as I go through my own introspective journey here but will it matter in the big picture...no? there is a side of me that seems to be awakened lately and answering to a spiritual creative side is really calling and understanding in a different way seems also to be knocking at the door.

On with defining love and belonging... Most of us use the term fitting in and belonging interchangeably and like many of you, I'm really good at fitting in. We know exactly how to hustle for approval and acceptance. We know what to wear, and what to talk about, how to make people happy, and what not to mention- we know how to chameleon our way through the day. Brene's shares

Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.

Our society has feed us a bunch of bull for way to long...we should be like this to be fitting in and talk about how it screws up our minds...when we should be embracing the independence of the individual person. I admit I fall victim to the craziness of trying to be accepted...for me and many of us it I feel it has to do with receiving the instant love/belonging and accepted. and not feeling that old hurt feeling of being the last on the line to be picked...God who want to go through that...how do you help someone feel good when there little and have just experienced that...well that is just a small sample of the whole other side...shame.

So Brene carries on with her research...Of this, I am actually certain. After collecting thousands of stories I'm willing to call this fact: A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all woman, men and children. We are biologically, cognitively, physically and spiritually wired to love, to be loved and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don't function as we were meant to. We break, we fall apart We numb. We ache. We hurt others We get sick. There are certainly other causes of illness, numbing and hurt, but the absence of love and belonging will always lead to suffering.

she explains three years of research on this subject as follows.

Love: We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect kindness and affection.
I add what does Vulnerable mean-Vulnerable means you're more likely to experience hurt feelings, injury or illness. Now why would anyone want to walk around and be vulnerable...I don't think we do but by learning that being in this place we can experience hurt feelings and get throw them and have a better understand because of it, it can be possible to allow it.. Know both side of ourselves that we can be so open to get hurt and we can also be so powerful not to..silly balance of it all.
Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists with in each one of them-we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injures if they are acknowledge, healed and rare.

Belonging:
Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.

Well I have to share...I went to the book store to purchase this book by Brene Brown, The gifts of Imperfection, for a friend and as I was there waiting to have the book seller go in back to get the book I was looking at other books and the book.. The Dyslexic Advantage-Unlocking the Hidden Potential of the Dyslexic Brain...I snatch up that book so fast.. and like I can read fast...takes me a while to comprehend and understand it all as I share the book I'm reading now about the imperfection...I truly am being selfish, and posting it here so I can better understand it..not to impress any one but only for my own needs to connect better and undertand. So this book is a gift that I found something else that opens my mind and eyes to a better understand of self - acceptance. Even to this day...I personal walk in vulnerable...how I pronounce words or how I share a concepts or how I can't spell when it comes down to some major writing, with grammar problems etc..that has plagued me all my life...So when acknowledgeing my hurts..I'm still doing them at the age of 50 and I constantly have people trying to correct me...I understand that they have a need to "help" or I don't get what are you talking about or I don't understand what your trying to say...That's why I went to art...a way to let it out and express a deeper part of me that I can relate to and it really doesn't matter if they get the whole just of it but they get some of it and the mixed media style of work that I do...graphic and urbanish...with fragment of images or values of color and shapes are my way of expressing...I really don't to a super job of explaining but yet I do have to come to acceptance of it and with that I then can carry a better understand to verbally express myself too. constantly learning..

And the last bits here...Brene shares... Given how difficult it is to cultivate self-acceptance in our perfectionist society and how our need for belonging is hardwired, it's now wonder that we spend our lives trying to fit in and gain approval.
It's so much easier to say, I'll be whoever or whatever you need me to be as long as I feel like I'm part of this" From gangs to gossiping, we'll do what it takes to fit in if we believe it will meet our need for belonging. But it doesn't. we can only belong when we offer our most authentic selves and when we're embraced for who we are.

Well that's a whole lot to take in and a bit deep...I really am curious how I'll comprehend this all and bring it into the studio and into my class teachings.. One never knows'...keeps it exciting..

Back to studying my books

2011-12-22T07:43:00.002-06:00

From connection to transformation

The gifts of Imperfection-by Brene Brown,

She defines her research as this... Connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they drive sustenance and strength from the relationship. Powerful words...being seen, heard and valued.

Connection begets connections...in artist way book I hear Energy beget energy. Isn't it that way...when we put the positive out with out realizing it you get the positive back...Brene, shares that we are wired for connection, it's in our biology. From the time we are born, we need connection to thrive emotionally, physically, spiritually, and intellectually. from a book she read, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships.. it's confirmed that we are hardwired for connection and that our relationships shape our biology as well as our experiences. The stronger we are connected to someone emotionally, the greater the mutual force. That connected-ness we experience in our relationships impacts the way our brain develops and preforms.. Our innate need for connection makes the consequences for disconnection that much more real and dangerous. We may think that the new technology is for instance a connection.. It's been kind of an impostor for connection, making us believe we're connected when we're really not-at least not in the ways we need to be. We might be confusing communicative with feelings of connected. Just because we're plugged in, doesn't mean we feel seen and heard.. In fact, hyper-communication can mean we spend more time on Facebook then we do face to face with people we care about.. She then shares about the myth of self-sufficiency. One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "Going it Alone," some how we've come to equate success with not needing anyone.

well now, I know I've watch my self and family members fall in to the false connection and we've always been the self-sufficient types...Well do it ourselves can't count on anyone else to be there for us kind of attitude. Not that what one says,writes or studies should be taken for gold but it does raise concern and where we as a human race are headed to...dooms day ? no but when we aren't aware ourselves of our own behaviors how can we every make the adjustments we need to, so we can continually grow...well I know some people don't think growing or changing at their age is something they need to be doing but some people have a need to make the changes because something is unsettling in them...I personal feel that if change needs to happen it's got to start with me first.. pointing the finger at someone else to blame is not being responsible for your own action.

So the need to connect, have compassion and the courage to embrace who you are to be. I guess as an creative type/artist it just comes with the package, new ideas, new ways to look and get to an ideas and carry it out has always been in my blood...Not that I'm a great problem solver like my husband but I do have some skillful ways about me that I've depended on for sometime and used and has carried on into all aspect of my life.

Now to Transformation (week 2 last section) out of the book Walking in this World

Quote: But not only medicine, engineering, an painting are arts; living itself is an art. Erich Fromm

Experience teaches that life, and especially life in the arts, is an much about mystery as it is about mastery. To be successful we must learn to follow not the leader but our own inner leading, the "inspiration" artist have acknowledged through the centuries. "Something" is telling us to make art. We must trust that something.

It is a spiritual law that when we are ready to transform, transformation will come to us. We are all conduits for the great creative energy that seeks expression in us and through us. When we yearn to be different, it is not just our restless ego. It is our accurate response to the creative energy with in us that is seeking a new venue for expression. We are all creative and we are, in turn, creations. Just as we get restless to make something new, so too our creator may be restless to make something from us.
Example: thinking of yoga and receive a yoga flyer. Clarify any wish or dream or goal and experience information, people, and opportunities to flow toward you. The spiritual shorthand for this is the phrase "take one step toward God and discover that God has taken a thousand steps toward you" "Call it open-mindedness" or the willingness to be always beginner but receptivity and openness characterized the temperament of all great artists.

When we are changing size, we feel large, clear and powerful one day, tiny and defenseless the next. We feel euphoric and then we feel enraged. This is good this is healthy. It just doesnt' feel that way. Our identified self seems false. It is not false, Just incomplete. I remember realizing that the days I was confused I was actually grow in understand. little did I know but after the confused state past I could make the connection to it all and see how it was all laid out and worked out..

We may try several sets of creative hats and shoes looking for those that fit. This is normal natural, and to be encouraged. It is also very threatening to those who want an artistic career to progress in neat linear increments like a academic or professional career. Would that is could. More often we experience awkward growing pains as we grope toward a new identity role.

The unfolding saga of life on all levels is one of constant transformation, constant changing of form. When we cooperate with our need and desire to grow, we are cooperating with a spiritual law. Even before we ask our coming needs are clear.

Art, and artful living, is a constant collaboration between what we are made from and what we wish to make ourselves, or what I would like to add is connect with. As we open ourselves consciously to inspiration and instruction as to our truest current form, we are lead not only to creativity but also to comfort.

As a walking friend a while back shared with me..."You know Laura, You are comfortable in your own skin."

So should I try to tie these together? What I'm reading is the importance to have people in your life that you can connect with that are not going to belittle you or make you into their being.. We/I am a every grow being, that has a awesome brain that isn't used to is capacity but really would like to...and when I find people to share that with and I'm seen, heard and valued in conversation and connection that really is a wonderful base to start off with. And then when I can be the receiver on the other end and see, hear and value another human being for who that are...connection is made and it's so important to feel that comfort that Julia talks about when we start making the transformation in our own creative personal growth...

I have to admit I'm not always connecting in the way I would like to with others. I seem to carry some unwanted not so healthy to my growth stuff around...You know "Issues" but I'm learning to let them stay where they are and not pick them up and lug them around like extra bags that weigh a ton...It really hampers a connection with another when you got that hanging around your neck.. So all this stuff I'm studying and reading about is helping me look at my life these days..with taking a break some what, it has me going into my introspective mode and then this kind of stuff slips into my art all the time as my way to connection and express that connection.

Well on to wrapping a few more gifts today.

Mid-week thoughts

2011-12-21T08:19:00.003-06:00

I should be making fudge and baking some cookies but I find difficult to do that this morning.. I have a few errands to run today and then I think I'll do it later in the afternoon. Kind of disappointed we aren't going to see any amount of snow for Christmas...Rats! as the kid in me always looks forward to that...I will find what it's like in other parts of the world with out snow...some don't mind but I look forward this this kind of change especially of the seasons...one of the reason why I enjoy living in this area.

I've launched my 2012 calendar and just sticking with an order of 25..one I'll keep for myself and the rest I'm offering for sale...experimenting to see how it all works. You've got to take risks now and then.

Well going to keep is short and sweet so I can tend the homestead duties and run those errands...

Dec 20th Tack Down Tuesday

2011-12-20T06:52:00.001-06:00

"Peace on Earth"
8 x 8 collage on watercolor paper, matted all sides 2" to a final size of 12 x 12 ready to slip into a frame.

Materials used:
Stained tissue papers, textured gesso painted paper, magazines, fonts letters from magazines, pastels, dove and word image transfers, acrylics and glazing. Heat fused to 140 lb watercolor paper, polymer medium and UV stain varnish are applied.

Meaning behind the art:
The Dove universally symbolizes innocence, gentleness, faith, marital affection, peace and constancy."My piece here has an urban graphic feel to it"
The deepest kind of Peace and Faith is symbolized by the Dove. It's image stills our worried and troubled thoughts, and shows us how to find renewal in the silence of our minds. In such moments of stillness, we are able to appreciate the simple blessings that go unnoticed in the chaos that surrounds us each day.

The Sacred Dove serves as a gentle reminder that there is always hope, new possibilities and miracles waiting, just around the corner...

$45.00 plus tax and s/h

On to the next part...Becoming Large

2011-12-18T09:09:00.001-06:00

It seems that the Walking in this World book is broken into three section for each week. Which is loaded with way to much good stuff and it so helpful to break it up and take it a section at a time.

So as I venture out, Expansion can be frightening. Growth can feel foreign, even "wrong" Julia shares with us.
She shares a story about the three blind mice and the Elephant...that each of these mice took a different section and described what they felt... thinking that was the most of it...when in fact it wasn't...The joke , of course is the elephant was very like all of these things and that its sum is something larger then any of it's parts.

I can relate to this section....One day we will feel very large and competent. The next day we will feel that yesterday's grander size was just grandiosity and that we are really much smaller and more wobbly that we knew. Changing sizes, we go through growing pains and many of those pains are the pangs of an identity crisis. We may pray about it only to discover prayer is not help: God himself seems to be forging our new identity. The more we pray for it to go away, the stronger it actually becomes. Well I thought it was my hormones..ha ha ha..

But when we change sizes creatively we begin to wonder, Oh dear Now what kind of animal am I? And this is where we begin to ask people to help us to know. This where we often get in trouble....My thoughts are if I'm really starting to get in tune with my creative side and my spiritual life why would I go to friends to find help...well friends that only see the tail or just the trunk...I really need some one with a bit more knowledge then that...sounds like I don't trust my friends...that's not it but what I truly need is someone that has had experience in the growth of a creativity life...

When you start to get bigger, it can scare both you and your friends/husbands too. They worry about being abandoned or wondering now where they will fit in to your life now that you've become this big artist, composer, or writer...remember that's their insecurities not yours. Oh you my wish that they support you the whole way but they can't always do that...because there doing their own growing hopefully. You might even get some friends that will want to downsize you. be aware, don't give up.

The tricky part about changing sizes creatively is that we want to keep our old friends but not our old identity. We can keep those who are willing to see more of the elephant. But some of our old friends may need -at least temporarily- to be declared off limits, those who see only the elephant's tail. I hate to say it but theirs been some toxic moments that I've had to add some distance..for the well being of both parts and for the new growth that we might be making...it's fragle and needs time to gain some strength.

As I read this section I can't help but think about my own children and their friends...how not being creative and still having growth and their friends not supporting them on that growth, not only for creative people expanding their new directions this is something for us all to realize and both sides of the coin too. I know I've falling in the pit of saying things that might hinder someones growth just because I thought I needed them to stay who they are and not change...That really is an impossible act to put upon someone..As they say "Change is inevitable."

Well despite all the changing going on, Julia shares, It's part of our cultural tradition to believe and act as if artists are crazy. Is it any wonder we sometimes feel that way ourselves? At our craziest-looking, we are sometimes our most sane. We still have to stop and ask, What am I doing? What the hell are we doing? Who the hell are we, really? For me at this time it's so important that I pull in some solitude and walk in the woods so I can answer these question..there is no way in hell that for all our lives lived on this earth we know exactly what were doing...that's just impossible, I know there's a few out there that think they know...

I guess this section of week two also has you looking at the possibility that say if your an painter and you keep getting these calling or directional pings to be a hand bound book maker maybe you might want to look into that a bit and the expansion of your own creative life... And you will make and met new people and you will be happier that you did. instead of wondering what if ? you should answer a call now and than so you have no regrets...

More sharing from Julia..Sometimes, we are so overwhelmed by our life events, so swamped by the needs and expectations of others and our own feelings of (over) responsibility, we can feel completely lost...Wandering in the dark woods of our life, as hapless and at risk as Hansel and Gretel...Where am I? And who am I?

Creating a wish list helps us remember who we are, it can help us take small concrete, creative actions to reinforce that identity.

My favorite statement...When we are active on our own behalf, we tend to feel less overwhelmed by the needs and wants of others. I can't tell you how true that is, like preparing for the One of a Kind show just recently...I was involved on my own behalf, and all the stuff that normally goes on in extend and close families can hook you in and make you go a bit crazy and sap you of creative energies in the wrong ways. This is all left on the way side to take care of itself and themselves...a blessing for all involved..

At this point anyone that is following along on this blog lately probably has lost interest with all my introspective work...but I have to say I'm getting excited for the new year just right around the corner and doing a bit of expansion in the creative realms...

After you make a wish list (about 5 things) take a closer look at that list and break down the wish and see if there is a small doable act you can do. Remember energy be gets energy...small doable acts add up to wonder and possibility.

Just found my goals for 2011 and had a look at it and on there was a wish list of sorts...kind of amazing to see what expansion this year had.

Well off to walk the dogs, hang out in the studio a bit this afternoon to produce the Tack Down Tuesday piece.

compassion and Idenity, wordy again.

2011-12-18T08:08:00.001-06:00

Wow! two totally different words...what do they have in common? maybe nothing...
Compassion from A Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, Compassion practice is daring. It involves learning to relax and allow ourselves to move gently toward what scares us.. Compassion is not a default response. The first response to pain in our lives or someone elses is to self protect. We protect ourselves by looking for someone or something to blame. Or sometimes we shield ourselves by turning to judgement or by immediately going into fix it mode.

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. it's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others, compassion become real when we recognize our shared humanity.

I love this part-allow ourselves to move gently toward what scares us..

So moving on into week two of Walking in this World- by Julia Cameron, it's about discovering a sense of proportion.
an ongoing process of self-definition. redrawing boundaries and limits within which you have lived, you draw yourself to a fuller size. coming into ourselves, we sometimes encounter resistance from those in our immediate environment. The reading and tasks of this week aim at bolstering the sense of a realistic self on the face of difficulty and even discounting.

So with moving into this weeks chapter.. I bring in a bit of compassion...mainly when looking at myself and where I am in the artist realm. first things first...identity,

I just had this conversation last night with a few good people at a small Christmas dinner party...and it was with a retired Policemen...he shared that he's notice on the job of being a policeman there is this need to produce...but with the line of business that it is there's not much space to produce unless you call producing a person for a charge or crime they did, etc...but he noticed that...and I responded that my belief is we are human beings and we seem to have this need to be creative with our hand, minds and souls...and this morning I read. All of us are creative. Some of us get the mirroring to know we are creative, but few of us get the mirroring to know how creative...
I look at my life as a series of events that lead to becoming ourselves as JC shares, all of ourselves. Can you name yourself?
As of I'm an artist working in medium of collage and paper, teaching and presenting workshops. Well for me I can, but I do know some other creative types have a hard time with it...I concider it a passing over into a different realm or level of thinking...once I did that and starting thinking that way and understanding that it wasn't ego but more so the truth, it was much easier to deal with it then not and wonder.

Julia shares with us...Who do you think you are? We often don't really know the answer to that we know something along the lines of "I think I might be...." When we are surrounded by people who either can not see us or can not acknowledge what they see, our image blurs. We begin to feel both a certain self-doubt and a certain stubborn inner knowing that we may then dismiss as crazy. Part of us knows we're more than they see; part of us fears we're less then we hope...This inner friction is painful...

hmm there's that word again Painful... So I ask can I move into area of my life that is painful and have compassion for myself? Sometimes I can't...and I'm thankful for having artists and creative types to be my believing mirrors, Believing Mirrors reflect us as large and competent creatively. I'm fortunate to have a close creative family and for the most part I can turn to them quickly to help me deal with what ever bit of craziness comes my way.. Kind of like nipping in the butt before it grows too large.

Now to remember this book is about helping one continue the practical art of creativity. Being able to find the right resources to keep our encouragement going is a challenge. As some call it finding your tribe or your people that can encourage you with out mocking you.. and truly believe in you.

To continue on a artistic life we my think we need a map like someone who scouts out a banking business career and can really see it all laid out...but thats one thing that is hard to see early on... but if one just keeps doing that inner itch will be the artist's compass. Art is not a linear and neither is an artist's life. Leads back to sometimes I don't know who I am. I think this goes to say for the most part all human beings have these moments not just artists...we seem to muddle along and then we stop and ask what am I doing and who am I? We realize we are far more multiple and rich then most of us assume...I remember hearing you aren't just what you do... which is a tough concept for people that have been working hard at it for sometimes..I know I fall into the moments of obsession thinking and that's all I seek is what I do...which I have to stop and look and listen and relax a moment and simple ask those question now and then...Call it centering or grounding...that's mainly why I go walking in the woods...to get reacquainted with myself, and spiritual guidance..sounds odd but it works.. I usually return with a good feeling, and I do hear my soul say this is what I am and who I'm meant to be.. There's a point when it might come down to a simple acting of asking for help through moments of craziness and listening to the every growing small voices..

Art begins in the heart. By listening to our hearts desires and listening to them closely, we are not only led into making the art we dream of making but also into dream of that art being realized on a meaningful scale. Like the farmer in Field of dreams...We must first build it..whatever it is and trust that they will come..

It is a spiritual law that no art blooms with out an artist also blooming...which again brings me back to if you want to work on your art...you have to work on your life. And my life right now seems to be seeking a bit of higher connections and also understanding which for me leads to more compassion in my life...the kind of compassion of understanding on a higher spiritual level and talk about being scared/fear can and will this be convey in my collage work? Go question one that I'm going to have to ask for help with. JC shares, We are inhabited by a larger life than we know. We doubt our own identiy, that identity is still guiding us, still nudging us to our rightful path...well I know I sure feel that...a nudge, call it ideas, inspirations or a passion to carry out. Something larger and finer then we know calls us to be larger and finer then we dare. So we act on faith, descend into doubt, and watch in amazement as our dreams carry us forward with a knowing of their own. Sometimes our dreams feel born desptie us. She goes on to say..Art may be the finest form of prayer. Making art is quite literally a path "to the Maker"

And to end this with a few more words from JC...We make art not merely to make our way in the world but also to make something of ourselves, an often the something that we make is a person with an inviolable sense of inner dignity. We have answered yes when our true name is called.

I go back to the first week and see what I wrote... is this my true name... One with a strong commitment, grounded in reality and inspiring with enthusiasm, a devoted honest and alive individual with a great passion, seeking authenticity instead of seeking outside approval.

this was from the questions/task work she ask you to do in week one.. 10 positive adjectives to describe yourself...self help or what every you call it... some people have great fears about addressing these kinds of topics and issue...might I have some, got to be honesty when called to be that artist and put myself out there in the world there is a moment of craziness that has to be touched upon with great inner knowing or guidance be sought after to keep moving forward and smoothly as can be..

Learning about Courage

2011-12-17T08:14:00.001-06:00

I'm going to share again about a few things...Courage...which I've read means to take heart. Then I think about Brave Heart with Mel Babe' Gibson.. and the painted face and riding with that rage look on his face, standing for what he believes and not to concerned about what will happen. You know the Heroic kind of Courage,

and then theirs the Ordinary Courage I'm learning about, it's the kind of courage that speaks honestly and open about who we are and about what we're feeling, and bout our experience (good and bad) is the definition of courage. (from the book The Gifts of Imperfection.) She-Brene Brown shares, putting our life on the line...is heroic. But putting our vulnerability on the line is Ordinary courage...and in today's world it's extraordinary.

I can relate to this statement...Do you know how incredibly brave it is to say "I don't know" When you're pretty sure everyone around you gets it? Man I have many moments like that all may life...but lately I'm so afraid to state it as of I'm asking more when I don't get it and it's great people are so willing to share...and it strikes up good conversation... but I use think that you had to know all and be all and be "Prefect" by far I never was prefect but it was front I put on...when in fact it was falling and crumbling all around me...a facade I was playing with myself and an illusion I seemed to be living..all to not look prefect or like I had it all together...

So with it all I've falling apart a bit after all the excitement of the last few months...which is normal and a cycle that when given a chance to regroup and rest I'm ready for the next round of creative excitement.

So getting back ordinary courage...it's about being honesty, open and asking for what you need...one of the braves things you can do...I also relate to her sharing about..taking the risk to be vulnerably and disappointed at times.. As the story goes, she had wanted to be ask for a speaking or conference engagement and then she was and a friend ask aren't you excited...well she shrugged it off and played it down, mainly so if it didn't work out perfect she wouldn't be disappointed or hurt...when in fact sharing it with someone when you find out you don't have to deal with what ever in isolation...And if things don't go well you can be brave, have courage to be vulnerably and share that again with someone safe and get through and have courage to stay real in your own life...and being perfect isn't such a big deal any more...You also find out others have walked the same path as you but where afraid to be open to hurt or vulnerably...

Well I'm rambling again but it's a part of my life that seems to be needing a look see and I've been finding great comfort in that.

I've not been in the studio since last Monday and I'm looking forward to it this Monday for the Tack Down Tuesday pieces I make.. I've got list of things to do and prepare for after this holiday season but I'm actually detaching myself from them now and staying in the holiday spirit that always seem to try to play scrooge with me till I give up and just show up for the season...Off to the woods to fill the body with some spiritual vitamins.

introspective work...deep thinking on a level of new perspective.

2011-12-16T07:39:00.001-06:00

I'm re posting the beginning statement in Week One of Walking in this World...Discovering a sense of origin...
This week initiates your creative pilgrimage. (oh I love those two words together) You are the point of origin. You begin where you are with who you are, at this time, at this place. You may find yourself hopeful, skeptical, excited, resistant, and all of the above. The readings and tasks in week one all aim at pinpoint the "You" you have been evading. When we avoid our creativity, we avoid ourselves. When we meet our creativity, we meet ourselves, and that encounter happens in the moment. The willingness to be ourselves gives us the origin in originality.

Origin - or·i·gin
1. source: the thing from which something develops, or the place where it comes from

2. ancestry: the ethnic group, social class, or country that somebody belongs to or that somebody's family comes from

Synonyms: source, derivation, cause, beginning, basis, foundation

And now I'm adding from the other book I'm re-reading...here I go again..

from the introduction section of the book...Gift of Imperfection...Brene Brown,

When we're looking for compassion, we need someone which is deeply rooted, able to bend and most of all, we need some one who embraces just for our strengths and struggles. We need to honor our struggle by sharing it with someone who has earned the right to hear it...when We're looking for compassion, it's about connecting with the right person at the right time about the right issue.

further down...on the same page.. about a person she told of her shame and fear.. Ashely wasn't uprooted and thrown into the storm created by my experience. She also wasn't so ridge that she snapped with judgment and blame. She didn't try to fix me or make me feel better; she just listened and had the courage to share some of her own vulnerabilities with me...

So what is this all about...this mornings readings and a few thoughts.. As I've mentioned before this is my time for introspective work...deep thinking on a level of new perspective. (which always happens around late fall early winter)

What I've gathered is it's good to know that I can be vulnerable and have moments of raw emotions that I, in past situation would reach for something to stop that emotion from escalating.. to not feel the real me...cause along with that came a roller coast of unstoppable stuff...fear, embarrassment, shame, etc. etc....and why is it not OK to feel this? I do know now that I'll make it through these feeling but when I was young I didn't know that.. It's a point that hurts and when it hurts we have been condition to fix it fast and not feel...Our parents have been there for us and helped us not feel and I have done the same thing to my children when the were younger...not so much now as they are young adults and need to be true to themselves and live their lives and make their mistakes and feel their joys..extra. So where is the connection if there is any connection?

What ever journey you're to be heading out on.. or setting out you are the person you will be taking with...your are the source that something will develop from, the beginning from. And finding the right people to share that with and be authentic and real isn't an easy job. And most of the time you may feel alone and with little connections. Knowing where you can find good roots or source for what you need to deal with life is lifelong journey too.

With reading the two books together...call it my dual or multi-task syndrome I have (old Gemini traits) I am a seeker and I've been always a seeker of my own truths and good orderly direction with my life. Self knowledge, self discovery whatever it is...I'm on a more wholeheartedly spiritual creative path in life, be it the age and body changes mid life and where I would like to continue to go...don't know. So making the connection to this spot that we all have is in us, being vulnerable which means-open to hurt...we can start there...being real and knowing that we are human and we can get hurt by many things that come into our lives daily...but how does one handle the hurt and deal with it has been screwed up from the start...not allowing people to feel hurt...heck we can frequently feel and verbalize all other emotions but hurt.. just pure simple hurt...Oh that's not good...we need to fix that right now!!! when in fact I've had the experience to say simple Yes I hurt right now and still function OK.... and with that I end up seeking a totally healthier way to deal with my hurts or vulnerabilities...by seeking guidance or good orderly direction, new attitude or a different perspective. Though my life is nothing to compare to others right now that are really having hard times I do have my share of hurts.

So I may be getting to deep here but when you can make sense of you own thoughts and the whys where's and how comes then I feel you have a better understanding of what you would want out of life and more open to good direction and move forward and grow as a human being/ artists. and one of the best quotes I've ever hard was from Julia Cameron in her first book.."if you want to work on your art then work on you life" As for the word Art...that can be many things not just visual art hanging on the wall it can be you art of tending the house plants or the art of gardening...what holds true is when you are responsible for yourself and seeking your own happiest and deal with your own life's messy bits your are a full time creative person...

What happens if when you were born some shared with you that this is your life now and you will be on a creative pilgrimage and you would be given the willingness to be yourself and be authentic? Would you do it? would you continue to seek a life like this?

Starting now is all we have...set out, commit to, and move graceful in your own vulnerable ways and seek a higher creative wholehearted life...again now is the time. You are the place to begin.

a gift to myself....

2011-12-15T17:10:00.001-06:00

I purchased the new book from Julia Cameron's collect...it won't be in till January thought...I might wait till I finish the trilogy group books I have or jump right in...I'm a junkie to the JC books.. you should check out her new website.

and I receive a hit as Good Orderly Direction to reach Prayer flag making...hmmm now that's an Idea.

well off to relax...I mean it fee up and relax.

Well... did it again.....

2011-12-15T11:17:00.001-06:00

That cycle of cycles of over thinking and being overwhelmed with life and things that aren't even here yet... so then I turn to the morning journaling writing and let it drain out on the page...repeating it many times...then I go to the last section of week one of walking in this world, receiving exactly what I need.
Julia shares the image of it snowing and how being inside makes her want to make soup, knit or something like that..A moment to stop and just do some mundane tasks and keep it really simple.   You see since September I've been in high gear and progressing right long at a steady speed and very blessed and grateful for all that has come my way while I was busy living "my dream life"... then a small zinger came about with the husband becoming sick and laid up in the hospital for 6 days right before I was to present my artwork in the One of kind show...after all this...now it's the holiday time and all that involves that which in our case is cut down and cut back and simplified from years pass so it makes it much more simpler. Was I prepared for this all no, who is anyways...so along with all this going on my morning pages have been a bit of a woman's whine fest...and then I go and add the projections of all the work I have to do as the new year begins...tax's and classes and workshops..I feel like I was sinking, really I wasn't but it feel that way..

I read in Julia's book, about watching it snowing and she said something to the effect of "Knitting up the soul" how grand is that to hear..time to do some knitting of the soul. Before the words that struck me where taking a creative pilgrimage as of setting up for your own personal passionate journey in a highly creative spiritual life.   So back to Knitting up the soul concept, we need a window of imagination a time to rest. She share's, Artists have stared out of windows and into their souls for a very long time. it is something in the staring - out that enables us to do the looking in. We forget that.

I sat after reading that and looked all that has progressed this far and how grateful I am that it's worked out as well as it has...small parts so very unknown as to how it would work out have come to show me and my family that trusting in that unknown though it seem so crazy to do is exactly what to do and small hints of good orderly direction are give at the right moments and we take the risk and go with it.

Our great strength becomes our great weakness. We forgot to rest. The ego hate to rest. and our souls long for it...especially after the time our family has had.

Julia share's another story about a woman who use to do needlepoint and has stopped. She's abandoned her hobby. she would be running round asking for more hours in a day... A wise old friend familiar suggest that she tap her creative resources again and pick up the meditative act of needlepoint again. When she did she returned also to a sense of optimism and perspective. A stitch at a time, she began to mend her heart and life-slowing down, she speeded her self toward recovery and creativity...

I read that and know just what I needed to do and always do and that is get out early in the moist morning air and walk...walk ...and walk..I went to the woods and after about 10minutes I feel my whole body getting filled up and my frantic running overwhelming thoughts in my head about things that have come yet were settle down to a much more manageable pace.   I know it changed my attitude pretty darn quickly...it grounds, centers and fills me up every time. So I've got to finish up my holiday shopping and tend to that part of my life...I really don't like to shop so putting myself out in the woods with thought can bring such peace when I'm standing in line with people that are always rushing to get know where fast...I remember the 12 deer and 2 bucks I saw and the red tail hawk and the lone coyote turning back every few feet to check where I was on the path as he/she ran off. I know that slowing down and resting and sticking in the mundane will better ground me before I venture forward again...instead of rushing and steam rolling forward.

Art work on the news

2011-12-14T17:56:00.001-06:00

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news%2Flocal%2Fmathie&id=8467256
a piece of my art work is in the exhibit...look close.

How cool is that?

Commitment and follow your bliss

2011-12-14T07:14:00.001-06:00

So as Joesph Campbell says....Follow you bliss. But in following the bliss you still have to commitment to following it and the ideas that come with it. Lately the bliss for me is about inspiring other to be creative through shared information and ideas...Ideas...Oh look out as this comes in to play I'm actually toying with an ideas of starting a prayer flag project at the art league I belong to...as I share a few days ago an artist from Janesville WI shared with a group of creative types like me to exchange prayer flags and so far it's a wonderful idea. The prayer flags are coming in from all the members...I'll have 9 total with my own included. What a great start...

Julia shares with us about commitment and ideas..Everything is energy. Ideas are simple organized energy, a sort of mold into which more solidified energy can be poured. A book begins with an idea, so does a social movement and a building. We case our dreams and idea ahead of us, And we move toward them, their content takes on solidity. We co create our lives...she share in a story about horse jumpers when they are going to jump their horse over the fence the have to throw there faith over first...

Does it sound to easy? well it's not it's a responsibility and privilege to work toward you ideas and dreams. As Artists we pitch a ball of creativity and we also have to catch it too.

Commit to make something you love and you will find that the needed supplies come to hand. Our creative energy triggers a creative response.

Commit to playing the music you love, and the music of life becomes more lovely.

When it comes down to money...Our cash flow may not immediately increase, but our opportunity flow will increase.

I love this...Committed to the "what," We trigger the "how"-needed money may appear in the form of an unexpected bonus, a timely and lucrative freelance job, a surprise inheritance, matching funds, or even a corporate scholarship..

As we commit to our dreams, something benevolent commits back.

Art is a matter of commitment. Commitment is of interest to the Great Creator/Good Orderly Directional when we display faith necessary to make our art, write, paint, redesign etc. The Great Creator displays an interest and an active hand in supporting what it is we are doing. We receive supply in all forms.

And then for me as Julia states it's like this... A prayer I had barely voiced before it was answered..

When one of us gives voice to our true nature, it is contagious and others soon give tongue as well.

So now into a self acceptance exercise or task...List 10 positive adjectives that describe yourself.

One with a strong commitment, grounded in reality and inspiring with enthusiasm, a devoted honest and alive individual with a great passion, seeking authenticity instead of seeking outside approval.

After writing this out Julia has us take a look at it so we can begin to see who we are and our traits and how they can be appreciated.

So after reading this section I can't not thinking about the new year coming around the corner. The first start the new ideas in areas that didn't work and question that stirs in my head about what would if I decided to stay in that area. Had a good Art Tribe meeting and listened to how everyone is doing and where they might be deciding to go with the new year as of outdoor art fairs...there's a handful of us in the group that does the out door fairs and some that have decided to stop and others that just didn't even head that way.. I am not sure what I want to do..with teaching and workshop and the galleries I'm working with I'm pretty full with lots to do...but showing the art in an art fair surely gets it out there to more people...so I'm committed to keep in the art's career and the direction is some what laid out but yet open for flexibility so as the next section of the week one is about snow but also about taking a break and slowing down for a bit and gathering, which in some cases is going against the grain of a passionate person in there bliss so I'll see what tomorrow has to bring with the last section of the week one.

Just carrying on with my readings

2011-12-13T08:35:00.000-06:00

I read this article out of Professional Artist magazine and thought Wow!... this is really good to understand, and it fits in with where I'm at with my Artist Way-Walking in this World.. "energy attracts energy"

So on with more stuff and trying to understand it and put it into action...I learn best that way when I can read it, take notes and use it right away...like coming at things from all angles and then I finally get it.. feel it, breath it, and touch it. As I read further into the week ones chapter, it's not about the big drama or creating a lot of drama...it's in the small do-able acts that we can manage daily in our life.. Which I totally relate to and have been trying to stay on track about...or be my own task master..."have a game plan and working at it daily. Back to committing and practicing at something you would really like to do..productive obsessions..funny when you ready to start looking and learning the teacher appears or the information is presented.

From Julia's pages...So much of the difficulty with beginning lies in our perception that we have "so far to go." We have separated art from process into product-"So far to go until it's finished"-when we think like that we have also separated ourselves from Good Orderly Direction...GOD.

I don't what to scary any one away with the God word and not to convert anyone but the creative act of creating takes on a very spiritual practice for me and when I can stay in the practice I'm living a real life one that is authentic to my own needs and not trying to seek approval or be approved.

Quote, Goethe "whatever you think you can do, or believe you can do, begin it, because action has magic, grace and power in it."

We need to get into reality. Art is about making art, nothing more dramatic than that.

here's an idea...shared from the pages...make a "God Jar or Box"to incubate you dreams and hopes and make a "What the Hell" basket for you resentment, annoyances and fears. I like the idea of the box or jar it holds them tight and the basket for the resentments and fears...don't want to hold them tight want to let go of them as fast as you can...I picture the basket with a few fears in there of an upcoming event and the wind coming by and swisping them way...

Well I have some good stuff on commitment for tomorrow..
When I write this out it sticks better in the mind all day... helps me learn..which as I stated before I never want to go stale...always on the path to learn something new.

December's #2 Tack Down Tuesday

2011-12-13T07:37:00.000-06:00

Seeking Peace and Solitude,
8 x 8 collage on 140 lb. watercolor paper, matted all sides 2" ready to slip into a 12 x 12 frame.

Materialsused:

Stainedtissue papers, altered National Geographic magazine with Citra Solv, printeddrawing papers, old book pages and acrylic glazing and altering. Heat fused to140 lb watercolor paper, polymer medium and UV stain varnish are applied.

Meaningbehind the art:

Thistime of year with the temperatures dropping and the limited daylight it has meseeking to find that peaceful state and some quiet time or solitude. I hadstarted off with something totally different on surface of this watercolorpaper, but it wasn’t me it was some inspiration I saw from others works and Itried to emulate it but it wasn’t happening so I centered myself and allow whatcomes natural to come out and be my authentic self and that had me feeling moreat peace and centered. The color blue when presented right can bring theessence of serenity and I feel I captured that here with this simplecomposition in value, line and shape and the directional guidance of one doingtheir own seeking.

$50.00 plus tax and s/h

Artist Way Book 2, Commitment,creativity, and getting started.

2011-12-12T06:55:00.000-06:00

Continuing on with my morning reading in the artists way...why am I sharing? don't know it's fresh on my mind I guess. Julia, has you kind of commenting to doing three pages of writing in the morning before you get started on anything else for the day..she asks you to do an artist date one a week, nothing major about an hour and by yourself..and walk at lest once a week for half an hour..well I know I go over board on the walking..

Yesterday while I was out in the woods I saw quiet few doe's and young ones. It was a bit cool but the smell so fresh and crisp, it was great.. I really do love being a part of the outside elements each day.  Really taking it all in when you take a few deep breaths. The sun was shinning and it felt so good to soak in the Vit D. As I walked or did my granny trot...the ideas of how I'm going to carry out my classes...three different class and the steps I need to take to work with them...out of the blue the ideas come and I'm listening...what I need is a pen and paper out there jot down the ideas...but when it's time to write out the lesson plans it comes then. no worries. I don't like to carry to much when I'm out there walking mainly my keys and cell phone and that's it..

I'm going to share a bit from the book now. Walking in this World.
* Our dreams come true when we are true to them. Reality contains the word "real." We begin to "reel" in our dreams when we toss out the baited hook of intention..(There's the word intentions from the other book I'm reading..which is the beginning steps in process of D.I.G.,dedicate, inspire, and go.)
* When we shift our inner statement from "I'd love to" to "I'm going to," we shift out our victim and into adventurer. In the future it is "will do," becomes what "will happen"
* The Next Right thing- To prove this to ourselves, we need to couple the largeness of our dream with the small, concrete, and do-able"next right thing." As we take the next small step, and the bigger steps move a notch closer to us, downsizing as they move. If we keep on taking small enough next steps and therefore keep chipping away and miniaturizing what we like to call "huge" risks, by the time the risk actually gets to our door, it too, is simply the next right thing, small and do-able and significant but non dramatic. Many of us falter, think that in order to begin a creative work we must know precisely how to finish it and , beyond that, to insure it's reception in the world..We are, in effect, asking for a guarantee of our success before we have taken the single most important step necessary to insure it..That step is commitment...

* Comes down to Just Do it...Nike slogan.. Make art not think about making art. Thinking is not the enemy, but overthinking is.

So I read this and I think back about all the different things I've done and people ask me how I do it all..and not to sound all full of myself but one of the biggest things is the commitment to the act of doing.   And when I commit to something that doesn't mean it's going to be easy and all the next right steps will be laid out for me to follow...most of the times not...but I do open the door to possibilities when I commit to an idea. "Then along the way the dream comes true" and that dream is to be active in a spiritual creative process and never to go stall.

Most of the time it's the incubation period for me when I get hooked in to an idea...it's time for me to gather and pull in possibilities not that I make a move forward just yet but I like to think it out and stay open for good orderly direction..

For example, it's December and many centers and leagues I teach at would like the information for the classes or workshops I would be willing to teach... I can't teach the same class again and again, I honestly I would get bored and if I'm bored then my student will get bored too. So I have to write up a description for a class...I thinking about the class and some area of struggle for them and area that they can really shine with what they have learned and I push forward a bit with some new experimentation for all of us.. the all the students and myself. Well then I submit the description and then I let it go for a few months till it becomes close for the classes to start. Which in about a month I'll be presenting three new classes in three different location so that means it's time for walking...and the walking is the forward motion I've come to honor in a way that's hard to describe..it's like all of sudden with out realizing a great idea comes to and then I can see it played out to as of process or the direction to take.

* it is when we fire the arrow of desire, when we actually start a project, that we rigger the support for our dream. We are what sets things in motion-people and events resonate toward our fiery resolve. Energy attracts energy... as Julia states in this segment of the weeks readings.

So back to commitment..have we forgotten how to commit to something that we have passion to or would like try to care out? Do we teach how to be commit to our passion? or our we looking for the instant and getting to the other side and saying done!   I know that when my thinking is like that just looking to get it done I miss out on all the wonderful mess bit of life, adventure, joy, frustration and act of learning and creating. And the most important part of sharing between each other..

OK taken the second oldest now to the train and eating my oatmeal with some molasse in it for extra vitiums and iron.. I now need to head up starts for my tack down tuesday process and walk the dogs later when it warms up a bit...Hank's only got one layer of fur not two like most dogs..so got to watch out for that.

Some things to think about....dual reading..introspective work

2011-12-11T07:05:00.001-06:00

from the book The Gift of Imperfection...your guide to a wholehearted life.

This is the second time I'm reading it, just in case I missed something the first time. it's been very helpful the last three months.

from the introduction: She talks about The Digging deep button as it 's a secret level of pushing through when we're exhausted and over whelmed and when there's too much to do and too little time for self-care. The old stand bys of pushing through, soldiering up and sucking it up pile on and she said she tried to slow down but she missed having something to turn to when it was depleted and down..She said she needed a tool.

I've been taught to push through and soldier up and it's what we've taught our children to do...and when you don't do it and slow down there seems to be something missing...and I like what the author did...she looks at it from a different perspective and she did her research and shares. People who live a wholehearted life still DIG.

D Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through prayer, mediation, or simply setting their intentions;
I Inspired to make new and different choices;
G Going. They take Action.

When I read all that it gave a different spin on pushing through or soldiering and sucking up..Example she shares: "I was lost in an internet fog. Rather then working, I was just lulling myself into a haze by mindlessly playing on facebook and piddling on the computer...( I do that sometimes) I was neither relaxing nor productive it was just a giant time and energy suck.
   I tried the new dig deep Get deliberate, inspire and going...I told myself, If you need to refuel and losing yourself on line is fun and relaxing then do it. if not do something deliberately relaxing. Find something inspiring to do rather than something soul sucking. Then last but not least, get up and do it. she got up and put in the movie she had sitting on the desk for a month from Netflix and it was just what she needed.
   It wasn't the old Dig Deep- the pushing through. I didn't force myself to start working or to do something productive. Rather, I prayerfully, intentionally and thoughtfully did something restorative.

I write this out because I do find myself more and more getting sucked in and it's kind of scary. Sucked in to a sedentary life style.. be it being 50 or what but it's so easy to slug along and then have to push so hard it seems. So then my dual personality wades in to the next part of the Artist Way-Walking in this World and I'm beginning to read the first part of week one...discovering a sense of origin...I know I should wait for my on line group but the need to continue is strong so I follow that intuitive nudge. The beginning statement of the chapter always has me thinking...JC shares. This week initiates you creative pilgrimage. (oh I love those two words together) You are the point of origin. You begin where you are with who you are, at this time, at this place. You may find yourself hopeful, skeptical, excited, resistant, and all of the above. The readings and tasks in week one all aim at pinpoint the "You" you have been evading. When we meet our creativity, we avoid ourselves. when we meet our creativity, we meet ourselves, and that encounter happens in the moment. The willingness to be ourselves gives us the origin in originality.

So how do this two connect for me...well I'm sure any one reading two books at the same time could muster up what ever they want can't they...Be it where I am on my Creative pilgrimage or spiritual path..

so here for me is the connection...Setting out starting at the beginning...Making art is making love with life. We open ourselves to art as to love. We take baby steps...a whole bunch of us like to jump forward...or push through, soldier up or suck it up and get her done thinking...and here with what I've read it's about taking a small step toward what you want to do...and keep in it real as possible and relaxing and enjoying the process...as JC goes on to add it's about keeping the Drama on the Page or I like to do is Keeping it on the canvas or watercolor paper..

As I ramble on and on here I can't help but stick to what's worked for me and that is to set out and have some intention on where I would like to go and I mean with go about the next year of creative pilgrimage...Ideas are floating around in my head I'll have to write them down and for starters I'm just going to share them here.

1. This whole new year coming in 2012 is a big year for collage artists....it's 100 years collage has been consider a fine art. George Braque and Picasso where the first to bring into the main stream back in 1912 and artist have all explored it ever since. I just received a movie I order about George and Pablo going to the movies.. it's about cubism and how they both along with many other artist where influence by film back then. Kind cool to watch...so I feel a obligation to keep that in the forefront of the years agenda...\
2. continually creating a new body of work...or taking what I do to a higher level
3. presenting workshops and classes and really testing my teaching abilities as of vamp up the role I play in it all...I've got a neighbor that can video record me doing what I do...hmmm that's a bit jump but can be done in small steps.
4. giving some extra time with a project at the art league...got to watch that as of time and where I need to be.
5. doing some outdoor art fairs and seeing about getting back in to One of a Kind.
6. working with the two galleries I have now...really working with them as of producing more work.

Oh and being a homestead manager and dog walker and find the inner peace and balance of it all..I remember a person asking me in a phone interview what else do you do...? Heck honey there isn't time for anything else and this is the life I love to live it fill me whole...

Finding what works and sticking to it.

2011-12-10T07:07:00.001-06:00

Couldn't help myself after three months of reading the first artist way in small segments everyone morning I felt out of a personal balance with out reading JCs words in the morning and also reading my book again by Brene Brown...so I started them both back up again yesterday and then continued this morning. The second book in the set of three is Walking in this World and what a better one to do right now as of my walking has been interrupted by the show schedule. I'm still in my introspective mode and can't help but think about a new series of work to start up...but the problem is I've got some much work laying around here I need to get it out and hanging some where.. I joined the Elmhurst Artist Guild and today is a day to drop off the work so with the husband home we've been sharing the vehicle so I need to get that scheduled in today. Just some ramblings going on but back to the finding what works...I seem to stray now and then or like a pendulum sway from one side to the other which is OK as long as I have a direction to head in. I prone to having to have a game plan and to stick to it as much as I can. So falling back into my routine if things and trying now to get all bah humbug on Christmas here...10 more days...darn it...got my cards ready need stamps and then also need to finish up the last flag for the prayer flags exchange...rambling on about my list of things to do today..Oh I need to head to staples too, I need a new program and they have it there...getting ready for the new year and finishing up with the old one...

Prayer flags continued...

2011-12-09T16:56:00.001-06:00

Prayer flag #4

Prayer flag #5

Prayer flag #6

Prayer flag #7

Prayer flag #8

Prayer flags were cut from a sheet of canvas I had to the size of 6 x 10, it's what one of members decided we would do which was fine with me...this way the would all be the same size.

Well after I cut the canvas I folded over the top and stitched around and left the top sides open to slip the rope or in this case I used a dowel rod as you can see in the last picture.

I didn't use gesso as a base because it could crack with the bending that might happen in shipping so I just put two coats of polymer on the surface and let each coat dry.

The last one you see here is mine...forgot to make me one. So I'll trying to get that done later this weekend.

I taped off the edge of the canvas and then without knowing it when I did a acrylic glazing I went over the tape and got the black odd shapes along the very top of the canvas...one of those happy mistakes and I went with the theme the rest of the way.

After I tacked down the collage papers with a heat seal iron and then coated all the papers with polymer and let it dry then came back in to each one and add the image transfer of the hand print. My prayer on the back that goes with these flags is "May the hand of Good Orderly Directions be with you always" there numbered and dated. I'm excited..let the house go and worked on this all day. I figure a good 7 hours in on them.. I need to have these ready by tomorrow and in the mail..they should be good and dried but if not they may be a bit late.

http://theprayerflagproject.blogspot.com/

This site above has wonderful information.

Prayer Flags

2011-12-09T12:44:00.001-06:00

Prayer Flag #1

Prayer Flag #2

Prayer Flag #3

As part of a on line Artist Way Group we are making Prayer Flags to share and well I'm late on creating them and getting them out to all the members of the group. They are to be 6 x 10 and then fold over the top and stitch it. well I stitched all the way around the size of the artwork you see here so the canvas doesn't fray away...Kind of cool...I'm sure this can be altered in many ways but doing what I do and putting it on canvas makes them stiffer but still works..I'm going with it for now till have more time to play around and see what else I can come up with as of it might be cool to make them bigger or even smaller and hang with a dowel rod stained..I'm sure there are many other ways to make them...

It's Friday

2011-12-09T07:48:00.001-06:00

It's Friday and I'm heading to the studio this morning...Snow has fallen and just enough to add to the holiday season...my fish tank is super clean and we have the Christmas tree up and holiday decor out with some more lights outside...My son got adventure with his twin sister and hung lights out this year...Now to get those Christmas card addressed and sent out and the Christmas shopping too..

Regaining some balance

2011-12-08T07:11:00.001-06:00

I feel it's the story of my life...find balance and trying not to lose balance. How do you do that, by getting back into some kind of normal routine. I was able to make it to the woods and do my granny trot around the path. It felt so good to be physical and breath and get into a zone. I saw lots of Red tails Hawks all day yesterday from close to my home to out in the woods and I hear the Sand Hill Cranes fly over. This is the latest I've seen them migrate South. It's always good medicine for me as of walking in the woods as to regain balance. After preparing for the past two month for the one of a kind show and then my husband unexpected hospital stay with legionnaires disease, which by the way he'd mending well and should be going back to work soon. How he caught this is a mystery as the bacteria is in a water vapor and it's microscopic.

Well anyways...I'm feeling back to my normal and it's because I was able to get out side and breath fresh air and be by myself...the solitude is so important to knowing who I am and what the next best thing is to do. I've finished the first book of the three in the Artist way with a group and there a wonderful group on line. I found though by working with the book everyone morning with my morning pages it keep me in the present of each day and that's so important for me...knowing that there are responsibilities to tend to I was still able be present in day with out going crazy and thinking what happens in three months or a year from now.. So knowing what works in your life is important and it may not be trying the next thing sitting on the shelf it maybe hanging out with some quiet time and regrouping your thoughts and keeping up with the normal routines that bring you joy. really joy not gitty goofy stuff but the stuff that makes you feel real inside.

I can't help but think though about the next art I want to create...I've got some panels up there in the studio and over load of paper I made but guess what ...Holiday's are here and they have to be looked at and then taxes...there I go slipping out of the present and into the future...I need the slap of the 2 x 4 to keep me present..I've got an opportunity to make some prayer flags and not sure if I will or not...I'm still sitting on the fence with that but I do need to bring down the Christmas tree and clean my big 55 gallon fish tank..I've had one in my home all my life it seems but I'm about tired if it lately...seems every time I turn around it needs to be cleaned out..it's takes about a good 1 1/2 hours to clean and then I always feel better that I did it this is one thing I seem to procrastinate about, but the husband is home and can help me with the outside filter...as I always have a hard time getting it started back up..

well back to regaining balance, hard to believe one week ago I was driving into the city to be part of the one of a kind show...thank God for GPS's...other wise I would have been lost..

Ramblings...

December's #1 Tack Down Tuesday

2011-12-06T07:08:00.001-06:00

"Taking the Dan Ryan Home"

8 x 8 collage ready for frame in a 2" white mat all sides, final size is 12 x 12.

#120511-A

Materials used:

Watercolor paper, polymer medium,Mat medium, acrylics, stained tissue papers, altered and painted engineersplans, old book pages, old player piano paper, image transfer letters andshapes fused to the watercolor paper and sealed with a satin UV varnish.

Meaning of the Art:
Every day for six days I was traveling into Chicago to either set up the booth, be present for the four daysof the show or pick up my art from the One of a Kind Show and I would swingaround the blocks and take Ontario tothe Dan Ryan and headed home. Though the shows event was very exciting I alwayslonged to be home. I'm just a big home buddy at heart, missed my husband, fouryoung adults and my four legged loves waiting for me ever night at home. Thisis what I would see was buildings, the hustle of the traffic and it was usuallyearly morning or late at night when I was traveling.

50.00 plus tax and s/h

Reflections on One of a Kind show

2011-12-05T06:15:00.001-06:00

I'm up and sore the body is talking to me from places I had forgotten about...Brought home the art yesterday and I had a melt down as of all the excitement from the past two months I letting out all the air I had.
My homestead was a wreck as of the family tried to keep it contained to some extent but it was a wreck and I was just over whelmed with it all. Not that I'm any super house keeper...by far not but it just feels good to not have to come home and clean... so a few tears were shed and the girl got her groove going again and picked up and my one daughter kicked in with doing the dishes and all was pretty well manageable with in two hours and I ate a fast food lunch which is not normal and I fell a sleep in the lazy girl chair I have and when I woke up I we ready for the studio...it felt so good and comfortable to put on the apron and I didn't turn on the music as I normally do and just relaxed into the silence of the moment and created a piece for tack down Tuesday. I've been creating every Monday afternoon with these spontaneous collages since the beginning of August...so come the end of the year I'll have 5 months completed with this...Kind of amazing to keep it up this long but as long as I can I'm going for it. Well got some misc..stuff to do and take care of like going to the market and doing some food shopping and taking the dogs to the park this morning.

Two days down and two more to go

2011-12-03T05:45:00.001-06:00

I can't believe I'm still here at the One of a Kind show in Chicago and that I'm among all the artists, fashion and craftspeople..it truly is an out of body experience mainly because of the sizes of the place and the number of artisan here. The organization of it is outstanding and it's amazing. There have been times that I was the directional person as of people coming to me and asking which way something was, you can get turned around so fast there. Today starts a bit earlier at 10:00 am but ends at 7:00 and Sunday 10-5pm Well best get the lunch packed up and some coffee for the late night drive home...seems it's a test for me to keep my eye's open..

Floor to Ceiling

2011-12-02T06:06:00.001-06:00

Well here's the booth, quiet still the crowds haven't started coming in yet. I realized I didn't have any signage for inside the booth, I'll be bring it today and I have a dark spot there in both back corners I need a electrician to come and adjust the lighting. I brought the smaller work and some newer works.

I'm really like the bin an d the display desk I purchased this year. I throw in the plants at the last minute to protect the legs on the one display panel I used.. as I stated before don't want any tripping in the both or knock down anything. As my daughter came into the booth she said Mom it looks like home..made me feel good. Well best get a move on the day and get packed up with lunch and something to eat for dinner...kind of pricey for the food there but it's good. I won't have a helper today but I think the booth mates on the right of me will watch as I run to the restroom.. Sales were low but that's to be expected for the first day...it's the day for people to skim over the art and really try to see it all and then come back and do the purchasing. Me I've got nothing to compare to it's my first time so all new and excited is the attitude I'm carrying. I saw so many good people from my classes and friends...it was awesome to see them all.

Day one of 4 One of a Kind Show-Chicago

2011-12-01T06:19:00.001-06:00

4 ity

12 x 12

Featuring Abstract Collage Landscapes

This Thursday Starts One of a Kind Show at the Merchandise Mart,
don't miss it!

The holiday season is upon us and so many wonderful events, fairs and show with local artisans are all around. Hope to see you at one of the many events, but if there is one to go to that would be for sure the One of a Kind Show here in Chicago, I hear it's the place to purchase One of Kind gift items this season..It will be my first time exhibit at the Merchandise Mart, scared? Yes but also so excited to there amoung some 600 artists.

See dates and how to get free tickets below.

One of a Kind Show - Chicago IL Dec. 1, 2, 3, 4 2011
For a complimentary ticket to the show(good for 2) visit oneofakindchicago.com, click tickets and enter code APC11

It went smoothly

2011-11-30T07:22:00.001-06:00

I'm all set up at the One of a Kind show...and I will return Thursday Morning ready to go...Refreshed I hope. Amazing the size of the Merchandise Mart...I was there once before to see Art Chicago I think it was called and was blown away...Not many artists were then yesterday so was happy how it all worked out...left the homestead around 6:45 and made it to the city around 7:30 to wait in line under the Mart and then by 9:30 I was up in my booth looking at all my stuff and just really excited and scared all at the same time...but pass through the scaredness really fast and start hanging the work...Oh first I set home as of my panel and desk and bin and put them in place...I only used on panel but was ready for two. All is good but I need more bin work so I'm planning on matting up some work I have laying around that I've not matted up and bring that too.

What I did see there is a cross of one of a kind stuff and some amazing fine art...should be a good show.

Hope to see you all there.

set up for One of a Kind show today

2011-11-29T05:57:00.001-06:00

Two days before the big opening of the One of a Kind show is what the artist have to get our regalia and act together and be ready for Thursday's Opening Day... so I'm ready, excited and make my lunch and off and down the road I go...

BOGO November's #5 Tack Down Tuesday

2011-11-28T09:13:00.001-06:00

Wide River Red

8 x 8 collage with 2" mat all sides 12 x 12

Wide River Blue

8 x 8 collage with 2" mat all sides 12 x 12

Materials Used:

140lb. watercolor paper, Polymer medium gloss, engineerplans paint. stained tissue papers, Old book pages, gessoed and painted Kraftpaper, painted and glazed white lunch bags and printed parchment papers withblack thread stitching. Sealed with UV satin varnish.

Meaning behind the art:
Our family just went through a unexpected emergency and madeit through with much gratitude. My heart is flowing with love, life and all the small things that really matter. Eventhough the situation for our family was a bit scary there was a strong flow likewater in a river that guided us. My favorite colors to create with our thisturquoise and red/orange and grey and yellow...something about those colorsreally excite me. The turquoise blue is a color that bring me peace andcalmness. And the red orange represents a strong life force that runs throughall living creatures, connecting us. Anamazing abundance was what I felt when I was creating these pieces.

I know it's Monday but because I'll be in the city tomorrow setting up for the One of A Kind Show I would still like to offer this opportunity to purchase two collage a day early as Preview Tack Down Tuesday's 5th BOGO special. So don't pass this deal up, One for you and one for a gift.

Today is Buy one Collage and get the other one Free

Inner serenity

2011-11-27T06:27:00.001-06:00

Inner Serenity is how I can say I've dealt with this all. Husband is home and had a pretty good nights sleep but still has to take it at a snails pass. We are all so grateful to be back to our little norm.

I have to share how and what has helped me stay sane...and I'm so grateful for being able to put this into practice.

1. I do have a higher presence in my life and I do turn to often and this last week and a half I've had to have it carry me and my husband. I've all way's believed but now if ever a speck of doubt no more. Not that I ever needed any proof but it was given to us with out asking only seeking guidance through this.

2. My walks in the woods... though I was only able to walk the two four legged loves around the neighborhood a few times it was all the time before that help me walk in a clearing through it all. With out realizing I would picture moments of pure joy and meaning that I experience when I'm walking in the woods that was very strong in me and help me keep an inner peace.

3. And the most important parts have been the connection of people, all the nurses that where on the spot doing their jobs. Some long 12 hours shifts and two to three days in a row. Of course the team of doctors working together to solve this situation as best that know how... But back to the nurses, not only are they there for the care of a patient but for the family members too. They play a role of many. We are so grateful for them and their love of there job.

4. All our family and friends that have sent prayers and contacted us through it all have been a wondrous means of support.

5. Staying in the day and moment with gratitude was the biggie for me. I would start to drift to the dark side stop and step out everyone once and a while but then quickly jump back in and head to the moment. And the dark side is the fear...fear of what if and then the vehicle gets rolling in thought. The meaning of One Day at a Time has been a motto to carry me through along with the trust in a God or as many of us have heard...Good Orderly Direction /God...

So now a bit of anxiety is welling but I'm so thankful that I've been doing my Girl Scout thing and preparing for the event of the One of a Kind Show...I was all so willing to let to go right by...so totalling accepting of that choice...but my reality right now has keep the door open for me to continue on exhibiting... Back to the game plan and gather the regalia around the homestead and centering it one place and checking things off the list and tomorrow will be packing day.

Thanks and many blessing for everyone that has read my posts the last few days and has sent their care, prayers and good positive thoughts they have done wonders...now to continue and play it forward to the next family member or friend..and I think I send a good thought to a stranger too..never now if they need one or not..

Peace in, out and all around

Saturday

2011-11-26T06:46:00.001-06:00

Reality is...I've got to get going on making a new list...and this list is for all the things I need to gather around the house and pack up in the Transit for Tuesday morning...I need to get to the Merchandise Mart for 8:00am drop off...then the fun begins as of I get to set up home for four days. I've been putting this on hold because of the family emergency with my husband...I just heard there was an episode on House, TV show that was about Legionnaire's Disease. The thing is after the antibiotic do their thing it's gone...complication can be with his other organs...such as his heart, lungs and liver...but he's was never contagious like a cold...I have to share with you something that is so wild...the bacteria is in a water vapor that could travel up to 4 miles before it was breathed in by my husband...That's not how it happened, we really don't know where when or how but that is how fluky this is. So I'm sticking around the house a bit long this morning because I need to caught up on some things and then I can head up for a visit...it brings a few tears up and out when I hear from him that he's so happy to hear my voice in the morning...the nights have been a bit hard on him.. So as I said he should be coming home soon as he's on step down where he can walk around now with a pocket version of the monitor for all his stats and feel more like a human being but the ceiling veiwing is murder on perspective...I wonder if they could put nice earthy picture up there when you laying in bed all the time instead of counting the black dots or how may lines you see...Now there's an idea for artist especial one that do landscapes. Something that is peaceful to look at..

Ok off I go moving forward and with grace.

Friday Morning.

2011-11-25T04:15:00.001-06:00

One of those nights when I just couldn't sleep...some thoughts spinning in my head, good but spinning. So got up and tended to a bit of folding laundry and tidying up the kitchen. I'll be heading up to the hospital this morning to see my husband...things are looking good still but the heart still needs some tender loving care and I hope the meds' will do there trick or everything else will get back into ligament as most of it has...

Had a free Thanksgiving meal in the Hospital with my husband...he sleep off and on though it but that's good he needs the sleep. He had some turkey later but appetite isn't there. Confusion is cleaning up little by little, amazing how sodium in the body or lack of it can calls this confused stay...elders get this alot when they get pneimona and dyhdrations...and then to bring the sodium levels back up it still causes that till is stablized. So it's been very frustating for him because he knows it's going on...but he should be back up and running in about a month with full recovery...so the holiday season has a whole different meaning for us all in the Svencner homestead.

I've been keeping center with the quiet time in the hospital sitting next to him in the chair, I've not sat like that in I don't know how long...I think it was when I breast fed the babies did I sit and realy just be present in the moment...relearning the importance of that..

I'm not sure how things are going to go as of the One of a Kind show...if all goes as planned the husband should be home on Sunday and Tuesday I set up...My work was picked with a few other artists to be show cased in the main enterance or something so that was a wonderful surprise. but if life still holds us off to the side for a bit longer so be it and there will be another year for OOaK show and I'll have a good stock pile of work ready for the next show...just how the cookie crumbles around here.. more important to accept and go with the flow, keeping it simple and staying light in the heart and mind then it's is to drag extra baggage around with this all.

Well off to got to Target early to pick up a few things.

Staying in the moment

2011-11-24T11:41:00.001-06:00

I'm up at the hospital now with my husband. The girls were up this morning and possible this after noon they will all come up to visit the old fart...It's been a bit scary at times and mainly the way the mind has been playing tricks on him. With the sodium levels so low the next step was a coma...as we pass with each day the seriousness of this all is coming out. The heart is still in afib as of irregular beats..But just last night and into this morning he's understanding it. The Neurologist came in, reminds me of my one friend I see out on the woods path...A wonderful elder, with a good rich sense of life and what's so important and it's the little moment between the mess bits. No CT scan for this bad boy which is good, and praying for the heart to slip back into the normal range of beats. Which believe it or not the big bear is sleeping and calm, a bit of snoring going on which I'll have to remember how sweet that sounds later from today.

I have to say I've had some moments where I've wanted to blame point figures and start some drama.. but what's saved me is to say in just this day...as the old timers say..One day at time.. and what a blessing that is to just focus on this day. If I can say this with out sounding weird I had to watch out for myself as I would head to the dark side of the thinking and started a roller coaster of thoughts heading for a train wreck before it ever need to be. And then there were moments when the old Bear would get a bit nasty with the words and I had some hurt feelings...Had to go to the corner and let go of my Oh pour Me's...

Right now I've not be at peace like this and so in love with this man.. I'm a blessed woman..

Switching things up

2011-11-23T06:12:00.001-06:00

Be it life that continually changes or oneself that want's to make a change, I've been put in this position many times and will have many more because thats life and her mess bits. With my husband in the hosptial the last few days, and is doing much better, these kind of experiences bring change. And for sure a new perspective on life. I've been having to life in the moment and day by day as much can change and though it's been bit on the edge of the seat so to say it's also been very freeing. All the worry about weeks from now or months just don't mean anything. It's about what I see and feel now.
I decided to take my four legged loves for a walk together this morning and the stars were out and a hoot of an owl was present...

Test in Faith the last three days

2011-11-22T07:49:00.001-06:00

We as of the Svencner's family have had a bit of a scare...the big man of the homestead here Randy caught the flu as far as we thought until Sunday Morning I decided it wasn't getting better and took him in to Emergency...not sure what was up till they found out he had pneumonia and then just yesterday found out he as Legionnaires disease...being he works in Sewer and Water he could have came in contact with it and it takes 2-14 days to come down with it and it then leads to pneumonia...so we are still in a concerned state but shooting for Thanksgiving day that he will come home...We have much to be grateful for.