good hope in life, collage ramble of wordage

Do you ever get those nudges to find out more about some thing?  Be intuition or a nudge from a higher source.   I've been receiving radio waves so to say about Loss, loneliness and Grief.   I think I brought it up a few weeks ago.   Well it's popped its lovely head back up to latch on time to do some life schooling and find out more.

With understanding this all...I will state it's part of life...feeling loss and the pain that surrounds it...no I'm not going off the deep end and jumping ship with talk like this. The need to understand and connect is where I coming from.

At 53 soon to be 54 I've experience my share of loss... in my own personal childhood, first  a death of a sister at the age of 5...took me till I was 38 years of age to understand that all as I sat next to her grave. Then moving to many homes and loss and sense of place or home. This moving was done for the better of the family as my father finally had a home built for us...then there was the lost of the family unit...mom, dad, sister and me in this wonderful home and big yard..only to be separated by divorce...I truly am fortune that this is all normal stuff that can happen in ones past...It could have be worse. No poor me's just stating a fact and the point, I am now a Woman, who has experienced the change of life... and is now on the other side of things where you can see that life is short  and plans that could have might not so I feel there best to be understood and the choice is now to live better.

Hang in there with me....I know I'm a reflective one and I like to room-ante in area that unsettle my emotional state.  Yes Analogize things till I understand it better to connect to the bigger picture.

So with what I'm rambling about, I bring this

Loss of intimacy and loss of perspective is big...and when you're little you have no Idea what is going on and if your parents didn't get it or know how to handle well there you go, a mess ball of repeating...a basket full of emotional stuff. Good ingredients for self-expression in art of some sorts I will say though...Raw stuff...Real, Awesome and Whole.

Then what might also happen without realizing is relationships start to deteriorate...when you little or growing who knows this stuff? Really.

Grieving our childhood-spending years without realizing we are grieving. Any slight change can trigger feelings of loss....in our adults lives...living with out tools...is more like it.

I'm at the point where growth is upon me...Yes at this mid-age...thankful I can keep learning. I can recognizing my grief, and it seems to offer a sense of dignity.  Respect for what is...life and all her many facets of good down-to-earth opportunities to live through it... which is experience that turns to wisdom.

Not trying to be depressing about this, which happens to us all some time or another....but what I'm urged to do is understand its part in my life. As I age more of this will be present along with richer inner spiritual growth moments. Being Aware and a full time person will have me dealing with both sides of the coin.   That's called..."Living in the Present and learning to do the next right thing."

Empowering myself with a bit of the bigger picture and good hope in life.