Stained Tissue papers

Wednesday morning is turning out to be a moment of looking back but not in a stalling way more so in a way to comprehend all that has happen and really be thankful for it. I may got off the page here a bit but in walking forward I think one has to sway from side to side...

First off my encounter with a Raven...I'm still in awe about that and I can't help but seek a deep understanding. I see this wonderful spirit of a bird in a sickened state and my first reaction and thoughts were,  don't let anything tame your spirit. Stay free of thought and stick to your personal integrity. And then thinking about the path ahead  I take these first insightful words as truth. A message from a messenger into the unknown...(sharing now from Medicine cards book I have on Raven)
Raven guides the magic of healing and the change in consciousness that will bring about a new reality and dispel "dis-ease" or illness. Great Mystery and the field of plenty.

 It says if I have chosen Raven...well I didn't but he was present to me, and there is some family illness that tugs at my heart. Raven magic is a powerful medicine that can give you the courage to enter the darkness of the void, which is the home of the all that is not yet in form. The void is call the Great Mystery. Great Spirit existed before all other things came into being. Great spirit lives inside the void and emerges from the Great Mystery. Raven is the messenger of the void... OK I read that and was in awe.. Raven's Color is the color of the void- the black hole in space that holds all the energy of the creative source.  In Native teachings the color black means many things, but it does not mean evil. Black can mean the seeking of answers, the void, or the road of the spiritual or nonphysical. Magic is in the air do not try to figure it out, you cannot. It is the power of the unknown at work, and something special is about to happen. The deeper mystery, however is how you will respond to the sparkling synchronicity of this alchemical moment.

Question to ask,
Will you recognize it and use it to further enhance your growth?
Can you accept it as a gift from the Great Spirit?
 or Will you limit the power of the Great Mystery by explaining it away?

After receiving all this information I was stunted to read the week 6 in the Artist Way.
In my Morning pages I'm to write about God...and to explore the god I believe in, and god I would like to believe in. And ask a question about What would a nontoxic God think about your creative goals? Might such a god really exist? If so, would money or your job or you lover remain your higher power?  Well some heavy stuff there to share with you all but it's where this artist is, making sense of her life and seeking a more spiritual life all the way around.

When I truly make the connection and accept the good orderly direction in my life, I begin to see the tangled lives smooth out; tangled relationship gain sanity and sweetness. Wanting to and learning to live a Happy Joyous and Free life.

"Creativity is not and never has been sensible...why should it be."..JC say.

I'm grabbing at sections in the weeks chapter here that are speaking strongly to me...
Making art begins with making Hay while the sun is shines. It begins with getting into the now and enjoying your day...here is where some words from a lady I met awhile back flash up to me as I read this last part..."Honey if you want to know where your God is? He's in the now, the present that is all around you...so that gave me the thought about being more present in my life and not hanging on to the past like I'm chewing on a bone again and again.  When I'm in the Now of my life there is more peace and sanity..

Further down the page it reads.... What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money come to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us..   Well you may be thinking Ya right in your dreams...well for what every reason and call it the Great Mystery in my life I'm not questioning how things happen but more so ask for guidance as I walk this path. 

The Key she added is to be authentic.  as I venture out in the void of my life lets say the unknown territories I'm lead with guiding spirit of those words I heard, don't be tamed and be authentic...I've hearing many things about the One of Kind show...us humans like to share news and our experience but I'm not going against the grain as much as being honesty and true to myself and something bigger in my life..

Long winded this morning...more,
All too often ,we become blocked and blame it on our lack of money. This is never authentic block. the actual block is our feeling of constriction, our sense of powerlessness. Art requires us to empower ourselves with choice. At the most basic level, this means choosing to do self-care.

I'm in awe again as I read this, with the panic I could be placing myself in about only less then two month to be on target for this four day show I can't help but also be pulled in to what keeps me grounded and that's my connections to the woods and walking the path and stay as well in spirit and body as I can...Let's call it Me first thinking and then I'm good for all that comes.

Caution,  is watching out for the Wet blankets in our lives...you know the ones that you share you great news and where your headed and all the abundance going on and they say things like...You know Your going to get burnt out...Or  I wouldn't do that, sound like to much work for me...Or it's all crafty now and not what it use to be why would you want to do that...I know I wouldn't...well as I said Caution... Shaming...don't want to be stuck there so I quickly going in to the self care mode and seek what's working in my life and stay there and look back at all the unexpected things that have come out of a void place in my life or the Great Mystery and I trust that...quickly sway away from that kind of thinking and words.  

Well there I went again...swing and swaying form this to that..picking up piece that fit my puzzle of life. For whatever reason I share this I'm really only trying to make sense about it too...it's one of those things that haven't totally revealed itself yet..and that's Ok..I'm finding out that now knowing every details about things is OK...learning to let go of needing to know every step of the way takes the childlike exictment out of my life and I still like to be thrilled, scared and in awe about things. Just pulling on past experience and knowing I'm going to do just fine.

So this weekend I have blocked out a section of time  to stick to my game plan in the Creative space of my studio to create some papers... but this morning I will be venturing to the City...to be interviewed by the Chicago Artist Coalition to see if I'm a good fit for the year long project...Coalition Gallery...kind of scary but taking a risk and seeing where it will lead me...had to call the gallery I'm in just down the street aways to see if it was OK to do this, as I've got a contract and it states I have to be 3 miles away from the gallery to venture out and exhibit...but the Gallery Director was really excited to hear of my news and had not problem with that.. so the doors seem to be staying open in some area and I'm walking through.