After I got home from the workshop....I unpacked and grabbed the sugar, got into some store bought cookies I had left over...not one of my favorite things to do...Fact is I don't know how to come down on my own....I worked myself silly and into a food coma with sugar...not proud of it but at least I see it in myself...so with all that I create weird sleep patterns. I was in bed by 7:00 pm last night and now up at 3:00 am...so silly... ready to go for the day....My mind was reeling a few days ago when I read the next part of the Artists way Week 7...
I share this all as I go through my continued creative recovery of life/art/ and what ever else I'm to or should be recovering from.
Prior to getting prepared for this workshop....I put my all into it and I'm not saying this to get a pat on the back, it's just what I do...give me something I passionate love to do and I pour myself into it...as of journal writing and making my own journals with the Coptic stitch and collage. I've heard more people ask about making this that it lead me to see if I could do it...that's right take the risk to teach a workshop. With the help of my husband he willing gave of his time and made 16 bookbinding cradles for me...and yesterday I sold two of them. He was tickled by that...but that's another story.
What I wanted to share that relates to Week 7's A sense of Connection in the Artists Way is this.
I so wanted to have this whole workshop to work out and I envisioned it to a point and then it all got a bit foggy...and thank God it does, nerve racking but it always does. I think it's because the vision only can work that way, it helps let go of the end result...
That end result will always direct you into the ground....dead and done.
I did it though, I complete my task of Teaching a Workshop as I had wanted to.....Yes and was it perfect? By far no....it is just completely silly to predict how it will all turn out. Leaving room for what it's all suppose to be, and I will say RAW...as of Real, Awesome and Whole the experience becomes something utterly out of something larger then myself and all of us there, watching and witness, people learning, their joys and struggles.
So the rest of week 7's stuff...... From the Artists Way....
It’s not about getting it right, Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It is a loop-an obsessive, debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are writing or painting or making and to lose sight of the whole.
We correct our originality into a uniformity that lacks passion and spontaneity, “Do not fear Mistakes,” Miles Davies told us, “there are none.”
Instead of enjoying the process, the perfectionist is constantly grading the results.
Question- why do we do this to ourselves? Where does this come from?
Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that
nothing we do will ever be good enough-that we should try again, No. we should not.
Pride and ego are part of this perfectionism.
The success of a creative recovery hinges on our ability to move out of the head and into action.
Usually when we say we can’t do something, what we mean is that we won’t do something unless we can guarantee that we’ll do it perfectly.
Once we are willing to accept that anything worth doing might even be worth doing badly our options widen.
Susan Jeffers- We cannot escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all our exciting adventures…Take a risk a day-one small or bold stroke that will make you feel great once you have done it.
Jake La Motta- So do it. If you win, you win, and if you lose, you win. It is always that way with taking risks.
Is a map, Jealousy is always a mask for fear, it is a tough love friend, it is a stingy emotion and it produces tunnel vision.
Wordy I know....
An ideas of teaching how to make a Coptic stitch journal came to mind while ago...I kept pushing it back and down/stuffing it for later....then I asked for help....(there's the key) and I had two big tubs of wooden bookbinding cradles. The vision of seeing them on the tables was so clear to me...then the making of a few videos of the process came to mind. Thinking... Oh God here I go....help me out here...and I put the camera on the tripod and hit the button and went at it. (thinking if I lose I win, I dared greatly)
Perfect video's ? By far not...RAW for sure and then came writing the packet up....Oh that is always about letting go of perfect and taking a risk...I always feel exposed...but I do it anyways....
Working with the Artists Way....has a way of me pushing through and moving forward....trying new things and exploring how far I really can go. Reading the book is like weekly reminders that I can do this all and we as human-beings can live our dreams...but we have to let go....take risks and ask for help...not sure in that order but in some order that fits us individual.
I found this week by going out in the woods and hiking through the snow that was about 5 to 6 inch thick with a layer of ice underneath was risky Having the help and security of my walking/hiking sticks at my side I was able to complete two times around...It wasn't easy and I really had to pull deep from inside to complete this. I took a risk in the weather, and exposed myself. In a good day this path I walk in the woods is a piece of cake. After words I continued to treat myself to lunch which I wrote about a few posts earlier. I almost didn't do it but silly as it sounds I risked that too. No fears of eating lunch by myself...I know I have no problem doing that.......it was about completing an artists date I had planned on a few days early and really doing it...Risking to complete it all...
This whole experience of an artists date, stays with me and gives me the courage to do what I did yesterday..I can dig deep from a place of inner courage I forget I have and just do...let go and just do it..and be part of the moment the process and live life fully....for what it's worth I share.....