Tuesday, July 13, 2010

And Life goes on, thankful for that......Self - Assertiveness

It's Tuesday now and yesterday I ran around tending to drying out the tent, display panels and all the other stuff that got wet, even washed up some of the sheeting and now it's all packed up and read for the next show... in a few weeks at Genvea July 24th and 25th..

Self-Assertiveness-Chapter 6 of A Women's Self-Esteem,
( from the book)
     When we have good self-esteem, self-assertiveness tends to follow as a natural consequence. And when we are appropriately self-assertive, we strengthen our self-esteem.  The relationship is reciprocal. One of the ways we can build self-esteem, then is by learning to honor our wants, needs, values and thoughts-and by seeking appropriate way to express them in the world. 
     Self-assertiveness means my willingness to stand up for myself, to be who I am openly, to treat myself with descent respect in my encounters with others. It means I don't fake who I am-misrepresent my values or belief or perceptions-to win your approval. 
      One of the most self-assertive women Nataniel has ever know is also one of the kindest and most generous. But she is unwilling to live underground-unwilling to hind her intelligence or her convictions or her passions. She treats her needs and goals as important -not necessarily important to others but important to herself.  ( I can't help but comment after this, I do understand what this kind of women is like and there are a few in my life that I really honor and look up too.  it's an amazing feeling to be around them, though they are humble they are self-assertive)
      Women often disown their strengths because they are afraid that to express them will lend to loss of love.
Questions-To keep love do I have to deny what I see and know? is too much consciousness the enemy of relationships?  ( not to sound all feminious on everyone here but don't dumb yourself down to fit in.)

       Self-assertion begins with the act of exercising consciousness-of seeing and thinking. If we retreat from this challenge, inevitably we wound our self-esteem.

Self-assertiveness is tested not by what we are against but what we are for...

To face our own wants and honor our own values takes courage. We need to come out of our hiding places. We need to participate in life. At first, it may be difficult.  But the world belongs to those who persevere.

Again, the stems of sentences are ask and for the reader to complete.. it is said to complete these at lest 6 different ending quickly.. each day for a week.

If I bring a higher level of self-assertiveness to my activities today-----
If I treat my thoughts and feelings as important-----
If I say yes when I want to say yes and no when I want to say no----
If I ask for what I want openly and with dignity-----
I am becoming aware-----
If any of what I've written is true, It might be helpful if I----

He shares that the exercises should begin to open some doors for you and help you see new possibilities for self-assertiveness. Nothing is won without taking a risk. the choice is yours to gather the courage to walk through these doors. 

Reading this through again this morning after rereading the whole chapter, I'm sitting next to a pile of paperwork that needs to be looked at and decided on if I will enter some exhibit opportunities or pass that along... As mention above it takes courage...I like to play with the words a bit and say it takes Heart... No Oh poor me stuff here more like the facts....If anything is going to happen I have to put it in motion and give it a good chance to happen... how will I know?  if I don't then I'll never know..taking some risk and having confidence that past experiences have been good that more will come.. not as quickly as before but they will come..   So much unsettleness going on all around us...feeding into fear of it is the wrong approach. That's another way our society has has a grip on us is by feeding us fears... Working with what is real in your life is really all you got... First off I look at my passion to create as an artist, it's not always there it seem to fall short by outside influences... I need to protect it like a baby..sounds weird but I know how I feel when I'm creating and there isn't nothing more true or real...What is real in my life?  Each new day I awake, each time I tend to all three aspects in my life...My mind, my body and my soul.. When I'm in tune with that I'm living my life.. Also what's real is the tending of the dailiness that is so mundane but so needed....it's the centering point  the grounded.  Also the foundation of good self-esteem is tending to what needs I need to take care for myself and to not worrying about others in a sense of fulfilling all their needs, when I do this I grow. And I allow them to grow by setting a good action plan... Sound weird but when your in the presence of someone who is really taking care of them self- honor  of their needs how do you feel around them?  I for sure don't feel intimidates more so I feel empowered by them..I want what they have...and all it is...is tending to your crops..your personal needs, your home, your passions, your values...All this does take work and it's not easy to keep it up everyday.. So with thess ramblings I do need to tend to some crops as of burn some CD of my work and get them ready for possible entries into show and exhibits..it's not going to happen unless I put my best foot forward..  And Life goes on an new day comes and it's about the art and life and all the good stuff in between..


  1. All the good stuff in between! Good to keep the strong focus on self assertion, not likely someone else will be doing it for us.

  2. that's the truth isn't it??


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